


All Our Flaws

by SlugmaSundae



Category: The Walking Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Ableist Language, Alcohol, Child Abuse, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-18 12:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 42,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4706438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlugmaSundae/pseuds/SlugmaSundae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See the world of The Walking Dead Season 2 from a new perspective, through the eyes of our survivor, James; as he survives and thrives with his new friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Happy Birthday

# Chapter 1: Happy Birthday

The music at the party was becoming deafening, everything in the house was shaking, including me. I never thought I'd be spending my own birthday party watching the news while everybody else drinks and parties. “There has been reports of the dead rising and devouring the living, authorities advise everybody to remain in their homes or find the nearest shelter.” This is just another 'end of the world' hoax again, isn't it?

 

“James, dude, turn that shit off, yer killing my high.” my friend Devin groaned while slumping back into the leather couch. “You need ta unwind, it's yer birthday.”

 

“Sounds like you need a beer, whaddya say, James my man?” Feeling heavy feet rest themselves upon my lap I looked over at the person.

 

“Not now, Nate, let me finish watchin' this.” I looked back at the screen of my television, fuzzy pictures of grotesque corpses wandering around the streets were being displayed. I furrowed my brows in disbelief.

 

“That reporters pretty hot, whaddya guys rate her?” Nate said while chugging some more beer from his bottle. Looking over to Devin and I he stares in amusement.

 

Devin sat back up from the couch to look at the television closer, intently staring at the reporter, “Hmm... I'd give'er an eight.”. He takes another swig of beer and slowly sinks back into the couch.

 

“What 'bout you, James?”, Nate questioned as he slowly snaked his way closer, “You better fucking not say five again or I swear I'll flip.”

 

I rolled my eyes and looked over at him, “Five.” I said sarcastically watching his expression twist.

 

Nate scowled at me, “Come the fuck on, she deserves at _least_ a solid six!” This earned a laugh from me, and soon from him as well.

 

“What's all this laughing about over here?” Devin's girlfriend, Lauren said as she walked over with my sister, Quinn.

 

“Nothin' important, have you been seeing this crap on TV?” I asked while pointing at the screen, more information of the 'rising dead' was being shown.

 

Lauren looked at me, annoyed. She knew I didn't like her, and frankly I think Devin is the only thing holding us back from fighting.

 

“Mhmm, I think ya need a break from this, you mind checking on Farah for me?” Quinn said as she crossed her arms, smirking in amusement from how wrapped up I was in this story.

 

I gave her a nod and walked up the steps. Farah is my niece, she's an energetic seven year old who stays over often, due to my sister and brother-in-law being out for business. I opened the door to my guest room slowly, peeking in to see Farah's tiny figure curled up on the bed, blankets tossed around. I smiled and shut the door, walking back down the steps.

 

By the time I got down, the woman on TV was ending her report. “This is Carle-” The reporter was cut off, with the camera falling and a scream, immediately after the TV changed to an emergency signal screen.

 

“Th'fuck?” Devin mumbled. It's as if he couldn't speak at this point, his speech being slurred due to him being intoxicated with drugs and alcohol.

 

Suddenly there was a banging at my door, my brother-in-law Rodney opened it, a person who looked like a corpse was on the other side.

 

"Go home, pal, we don't wanna hear none of your – OH SHIT!" The guy lunged at Rod baring it's teeth. Rod managed to push it off and back away, “You piece-a-shit, the fuck's wrong with you?!” he yelled at the man. Screams started sounding throughout the house, as the entire block was flooded with the sound of moaning and groaning.

 

I saw Nate get up and start to head outside, “Where the hell are you going?” I yelled angrily. Did he have a death wish? He stopped for a moment, looking back at me but quickly turning his attention back to his truck, which was parked on the curb. He didn't hesitate to take off after that, speeding down the road recklessly.

 

A group of those weirdos were heading for the front door, as some of the party-goers went to hold the door back, but were too late. The creatures piled on them and started to bite and tear the group up. The horrendous smell caused me to gag, and the sound of people being torn apart didn't help, either. Whatever these things are, they aren't human, not anymore at least. Lauren was in the corner sobbing and Devin was too high to even understand.

 

One of the things got up and started walking towards me, “B-Back off!”, I yelled. I needed something to hold them back, I ran over to the nearby closet, grabbing a broom. I tried using the handle to push the corpse back. This wasn't going to work for long, more were coming inside.

 

 

Rodney and Quinn came running down the stairs, Rodney holding Farah, “Come the fuck on, get to the van!” Quinn shouted as Lauren went running for the driveway, leaving Devin behind. Noticing something Lauren might've forgotten, I grabbed up Devin and dragged him along to the car. Jamming Devin's almost lifeless body into the back seat, I hopped beside him, Rodney following behind and slamming the door just in time for us to take off.

 

“Wh'goin on?” Devin asked as he leaned on my shoulder, falling asleep soon after. I thought to myself, 'He's gonna be hopeless until he's sober.'. Looking over to Rodney who was still holding Farah tightly, I noticed his shoulder was dripping blood.

 

“Fuck, Rod, What happened?” I was trying not to look disgusted but whatever happened to him made it difficult not to.

 

“That shit bag at the door bit me, hurts like hell.” Rodney answered, his eyes locked onto Farah, “All I'm worried about right now is my little girl.”.

 

“We're gonna get you some help, just gotta get away from whatever the fuck _that_ was.” Quinn assured her husband, her voice more stressed than she let on.

 

Lauren peeked over to the back, “Dontcha think someone else should take Farah? Y'know –“ Rodney cut her off, enraged.

 

“Well excuse me, I didn't know she was your fucking kid!” Rodney retorted.

 

“Look, I'm sorry, I just –“ I unintentionally cut her off.

 

“Can we save this for later? Think of the damn kid!” The poor kid was fucking shaking, clearly traumatized over what happened earlier. I would be too if I woke up to that.

 

The car fell silent after that, all except for Devin's constant snoring. After a couple minutes of the awkward silence, Quinn put a CD into the stereo.

 

_It's the eye of the tiger_   
_It's the thrill of the fight_   
_Rising up to the challenge of our rival_   
_And the last known survivor_   
_Stalks his prey in the night_   
_And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger_

 

 **God** , this is gonna be a long ride.   


\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
All Our Flaws originally started on Fanfiction but I've decided to bring it here too!  
Do mind that a majority of chapters, including this one, are older and my writing has since improved, hope you enjoy!


	2. Bottoms Up

# Chapter 2: Bottoms Up

“ _And he's gotta be fresh from the fight._  
I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light.  
He's gotta be sure  
and it's gotta be soon “

 

How long _is_ this song? It feels like it's been playing for hours.

 

I could feel something wet on my shoulder, I turned my head to see what it was. I saw Devin's mouth hanging wide open, drooling all over. “Gross, Devin, wake up!” I yelled at him while elbowing him in the side. “You're drooling all over me!”

 

Devin slowly rose up from my shoulder and held his head, “Wh'happened dude? We goin' to get munchies?” he questioned while watching out the window. “My fuckin' head is killing me.” he groaned while leaning his head back onto the seat.

 

Lauren moved her attention away from chatting with Quinn and moved it to the back seat, “Babe, there are corpses walking around! They were _eating_ people, one even bit Rod! You're lucky I got you out of there!” Ugh, this woman was _so_ fake.

 

“Oh really? What I remember was _you_ darting for the car while _I_ dragged him out.” I crossed my arms and glared daggers at Lauren. This lying to look good shit is gonna end now, I can't deal with it anymore.

 

“Hmm? Well thanks, dude. I owe ya one.” Devin put his arm around me and chuckled, he turned his head to the left, “So...where we goin'?” he questioned while staring out the window.

 

“Well, we need to hit a gas station, I'm runnin' out. If I remember correctly Gil's Pitstop is 'round here somewhere.” Quinn answered, she was visibly stressed. I would take the wheel, but to be honest, I'm a horrible driver. “We'll be there soon, we're gonn' get Rod something for his bite and get some supplies or somethin', fuck, I don't know.”

 

“Daddy, are you s-sick?” Farah finally spoke up, calming down a tiny bit. She was right, Rod looked like complete shit, he looked like he was dripping in sweat and was unfocused. “Your face is hot, daddy! Mom says when your face is hot yer sick!” Rodney just looked down at her and mumbled a slurred, “ 'm fine.”.

 

“Rod, lemme hold Farah, you ain't feelin' right.” Rodney shot me this angry look, if he had the strength for it he would probably yell at me. “I don't wantcha passing out while holdin' her.”

 

“Here.” is all he said as he handed her over, her tiny body still quivering a tiny bit. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes, “Is daddy gon' be okay?” her eyes started watering. _Fuck_ , do I lie to her and say yes? Rod _clearly_ isn't okay.

 

“All we can do is hope, sweetheart.” I tried to smile at her, but it was hard to. This situation is _fucked_ , I wish I could take her away from this. I tried thinking of a tactic to calm her down, “Want me to braid your hair?” I kept a bunch of hair bands on my arm anyway, kinda weird since I don't have enough hair for them though. Her face lit up a tiny bit as she nodded her head.

 

“Here, lemme 'ave one of 'em.” Devin butted in, taking one off my wrist and tying his dreads up in a ponytail with it. “Do I look pretty? Am I beautiful?” he asked while doing dumb 'model' poses.

 

“Yeah, you're gorgeous.” I sarcastically claimed as I rolled my eyes, making tiny braids into Farah's short hair. She was giggling so hard she couldn't breathe, I looked over at Devin and gave him a smile.

 

“We're here, everyone out. Except you, Rod.” Quinn claimed as she pulled into the pitstop. There was another family here too, a man with his wife and son.

 

“ 'm gonna get some food. C'mon dude.” Devin nudged my shoulder as he walked to the main the building, it didn't look open though. “Man, I need some Doritos, they're like a gift from the fuckin' gods.” I've never seen a person so emotional about Doritos before, then again I'm not one to judge.

 

“Dev, the place is closed.” I watched as he tried to open to doors, they were locked. “You're not gonna break in are ya?” I shot him an annoyed glance, I better not get in trouble for this.

 

“Don't worry, I'll pay for it!” He said as he broke the glass door, I gave him the most 'what the fuck' look possible. “I said I'll pay for it!” he yelled as he walked in. I headed back to the gas pumps, not wanting to be a part of that. I glanced at the man filling his car with gas, Farah was playing with his son.

 

“Hey there, m'name's James.” I told him as I held out my hand for a handshake. This was kinda awkward, but it's nice that Farah was getting along with the man's son at least.

 

“Name's Kenny, our kids seem to be gettin' along well.” Kenny chuckled when the kids went running past us laughing and screaming. “His name's Duck, and this beautiful lady here is my wife, Katjaa.” he pointed to the woman in the front seat of his truck. We both awkwardly waved hello to each other.

 

“I'm, uh, not her dad. He's in the car.” I pointed my thumb to behind me where our van was, “I'm her uncle –“ Our conversation was cut off by a high pitched shriek, I turned around and saw Duck being grabbed by one of the corpses. “Oh shit –!” I ran over to grab Farah, while Kenny pushed the corpse down, freeing Duck.

 

“You fucking creep, you get off on touching kids?! I'll end you!” Kenny started to bash the corpse's skull in, the sound of crunching and smell of rotten flesh was making me ill. I made sure to cover Farah's eyes. The corpse was clearly dead after a few hits, but Kenny kept on going.

 

“Jesus, Ken, Stop! You got him!” I grabbed his shoulder, but he pushed me back. I managed to catch my footing while still holding Farah. Maybe I should've just let him go.

 

“Don't fucking call me that, this fucker touched my son!” He glared at me for a minute, then punching the walker one more time, he calls for his son “C'mon Duck, let's go.” He headed back to his truck with Duck and drove off. I then set Farah down.

 

I saw Devin walk out, only a case of beer in hand “They didn't have fuckin' doritos, this place blows. Least they got beer.” He looked down at the corpse, and saw it was wearing a uniform. “Well, I guess he won't be needing any money.”

 

“You didn't leave any money, did you?” I crossed my arms, I didn't really expect him to either. His eyes started to shift around and all he said was a simple “Maybe.”.

Quinn urgently walked out of the car and over to us, “What the hell was that?!”, she must've saw what happened with Kenny and the corpse. “That guy killed this man and you're all standin' around talkin' like it's an everyday thing!”

 

I knelt down to Farah, “Honey, can you go see what Aunt Lauren and Daddy are doing?”, she nodded and walked over to the car, getting in the back seat with her father. Now I can have an 'adult' conversation with Quinn. “Quinn, I understand you're stressed, but why the fuck are you yellin' at us?!”

 

“You're exposing my daughter to a life I don't want her to know!” She got in my face, “Your job is to protect her and you didn't!”

 

“Listen asshole, I didn't bring this kid into the fuckin' world. All I do is protect your damn kid, maybe _you_ can try for a chance!” –SMACK. She slapped me to the ground, and it stung like hell.

 

I heard a loud thump and a groan, “Daddy! Geddup!” Farah was trying to hold her dad up, but he was too big. Quinn rushed over and I saw Rodney whisper something to her, “I'm taking Rod to the bathroom” She yelled over as she started to walk to the back of the building.

 

Lauren started to get out of the car, “I'm gonna get some firewood –“

 

Quinn turned around, “No, I'll get it. You just stay here with Farah.” She turned back around and started to walk Rod to the back again.

 

“Dude, she slapped you _hard_ , even _I_ felt it.” Devin said as he stood up, taking a sip of his beer, “Let's move th'car to th'back, so the two assholes aren't alone. Dunno why they didn' do that themselves.” I gave him a quick nod and headed to the back seat of the car, which happened to be covered in blood.

 

“What happened in here?!” This looked disgusting, dried blood and fresh blood was basically everywhere on the right side of the car. I looked over to Lauren, “Did Rod do this?”.

 

“Hmm? Oh, I wasn't payin' attention.” she answere, _typical_. She has a fucking _dying_ man in the backseat and doesn't pay attention. I got in, putting Farah on my lap so she doesn't touch her dad's blood, and we drove to the back of the building.

 

While getting out I felt a tug on my hoodie, I looked down to see Farah. “I have to pee...” she whined as she held onto my hoodie. “The bathroom's right here, what's the problem?” I questioned as she looked down and then back up at me, “I'm scared...” she mumbled and started shaking her legs. Oh, now that makes sense.

 

I went to the trunk to find her stuffed rabbit, 'Dev', I still can't believe she named it after Devin. “Here, I'll go in with ya, but once I leave Dev is gonn' protect you. Okay?” She nodded while jumping around, “Just wait a sec, I'm gonn' find somethin' to protect ya...” Thank goodness Rod had a pistol in his trunk, asshole always thought somebody was gonna jump him. Problem is I don't know how to use a pistol, or any gun to be honest. Only experience I have is my BB gun, so that's good enough.

 

I went into the girls room first, it seemed perfectly fine. I started opening stalls, they were all empty. “You okay, kiddo?” I asked. She nodded, “I have Dev here, so I'm safe!” I smiled and patted her head. She was such a happy kid, I hope this world doesn't change her.

 

I walked back out and saw Devin and Lauren sitting on the hood of the van, drinking their beers, “Y'want one?” Devin asked while holding out a beer. Fuck it, it's the end of the world. I might as well.

“I was gonna save my first beer for my 21st birthday, but I guess 20th is fine too.” I started to chuckle and I even got Devin to laugh. I opened the beer and took a swig.

 

“This tastes like piss” It really did taste bad, why did people enjoy drinking this? I took another sip, I must've been a real lightweight because my vision was getting blurry, it felt kinda good.

 

“Why do you know what piss tastes like?” Devin asked.

 

I sighed, “Shut up, Devin.”.


	3. Goodbye

#  Chapter 3: Goodbye 

 

My body feels so numb, I feel like I can do anything, this stuff was like liquid courage. “James, ya got a gun, right?”I started to aim Rod's gun around, looking at the blurry silhouettes stumbling around in the woods. _BANG,_ “Did I get't?” I looked over to Devin.

 

“Yeah dude, yer getting' good at this. Ya actually hit that one!” Devin laughed as he stared out into the trees, “Try 'nother one.” he encouraged me. This was great, I lined up the gun to another silhouette, _BANG,_ I think I saw the figure drop. “I think ya knocked it down.” Devin looked really excited, maybe he liked this stuff. “I thought of somethin', we don' really have a set name for these corpses, how 'bout 'Walkers'. Since they walk, y'get it?” 

 

“That's a great name, babe!” Lauren spoke, hiccuping after her words. “Doesn’t sound bad” I added in. There were a couple of the 'walkers' in the woods ahead of us, I started to watch their silhouettes wander aimlessly. “What d'you think we'd be doin' right now? If this wasn't happenin'?” I turned my head to Devin and Lauren.

 

“I'd probably still be high off my ass on th'couch, while you an' Nate play fought.” Devin chuckled, “Where did Nate go? I don't remember 'im leavin'.” Oh, that's right. Nate left us, without saying a word. _Asshole_. “He left when shit started goin' down.”

 

“Ugh, I just remembered, I had a hair appointment tomorrow!” Lauren said as she grabbed her frizzy, ginger hair. “I was gonna get it relaxed!”, she dramatically sighed and tilted her head up at the sky. She brought her head back down and went wide eyed, “Look, over there...that a kid?”. She pointed over to the tiny 'walker' slowly moving around near the trees.

 

Jesus, there was a child....a child walker. “Christ, this world really is goin' to shit.” I aimed the gun at the child walker, shaking, I felt so sorry for the kid. Whoever they were, I hope they lived a happy life. I looked over at Devin and Lauren, conflicted on if I should shoot or not.

 

“Stop bein' a pussy an' shoot it already!” Lauren yelled at me, taking a chug from her bottle. _BANG –_ shit,her yelling startled me and I accidentally pulled the trigger. A blood curdling gurgle permeated the air, accompanied by a small thump. 

 

_Farah?! When did she come out?!_

 

I stopped breathing as I tried getting up but my vision blurred, and I stumbled back down. I saw a big figure walk past me, heading for Farah. It was Rodney. “Rod, i'm so sor – “ He started to growl and moan as he got closer to her gurgling body, “...R-Rod?” _No_ , I know what comes after this, _Please no_. I managed to get on my feet and started to approach them, tears pouring out of my eyes. This _can't_ be happening.

 

CHOMP – I saw the blood pool around her tiny body, the gurgling got louder. Her legs were kicking frantically, eyes rolling back as her back arches. I could hear her breathe in harshly, she turned her head at the last second, watching me as she took her final breath. Rod continued to tear her tiny body apart, I froze up, unable to move my arms to shoot him.

 

The sound of something falling caught my attention. I turned my head to see Quinn running over, dropping the firewood in the process. “Give me the fuckin' gun!” she shouted as she snatched the pistol out of my hand and then – _BANG_ , What used to be Rod's body went crashing down. She knelt down, staring in absolute disbelief at what was in front of her. She looked up at me, eyes glazing over in pure rage, “What the fuck happened?” I stared in fear, unable to speak a single word, “WHAT. DID. YOU. DO!?" she shouted as she grabbed me by the hood.

 

“I-I...I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to...” I can't get the words out, I can't _breathe_. “I th-thought she was a walker....please.” tears were blinding me.

 

Her voice was dripping with bitterness, “Please? Are you tryin' to beg for forgiveness? After murdering my fuckin' child?!” she put the gun up to my head, “I outta blow yer fuckin' brains out, you monster!” I felt her pressing the gun to my head even harder, “I want you to get whatever shit you have and _leave_!” she let go of my hood, but still kept the gun pointed at me. “I don't want to hear another word from you.”.

 

“Quinn, please –“ _click....._ The gun must've been empty. Her face contorted into a look of despair. I turned away and walked over to the car, on my way there I looked at Devin and Lauren, Devin was holding Lauren as she cried onto him. I went into the car and grabbed my mix CD from the glove department, shutting the door for the last time.

 

“I want to be _alone_.” Quinn stated, looking down at Devin and Lauren. They got the hint, getting up and going over to me. We started to head down the road, looking back one last time I saw Farah start to move. Quinn picked up a piece of the firewood, hitting Farah in the head a couple times. I felt an arm go around me, “C'mon dude, let's go...let's just go.” Devin was trying his best to comfort me while we walked, trying to crack jokes to make me laugh, but I feel like I won't be okay for a while. I am still crying, shaking, I am still broken. I just...don't want to exist for a while.

 

– – – **9 Months Later** – – –

“Look, found 'nother one!” Devin called to me as we were checking our traps, we've been out checking 'em for about an hour. They were doin' pretty well too, we caught 3 rabbits by now. Devin lifted up another dead rabbit and excitedly claimed, “We really hit th'jackpot today!” It was early in the day, a couple hours after dawn. I was so tired, I have always been and always will be a light sleeper, but it's like sleep never happens now-a-days. “Let's head back an' show Laur our haul!”

 

On our walk back I could spot Lauren with something in her hand, a knife? She raised the knife to her head and...chopped off her hair? She was cutting her hair short, looked nice on her. “Aw, don' ya look cute wit' short hair!” Devin laughed, sitting down on a log. “I look like a boy, don' I?” she giggled, “I couldn' stand how greasy it was gettin'. Ya want me to cut yours, James?” I just stared at her, I haven't talked since _that_ night with Quinn.

 

The smell of fire was in the air, I sat down on the same log as Devin and silently started peeling the skin off of one of the rabbits we recently caught, “James, yer gonn' have to talk sometime.” Lauren stated, crossing her arms and staring me in the eye. No I won't. I like it better this way. “Come on, you ain't even thinkin' of us while you're doin' this! Ya think we want a mute who can't be trusted with a gun?!”

 

Those last words really stuck to my brain, looking down I tried to collect myself, show no signs of emotion. I was better this way, I was being stronger this way. “Laur, leave 'im alone, he doesn't wanna talk so don' make 'im.” Devin told her, “Can't even imagine that happenin' to me...” he continued as he peeled the skin off the rabbit.

 

“It wouldn't, because yer more _responsible_ than some people.” Lauren's little comments were driving me insane, she has been nothing but hateful since _that_ night. Blaming me for everything that goes wrong, but hell, maybe I am the reason for everything that goes wrong.

 

“Laur! Th'fucks yer problem?! Leave th'poor guy alone, he's been through enough already!” Devin has been sticking up for me this whole time, glad to see he's still a friend. Honestly, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. Lauren wanted to leave me behind, shocking, I know. Maybe they should've, all I am is a liability.

 

“Been through enough?! He fuckin' killed Farah, how can ya forgive him?!” Lauren was getting in Devin's face, screaming loudly, I was honestly interested in what his answer would be.

 

“Yer actin' like he went up to th'kid and shot 'er on purpose!” Devin put his rabbit down and stood up, getting close to Lauren's face.

 

“He didn' ask for this, nobody did! You aren't helpin' make this easier!” Devin finished, I could hear the faint sounds of growling and moaning in the distance.

 

“Listen, it's fuckin' me or him!” Lauren was furious, “I can't take this anymore, who's it gonna be?!” The sound of the walkers was getting closer. I turned my head to look at how many there was, I really wish I hadn't done that, because there was at least a dozen heading our way.


	4. Retrograde

# Chapter 4: Retrograde

 

“Laur, y'know I can' pick between you two!” Devin yelled, holding Lauren's arms, “Please, don' make me.” his voice quiet, full of desperation. “Ya either come wit' me or not.” Lauren's face became bitter, “I'm not gonn' wait forever, Dev.” she moved her arms away, knocking Devin's arms off of her own.

 

I was panicking, their arguing was attracting more and more of them, _how did they not notice this_?! “Ghh–....” I tried to yell at them, but my throat was too dry to budge. I grabbed Devin desperately by his jacket, shaking him. “What?!” Devin turned his head towards me, his gaze lifted to behind me, “Holy shit...” That's when I heard a loud yelp sound from Lauren.  
  


“Get offa me!” she screamed as the walker had her grabbed from the back. She took her knife, stabbing it in the eye, then pulling out. The knife didn't go all the way through, causing the walker to continue and bite down on Lauren's cheek, tearing most of it off. “Get it off, get it off!” she dropped her knife, trying to use her hands in a desperate attempt to push the walker off. _How did it get so close?!_  
  


“Laur!” Devin ran over, prying the walker off and pushing it onto the ground, stomping its head in. He cupped the non-bitten side of Lauren's face, “Laur, you in there?!” Her face was blank, lifeless even, but Lauren herself was still there. “Laur, _please_.” he pleaded, voice cracking. I didn't want to admit it, but we had to go, the walkers were getting closer.

 

One tried grabbing me, but I pushed it down, trying to replicate what Devin did. It didn't work, I just wasn't strong enough for it. Devin ran over and gave it a final stomp, finishing the job. I watched as he knocked down other walkers, and I tried to stall some others while he stomped them. I looked over at Lauren and nearly gagged.

 

The bite was _deep_ , the inside of her mouth was showing, blood gushing out and pouring all over her top half. I ran over to her while Devin finished up stomping the walkers. Her breathing was shallow and heavy, I tried to talk to her, say I'm sorry, but my throat just wasn't ready. I held her hand, taking the knife off the ground while doing so. “Dude, we gotta get th'fuck outta here, I'm gonn' grab 'er and we'll meet up somewhere, 'kay?” Devin suddenly spoke up, breathing heavily from his previous activities. 

 

I nodded, standing up and putting the knife in my pocket. I walked over and gave Devin a small hug, he whispered “Good luck.” I started running, as fast as my legs could take me, I didn't know where I was going but I was going to get there.

 

While running I could hear a faint “Get th'fuck off!”, I hope Devin's alright.

I ran for hours, my legs ached to the point of collapsing, I finally got out of the woods and onto the road. It was late noon by now, guessing by where the sun now was. I slowed my pace and started to walk slowly, surprised by how calm I felt. Yet, this feeling wasn't calmness, it was numbness. I was cold and numb, lifeless yet still living.

 

I found something resembling an old trashcan, and decided to search through it, I was so hungry...rummaging around, I found a book and a pencil. Who would leave this behind? I'll take it with me to write in. I kept rummaging and after a couple minutes I found a can.

 

It was a can of mini ravioli, not the yummiest but it's still food. I sat next to the trashcan, stabbing the can lid with my knife, popping it off. I started scooping them into my mouth, I was right, they are not the yummiest when cold. This reminded me of Devin, he would eat stuff like this cold, I never understood that. I sighed.

….Let's hope we find each other soon.   
  


**– – 18 months later – –**

I started walking down the road, throat sore from not having a drink in days, stomach hurting from not eating enough. I was going to die if I didn't find something soon...

 

While hobbling down the road I spotted a cooler, finally, I could eat. I start hobbling faster, reaching my hand out and opening the cooler.

 

_Nothing._   
  


I kicked the cooler and sat down, grabbing my stomach, begging for this to end. I sat there, slowly falling asleep. I could hear growling behind me as I started to drift off. Something grabbed my shoulder, turning around caused it to fall on me. It was a walker, I struggled, trying my best to keep it off of me. It bit at my vest, trying to devour me. I held it off with my one arm, reaching for my knife with the other, as the walker got closer and closer to my skin I grabbed the knife, stabbing it repeatedly in the head, killing it.

 

I got back up and continued down the road, with each step my numbness faded. I could feel again, emotions started to flood in. Flashbacks struck me, Rod as a walker, Farah's mangled body, Quinn smashing the wood into Farah's reanimated corpse, Lauren's face, Devin's broken voice. I couldn't take it, it was coming back too fast.

 

The gurgling, the blood, the eyes rolling back. It was as if it was happening right in front of me. I knelt down, the legs kicking, the back arching, her final breath. I screamed, my throat felt as if it was tearing apart, but I couldn't stop now. I've held this back for years, I couldn't stop. I screamed and screamed, “DEVIN!” I cried, tears flowing, “I'M SORRY!” I clenched my fists, pounding the ground. “FARAH, I'M SO SORRY!” I tried to continue, but my throat finally gave out. 

 

Shaking, I took my diary out of my bag I found a while ago on a walker, I started to write, my handwriting sloppy and hurried.

  
  


_If you're reading this, My name was James._

_I was 22 years old, I think._

_I loved life, before this._

_I had friends, family._

_It's all gone._

_I'm gone._

  
  


I put the diary back into my bag, and laid there. My screaming must have attracted walkers, I hope it did, I was calling for death. I could hear it, in the forms of growls and moans, it was here to take me away. I could feel them getting closer, I closed my eyes. I could hear something going down the road...a car? Soon there was the sound of gunshots, the walkers around me started to fall, I opened my eyes. Turning my head towards the car, the person pulled up beside me, rolling down their window.

 

“You bit?” his 'sincere' voice seemed very...forced. I shook my head no, confused on what was going on. “Good, get in the fuckin' car then.”, his voice was a bit harsh, it doesn't sound like I have a choice. Then again I would just die out here. I got up and hobbled over to the car slowly, trying not to trip on my own feet. “Hurry the fuck up before I change my mind!” I clasped the handle to the door, opening it and sitting down, slamming the door shut.  
  


The man threw something onto my lap, a bottle of water and an apple. Fruit? That's not canned? Oh my _god_. I opened the water bottle, pressing it to my lips, guzzling the water down as fast as I could. This felt like heaven, I drank too fast, causing me to cough and gag on it. “Whoa, don't drown yerself now.” the man chuckled a bit. I looked over at him, “I-...I'm James.” I spoke softly, my throat was still scratchy, but it was better than it has been in months. I started to scarf down the apple, I haven't had fresh fruit in years.  
  


“Name's Troy.” Hmm, Troy, not a bad name. I pulled out my diary, making a new entry. _Troy, nice guy. Saved me, Brought food_. this is really all I knew about him right now. He turned his head towards the book for a second, “What ya writin'?”. Well this was weird, do I say I'm writing about him? “Just keepin' track of names.” I mumbled awkwardly.

 

“So, what the fuck were you doing back there?” Good question, what _was_ I doing back there? “I'm not...really sure myself.” I answered, scratching my shaggy greasy hair. “You, uh, had a group?” I looked over at him, _had_. “Um, yeah, it got broken up though.”

 

“Hmmm, can you lift?” I looked over at him, confused. “Lift? Like labor an' stuff? Yeah, I can do some of that. Not the best at it though.”. Troy scratched his neck, “Well ya better be fuckin' good, you're probably gonna be doin' lots of labor. Earning your keep an' all.”  
  


I couldn't see any buildings or tents for miles, “It doesn't seem like yer camp is close.”, Troy awkwardly shifted in his seat, “Yeah, it's a good 45 minutes or more away.”. He sniffed the air and looked at me for a second, then back to the road, “Y'know, you smell like fuckin' shit, gotta get ya cleaned up when we get there. Wouldn't want you stinkin' up the place.” Oh my god, I can _bathe_ too?! This place sounds great.  
  


Leaning back into the seat, I decided to try to catch some sleep, something I haven't done in a while. I hope this place is as great as it seems.


	5. New Recruit

# Chapter 5: New Recruit

 

I opened my eyes, I wasn't in the car, or on the road I was just on. I was at...Gil's Pit stop? When did I get here? I searched around, seeing a small silhouette near the road. I started to cautiously walk towards it. It looked like a little girl, “...Farah?”, I whispered out to it. It turned around, I was greeted with the big brown eyes of none other than my Farah. I ran over, hugging her tightly, tears started flowing from my eyes. “I'm scared...” was the first thing she said, I felt something warm and wet flow onto me, coating me. _Blood_. It was _blood_. I jumped back, seeing blood drip down her neck, onto everything. I started to shake, make this blood stop, _please_ –SLAM.

 

I was brought back to consciousness by the sound of a door shutting, we seemed to be here. The sign read “Howe's Hardware”, holy shit, this place was huge. Troy went inside, should I just get out, or should I wait? I don't want to be weird. Troy came back with two women, “You gonna get out? Or do you need me to hold the fuckin' door for you too?” Aw man, this wasn't a good first impression, was it? I quickly got out of the car, politely shutting the door. “Uh, h-hello.”

 

The ginger woman eyeballed me up in down, “Well aren't you just a bag of bones, we need to get a good meal in you. I'm Bonnie.” she held out her hand, walking over I went up to her and shook hands. She seemed pretty nice. Looked a lot like Lauren....

 

“Shouldn't we wait for Bill to come back before lettin' him in?” The other woman said, she didn't sound as friendly as the rest of them. I understood though, guessing that Bill is the leader, why they would want to wait, but to be honest I wanted to get in _now_. They had water, food, shelter, all the things I don't have. I looked over at Troy, waiting to hear his reaction. 

 

“Why the fuck wouldn't he want more people working?”, Troy's voice got harsher every time he spoke. He had a point though, from what I can gather they like workers, I'm a worker. I might be weak now but I sure as hell can be strong, not that silent stuff either, I can actually be strong. “Follow me.” is all he said and he turned and head into the big building.

 

This place is  _huge_ , and there's ton of food in here! “So, uh, where we goin'?” I was dying to get a shower. “C-Can I get a shower maybe...?” I felt like I was being a pest, but Troy was right, I  _do_ smell like shit. He turned around, staring for a second, and continuing to walk. I wonder what that meant? 

 

We walked for a while, and Troy opened a door, it lead to the outside, but the outside was blocked off by boards and fences. “Shower's over here.” he stopped walking. There was shower heads coming out o the walls, sorta like the ones you see at the beach. I walked up to one, peeling off my old clothes. I got my hoodie and vest off, that's when I turned around. Troy was still there, “Um, do you need to stand there?”, I have to admit, this was pretty fucking uncomfortable. He frowned at me, “Just get your fuckin' shower.”.

 

While slipping off my pants I grabbed the knife out of them. My hair has gotten out of control, I raised it up to the back of my neck, chopping off a good couple of inches. Next I trimmed my body hair, this sure wasn't attractive. I chopped off a bunch of hair from my body, cutting myself a couple times, I was already feeling cleaner and I haven't even showered yet. “Hurry the fuck up.” Troy yelled from behind me, forgetting he was there I jumped a tiny bit. I twisted the knob and warm water started flowing out onto me, this was great, despite being watched. I scrubbed all the dirt out off of me, all the dried blood, all my worries were going down the drain.

 

I spotted a tiny bar of soap on a ledge, so I picked it up, scrubbing my body and hair with it. I turned my head to see if Troy was still there, he wasn't. That's weird. I rinsed off and went to pick up my clothes.... They're gone. What the fuck. I guess I'll just sit and wait? The door busted open, I covered myself hoping it was just Troy, it was. “Here, wear this.” he threw a shirt, underwear, and a pair of jogging pants. I quickly started getting dressed, being naked in front of people is weird, the shirt was too big and so were the pants. “Your clothes are getting' washed. C'mon, I'll show you where you're sleepin'.” 

 

I followed Troy back in and saw him heading for a giant shutter door, is that where I'm sleeping? He opened it and sure enough there were beds and other people in there, two men and a woman. “Go on, get the fuck inside. I'll come to get you for supper, Bonnie's idea.” I walked in and he shut the door behind me. One of the men walked up to me, he...was missing an arm.

 

“Hi, I'm James.” I smiled, pulling up my sleeve, damn this shirt is big. “Hey, I'm Reggie. Come on, I'll show you around” He seemed really nice, but at the same time I feel like this wasn't real. “Over here are the bunks, pick whichever you want.” I put my bag up on the second to last top bunk, I liked being up high. 

 

I looked over to the man and woman sitting across the room, “Who're they?”. 

 

“The guy is Mike, he's pretty cool when he isn't tired.” he leaned in closer, whispering into my ear, “The girl is Jane, she's  _weird_ .” Weird? What's considered weird anymore? 

 

The door lifted up, and in walked Troy, was it supper time already? Wow. “C'mon Sleeping Beauty, time to eat.” I walked up to him, “Sleepin' Beauty?” We walked out of the pen, heading for who knows where they eat,“Yeah, you were sleeping up a storm in the car.” he chuckled, opening the double doors, there was  _a lot_ of people in here. 

 

“Everybody, this is James, he's our new recruit!” Bonnie stood up and yelled out, looking at me she said “We'll introduce you to everyone properly later. Come sit down.” I sat over with Bonnie, Troy sitting with us, that one lady Tavia wasn't here though. I stared down at the plates and bowls, it was grilled cheeses and tomato soup. _Wow_ , but how do they have cheese..and bread? I searched around, and saw a bunch of empty cans of “canned cheese” and “canned bread”. 

 

“Thank you.” I peeked up at Bonnie, smiling. I started to eat the sandwich, sure it tasted weird, but I haven't eaten this well in years. The soup still tasted really good, reminds me of when I was sick as a kid. I could hear somebody say “Ugh, he looks like _such_ a tool.” I turned my head to see who said that, it was a little girl. A tool? What does that even mean? –BANG the doors flew open, an older guy came walking in, had a nice fur coat.

 

Bonnie turned her head over to the man and said “Welcome back, Bill.”. He searched the room, “So, I heard we have a new recruit. Everybody get back to work, I want to have a talk with him.” he walked up, taking a seat across from me, I hope this doesn't go bad. 

 

“So, what's your name?” he asked while holding out his hand, I grabbed his hand and shook it “I-I'm James, sir.”. “I'm William Carver, but you know, I liked that "sir" thing you had going. Keep it up.” Staring him in the eyes I gave him a semi-confident, “Yessir.”.

 

“So, James, where are your people at?” I looked away from his eyes, tilting my head down and slumping my shoulders, “We got...separated, over the years.”. Carver leaned back, looking me up and down, “What brought you here?” this guy sure had a lot of questions, but I would too if I was him. “Troy brought me here, I was dyin' on the side of the road.” I scratched the back of my head, smiling, this guy was intimidating but he didn't seem bad. “Well James, I'll let you go, I have....business to attend to.” he got up and started walking away.

 

Curiosity got the better of me “What business?” Carver turned around and stared at me, shit I'm being nosy, “S-Sorry, Sir! I just– ” I got cut off by him, “It's okay, since you asked I'm finding some old  _friends_ .” he said as he walked out. 

 

Troy came walking back in soon after, “Come on, it's time for bed.” I started giggling, I couldn't help it. “What's so fuckin' funny?” I walked over, still giggling, “Ya sound like my mom.” Opening the door, Troy sighed, “Shut the fuck up and come on.” I was so pushing it, “Whatever ya say,  _mom.”_ . 

 

We approached the gate to the pen, Troy shoved me in, “Everybody go the fuck to sleep, big day ahead of ya.” I looked back before he shut the gate and waved, smiling “G'night Troy.”. He replied with a small “Yeah.” and shut the gate.

 

I head over to my bed, climbing onto it, everybody was already laying down. I grabbed my bag and took out my diary.

 

_Today was good, I got food, clothes, a shower. I met new people, possible friends._

_Carver talked about finding some old friends, I'm excited to meet them._

_Well, lots of work tomorrow, I better sleep._

 

I closed the book, putting it back in my bag and laid down, drifting off into sleep.


	6. Old Friends

# Chapter 6: Old Friends

I opened my eyes, everything felt wet. I was underwater, more like I was being _held_ underwater, in a tub perhaps? I couldn't breathe, my eyes searched around in the water. I saw a figure of a man, I could faintly hear him saying “Don't worry JJ, I'll clean you up.” The water was red...why? Water filled my lungs, but I lived, this was the luxury of dreaming. My legs were flailing on their own, I couldn't stop them. I had an urge to come up, and see who the man was. I started lifting my head, –CRACK, my head came crashing down onto the tubs bottom, a rugged hand covering my face. I heard a scream echo through the room, it sounded like a child. The hand left my face as I heard what I would assume to be the man say “You lil' shit, get back 'ere!” while he ran away. I went to sit up.

 

Sitting up from my bed, I grabbed my chest, making sure I could breathe alright. I looked around the pen, by the color of the sky it seemed like it was dawn. I got out of my bed quietly, sitting at a table, nobody was awake yet, except for the walkers. The walkers are always awake, waiting to sink their teeth into –“What the fuck are you doin' up?” I jumped, turning around with my eyebrows raised, it was Troy. 

 

“O-Oh, good morning, Troy! I woke up a lil' bit ago...” I held the back of my neck, smiling at the disgruntled man. My eyes wandered, noticing something in his hands, my clothes and a toolbox. “Oh, were ya bringin' them back? Thanks man.” I got up, walking over to Troy, he pushed the clothes into my arms. He stared me in the eyes, “Get changed, you're gonna get to work since yer up early.” Do I really have to strip in front of him _again_? Whatever. I took off my new pants, putting on my old clean ones, and threw on my hoodie over my new shirt. My hair was a mess from sleeping, I pulled a hair band from my arm, tying my hair up into a small ponytail. 

 

Troy walked me out of the pen, “Listen up, golden boy, it's time you prove your worth. I need you to help secure the fence.” We headed outside, the smell of walkers filled the air, nothing new. “Over here.” is all he said as he walked up to what seemed to be a hole in the bottom of the fence. This should be easy, my step-dad was a carpenter, so I should be great at this...right? Troy interrupted my train of thoughts by saying “I'll be on lookout on the roof, call me if you _have_ to.” and walking away. I opened the toolbox, there was a saw, a hammer, a screw driver, and some nails. I searched around for something to patch the fence with, until I saw some planks on the ground behind me, when did these get here? These were way too long to just nail on, I had to saw them in half I guess. I knelt down with the saw, moving it back and forth onto the plank, sawing it in half. This wasn't  _too_ hard, I grabbed another plank, starting to saw it in half. Until  _something_ grabbed my foot. 

 

I turned my head, a walker had managed to crawl half way through the hole and  _grabbed_ me. I pulled back my leg, causing the walker to get pulled along a tiny bit. It was flailing around, stuck in the hole, I caught my breath and watched it. Standing up, shaking harshly, lifted my leg and crashed it hard onto the walkers head. It grabbed my leg again, I didn't kill it in one stomp, I started to thrash my leg around, panicking. My leg was freed, in a state of panic I started stomping the head harder, tears forming in my eyes. It stopped flailing, it was dead....I tried catching my breath. Almost puking from all the blood it had created, it made me dizzy, I grabbed it by the arms and pulled it inside the fence. I had to patch this before another walker decides to stop by, I started to nail the planks to the fence, I heard footsteps.

 

Looking over I saw Bonnie walking up, two water bottles in her hands, “G'morning James, you holdin' up okay?” her gaze turned to the now fully dead walker on the ground next to me, “Oh, my god...”. I looked up at her, still shaken. “Here, I'll finish this, you go help Jane in the greenhouse.” she handed over a bottle of water, I nodded spurting out a quick “Thank you.” grabbing the bottle and walking off. So, greenhouse, where would that be? I opened the door to the inside, bumping into whoever was trying to walk out, _shit_. 

 

It was a guy I haven't met yet, he has a beard and glasses, “Hey, dude, Troy as just lookin' for you. I'll show you over.” We walked through the building in silence until he spoke up, “I'm Wyatt by the way, you're James, right?” I watched him,smiling, “Yeah, nice to meet ya.”. We arrived at a set of stairs, “Troy's up on the roof, I gotta get to work. See ya dude.” Wyatt waved behind him as he walked off.

 

I turned back to the steps, walking up, with a skip in my step. I felt good about today, even if it didn't start off well. I'm gonna finally meet this Jane chick, so that's something. I opened the door, I was on the roof now. I saw Troy near a tiny glass structure, I skipped over to him, “You okay, Troy?”. He glared up at me, his usual annoyed glare painted his face. “Saw ya couldn't finish the fence, so you're up here.” He pointed to the glass structure, guess that was the greenhouse. I just nodded, Bonnie already told me this, I was sort of confused though, I asked “So, what'm I doin' in there?” Troy rolled his eyes, “Pickin' berries, cutting dead branches. Easy shit.” I gave a simple “Okay.” and went to open the door. Before I did Troy grabbed my shoulder, “Yer gonna be alone for a while, so you better get used to be treated normally. No more pampered bullshit.” I looked at him, confusion taking over, “Whaddya mean 'alone'?” Where were they going? “Carver, Bonnie, Tavia and me are goin' to get some members back. Shitheads you haven't met. We're leavin' in a bit, be back in a couple days though.” he just walked off after that, he's probably talking about the old friends Carver was talking about. I shrugged it off, nothing I can do 'bout it, opening the greenhouse door.

 

Jane was cutting berries off one of the plants, she looked up at me, giving me this intimidating glare. I muttered out a “H-Hey there...name's James.” before going to the other table of plants, picking up a pair of gardening shears. I started cutting the berries off carefully, this felt like it was going to be time consuming. “So...how long have ya been here?” I asked, turning my head to Jane. She stared at me, then went back to working on her plants. I looked at my plant, cutting off berries, taking off the occasional dead branch. “Not much of a talker, are ya?” She glared up at me, annoyed. I laughed nervously, “Hey, I didn't say that was a bad thing. I bet yer really nice when people get to know ya.” The awkward small talk I was trying to create soon died out, leaving us to just finish our work.

 

It took us around 2 hours to cut all of the plants, I cut the last berry off my plant, same time as Jane. The door opened, a guy walked in, I think Reggie said his name is Mike? “Time to eat, you guys done in here?” We both nodded, heading down to the pen, as I walked down I waved to Wyatt, it was nice meeting new people. We got into the pen to see Reggie sitting at the fire, eating...canned green beans? Sounds good enough to me, I grabbed a bowl and sat down next to him. I started to scarf green beans into my mouth, they only tasted  _sort of_ weird, Mike sat down with us but Jane went to eat in the corner near her bed. Reggie spoke up, “Mike, I don't think I introduced you to James. He's the new guy.” 

 

Mike chuckled, “Yeah, I saw him finishing up with Troy earlier. You into that frou frou shit?” he scooped up more food into his mouth. Finishing up? 'Frou frou'? What the hell did any of that mean? “I- Uh....no?” I hope that was the right answer. I silently ate my green beans, listening to Mike and Reggie talk, I turned my head to look at Jane. She was curled up on her bed, just laying there. I started to yawn, it was time for me to turn in too, “I'm gonn' head to bed, g'night guys.” I said as I headed up to my bed. Opening my diary to write as usual. 

 

“ _Troy and the others left today, to look for some 'old members', He seemed more agitated today._

_ I met one of the guards, Wyatt. He was pretty cool, reminded me of Devin sorta.  _

_ I wonder if Bill's friends are a bunch of old white guys, maybe they were all golfing buddies. _

_ Probably not. Well, I have a long couple days ahead, so I'll be heading in now.”  _

 

I put the diary back in my bag, laying down on my stomach. I pulled my hood up, and drifted off into sleep. 

 

** \--5 Days Later-- **

 

It's been a hard 5 days, we've been working on a new expansion, and lets just say it's been hard keeping walkers out. Mike nearly got bitten trying to help me cover up the windows, thank god I was around to help, not to brag or anything. Yesterday Wyatt managed to sneak in some playing cards into here, I'd ask Mike but he's tired. He's _super_ cranky when he's tired. Reggie 'Wasn't in the mood' and, well, Jane is Jane. So now I'm up in my bed, tryin' to make a sweet ass card castle.

 

“ _We've got some familiar faces back with us tonight._

 

_ Now, I understand some of you are confused as to why we'd bring these people back when they left us as they did. _

 

_ It might not come all at once...but time will heal these wounds...so be patient with them until it does...and take solace in knowing that they're here to help us make our home a better place.  _

 

_ All these feelings you have of anger...betrayal...hate...they're all valid.  _

 

_ No one needs to forget what they did...but we do have to find it in our hearts to forgive them. _

 

_ As many of you already know...a large herd of lurkers gathers just south of us...we've kept an – ” _

 

Wait, what? Are these folks not good? Forgive them? What did they do? Oh man, these probably aren't old golfing buddies. 

 

My focus went onto Reggie, he was pacing back and forth. Mike and Jane didn't seem to care, it was late and they were probably tired to be honest. The door lifted up, Troy, Bonnie, and Tavia walked in with 6 people. I waved to Troy and Bonnie, of course Troy didn't wave. Bonnie did at least. Deciding to humor myself I wrote down my down my first impressions of the people who walked in. 

 

“ _There was a pregnant lady, at least I think she's pregnant, sure as hell not going to ask._

 

_ Another lady too, I think she's Indian, looks like a soccer mom. _

 

_ And then a little girl, had a cool hat, she looks pretty young. Maybe 10? 12? Dunno.  _

 

_ Next to her was another girl, she looked older than the other girl, early teens I guess. Ah man, I miss those days.  _

 

_ Some older guy was standing around, looked familiar. Had a nice beard and stache combo goin.  _

 

_ The last person was some guy, had a halo hat on. I never got to play that, looked cool. He's pretty good looking for being in this shit for years. Just sayin though, nothing wrong with complimenting another guy.”  _

 

Oh shit, the last guy was coming over, I closed my diary and put it in my bag. Nervously sitting there, the guy crawled into the bunk bed below me. I heard him sigh, poor guy sounded sad, I decided to peek over to take a look at him. He must've felt me watching at him because he opened his eyes, staring up at me confused. “Uh– Hey there, I'm James...What's yer name?” damn, this was embarrassing, the guy _caught_ me staring at him. “I'm Nick...” he closed his eyes again, rolling over. 

“So, um....h-how are ya..?” I knew this was a stupid question, he clearly wasn't okay, he clenched his jaw and furrowed his eyebrows. He was visibly annoyed, I could hear one of the little girls talking to Mike.

 

“Will you _please_ talk to me?” the tinier girl said, I started to laugh softly. I yelled over to the girl, “Yer not gonn' get nothin' from Mike when he's tired, darlin'.” that's when she started to walk over, she looked skeptically at me. Maybe she didn't trust me, hell _I_ wouldn't trust me. Children are so fragile and easy to hurt on accident, god let's not think of that now,...I gulped, getting down from my bunk and standing in front of the girl. “Hello lil' lady, what happens to be yer name?” I held my hand out, “I'm Clementine.” she returned my handshake, with a firm grip.

 

“Ooh, strong grip ya got there, Clementine, my daddy always said strong grip means a strong person. I'm James.” I smiled, I missed my dad. My _step_ dad. Clementine pulled her hand away and looked at me, “Um...thanks?” She turned her head back to the people that walked in with her, then back to me, “Want to come meet the rest of us?” her face had a genuine smile, it was pretty heart warming. “Sure thing, darlin'.” we started to walk over to the others, I was so _so_ nervous but I had a skip in my step.

 

The pregnant lady turned towards me, her face scrunching up “Who's _this_?”. My eyes widened, oh man, Reggie didn't tell them about me? 

 

“I-I'm James, n-nice to meet y'all.” my eyes wandered to the older man with the hat, he really did look familiar. The door to the pen suddenly lifted up, causing me to jump a bit, in walked Troy and yet another man I didn't know. 

 

The older girl yelled, “Dad!”, and went running for the man, hugging him. 

 

Troy watched the two hug, his eyes seemed to soften for a moment but soon going back to their stern gaze, he started to speak “All right,go the fuck to sleep. I'm shootin' the first one of y'all I see up wanderin' around before sun-up.”.

 

I tried to walk towards Troy, “Wait, Tr–” I was cut off by him yelling, “Everybody get to bed!” and slamming down the door. I sighed, heading to my bunk like everybody else.

 

I took my diary back out, writing about my two newest acquaintances. 

 

“ _Clementine, looks like a strong little girl. Reminds me of Farah...._

 

_ Nick, seems like a sad guy, not very talkative. Then again I did ask shit questions. _

 

_ I'll try to get to know the others tomorrow, hopefully I get to work with Wy in the morning. Goodnight.” _

 

I turned over onto my stomach, drifting off into sleep. Trying not to let thoughts get to me, hoping I wouldn't have another dream of a man drowning me. That was messed up. Slowly the darkness took me, letting me rest.


	7. King Of Hearts

# Chapter 7: King Of Hearts

 

I could feel something warm, _somebody_ warm sitting next to me. I rubbed my eyes, slowly opening them. In my blurred vision I could make out a person, a little girl. Farah. She was staring intently at the bunks next to me, “Who is she?” she turned her head to me, tilting it to the side. I sat up, turning my attention to the person Farah had in question. Who I saw was sweet little Clementine, curled up in her bunk, “That's Clementine, hon'. She's new here.”. Farah looked down at her feet, then back to me “...Is she your friend?”, this seemed weird, I answered “I...guess so?” the warm turned into cold, turning my head, I saw that Farah was gone. “I was your friend too...” echoed through my mind, suddenly a loud noise woke me.

 

It was snoring. I turned over, peeking down to see who it was making the loud noise. The older man at the last bunks mouth hung wide open. Being a light sleeper sucked, I wake up to the smallest sounds. I pulled my hood over my head, trying to block out the noise, slipping off into sleep again. I was plunged into the red water again, this dream again. I knew why I had this dream, whether I wanted to block this out or not. The man holding me down, my father, was not very...kind. No, that's an understatement. My father, Joesph Carson Lesmer, was a very violent man.

 

My mom would always tell me to go in the other room when he'd come home. I never knew why, but now I do. One day I was alone with him, my mom at work, he asked if I wanted to play a game. Being a child I was excited and accepted...the rest was a blur until I reached the tub. He went on and on about how I was so dirty, and how I needed to be 'cleaned'. I nearly gave in, until Devin caught him, screaming. The only evidence I have of this now is the scar on my bottom lip, I remember Devin would tell me how cool it looked...

 

I opened my eyes, seeing the sun rise peek through metal bars, I hopped out of bed and headed for the door, waiting for Wyatt. I paced around the door for what seemed like hours, then it opened. “Dude, you're up already?” Wyatt was there with Russell, I walked out of the pen shutting the door behind me.

 

Laughing I answered him, “I told ya man, I always wake up early.”, looking over at Russell I questioned him, smiling, “You chillin' with us this mornin', Russ?”.

 

He looked over to me, “Yeah man, what do you guys even  _do_ in the mornings?”, Russell wasn't extremely friendly yet he wasn't very hostile. I laughed lightly, “Well, last time we talked 'bout before we came here... Did you have anybody with ya before comin' here?”. 

 

Russell's face changed slightly, cringing in disgust. He started to speak, “I was with this guy...”. He continued off, “His name was Nate, that guy was a fucking sociopath.”. Nate? No no no, it couldn't be.

 

I had to know, “Russ, did this guy happen to have a truck? Or a hat? Really buggy eyes?” Russell face froze up, he remained silent, “C'mon, Russ, I need to know if that's my man....”.

 

He spoke up, “Yeah...yeah, that sounds like him.”. Oh my god, I swear if I ever see that asshole I'm gonna punch him.

 

“Hey guys, remember your pal Wyatt?” Looking over I saw an annoyed Wyatt. “Do you know when you're getting out the pen? Troy would beat our asses if we ever got caught doing this.”.

 

I crossed my arms, leaning on my one leg. “I haven't gotten a word in with Troy since he got back, so I dunno man.” That's when I heard footsteps, lots of them, with the sound of Troy's voice in the distance.

 

“Shit, C'mon.” Russell spurted out, basically throwing me back into the pen. I went to turn my head forward, and was greeted by four people staring at me. The pregnant lady, the indian soccer mom, that one girls dad, and Nick all sitting at a table together. I silently sat down next to Nick, occasionally looking over to him and the pregnant lady on the other side of the table.

 

“Hey, um, are ya...Clem's mom?” I asked the pregnant woman, her face scrunched up, as if she was offended. She questioned me back with a “Why? 'Cause I'm black?”. Oh jeez, I really got myself into this. “Jesus, no, ya look really...'motherly' is all.” I hung my head in embarrassment.

 

“Oh, well...I _am_ going to be a mother soon...You said your name is James, right? I'm Rebecca...sorry for givin' you shit.” she seemed nice, maybe hostile at first, but that is good these days. She looked down, holding her stomach, whispering “Oh, Alvin...you were supposed to be here...”. I didn't know what to say, so I backed down from the conversation. After a few minutes Rebecca looked up at Nick.

 

“Where is Luke? It's been days, Nick.” Rebecca sounded worried, who is Luke? Nick sighed looking up at Rebecca, he put his hands on his head, this may be a bad time to ask about him. The older man with a hat came walking over, I could hear the indian soccer mom lady say, “Good Morning, Kenny.” to him. So his name was Kenny...

 

All of a sudden the door opened, Bill and Troy walking in. Bill spoke up, “Rise and shine, everybody! We have a _very_ big day ahead of us!” He sent Troy off to wake up the rest of us, the one girls father went over shortly after to wake his daughter. I followed Troy over to Clementine's bunk, watching to see how he is around kids.

 

He kicked Clementine's side lightly, waking her. Clementine scrunched up her face, “Don't kick me.”. Looking down to the ground for a second, her gaze lifted back to Troy, “It's rude.”. I couldn't help but give a faint laugh at the two. Troy looked back at me, annoyed, and then back to Clementine, “Get up. Bill's gonna have a word.” We all headed over to the rest of the group, Bill started to speak.

 

“There's been increased walker activity along the fence so be mindful when outside the walls. The herd's moved a little closer as of this morning, but that still doesn't necessarily mean we'll be hit. Know we're monitoring the situation. Now... There are some folks might be sore about what happened...at how things went.” I looked around, seeing Rebecca's face twist in disgust. I wonder what Bill means. Bill continued on over my thoughts, “Well, that's all in the past now...some of you are new to our community. Some of you are members who went astray. But know that you can find redemption here...forgiveness...by proving your worth through what will be undoubtedly hard work.” Bill smiled, “Reggie, you're nearly back in. Keep following the path, and we'll welcome you back with open arms.”

 

I overheard somebody say “How'd you sleep?” Bill stopped talking, looking at the girl for a second, then continued his speech. “Let Reggie be an example to you all, salvation is available but it must be... _earned_.”

 

I heard Clementine whisper, “Pay attention, Sarah..”, and yet another name I've learned today.

 

“Kenneth will be taking over Reggie's duties outside the walls.” Kenneth? That just sounds so...so weird. “Michael will continue on showing his value.”

 

Sarah spoke up to Clementine yet _again_ , “I just thought it was nice to finally--”.

 

“Carlos!” Bill yelled, making me jump a tiny bit, he seemed really angry.

 

“...Yes?” Sarah's dad, now known to me as Carlos spoke up, voice dripping in dismay.

 

“Your child seems to be in need of correction.” the stern look on Bill's face made me worry, what did he mean by 'correction'?

 

Carlos spoke back up, “I'm sorry, I—Sarah, a--apologize to Mr.Carver.”

 

Sarah grabbed her arm, looking up at Bill, “S-- I'm...sorry, sir.”

 

“No, no. That ain't gonna cut it.” Oh no, what is Bill getting at here? “I can't have this kind of behavior on day one of your reform.” He turned back to Carlos, pointing at him. “You discipline her now, Carlos.”

 

Worry was painted all over Carlos' face, “How do you propose that I--”, before Carlos could finish his question he was cut off by Bill.

 

“One good smack across the mouth should do it. It'll make her think twice before opening it up again. Go on, we'll wait.” A silence panned over the room, as we all looked at one another. I tried my best to hold in my fear, this reminded me way too much of my own father.

 

“My... I'm not sure with my hand that I could--” Carlos was again cut off by Bill.

 

“Well, that's why you got two hands, Carlos. Come on, and not some namby pamby thing, all right? A good hard smack. Otherwise, Troy here will do it for ya. I don't think you want that. He can be... overzealous. Is that the word?” Bill asked, turning back to face Troy.

 

Troy smirked, “If it means I”ll slap the shit our of her, then yeah.”. Wait, what? Was he kidding? No way... Carlos hung his head, turning towards Sarah.

 

“I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry...” she started to plead, but her pleads did nothing.

 

“Close your eyes, honey. It's only going to sting for a second.” Carlos was trying to make it seem better, but I get the feeling even Sarah knew that was a lie. Sarah closed her eyes, waiting for impact. Carlos raised his hand, freezing up.

 

“Do it.” Bill demanded, Carlos closed his eyes “I-- I can't...”

 

“Just like I thought.” Bill stated coldly, “ _Troy._ ”. He called Troy over to us, Troy dropped his gun.

 

Carlos started to panic, “W—Wait, no! I'll do it, please just let me--” Carlos' pleads fell on deaf ears.

 

Troy roughly grabbed Sarah's arm, lifting his hand quickly. I closed my eyes, afraid to watch.

 

_SMACK._ I opened my eyes, watching as Troy let go of Sarah's arm, her falling to the ground and crying. 

 

I could see Carlos' eyes widen, he started to speak “Sarah, I'm sorry--” .

 

Bill got in Carlos' face, pointing his finger into his chest “Stop! You're not coddling that girl anymore!” he screamed in his face. Turning over to look at Sarah he continued, “Let her sit and think about what she's done.” Acting as if nothing had happened he returned to his original position, “Troy, get Carlos to his post. Everyone else should have their assignments. It's time to get to work.” he said as he walked out of the pen.

 

Troy walked towards me, “C'mon, you're at the fence again.”. I nodded, heading outside. I could see the fence was starting to bend, walkers were definitely getting worse, I need to fix some of the cracking support beams to keep it up. Luckily all of our scrap wood and metal is piled out here, and my toolbox.

 

I stretched my arms out, yawning. I walked over to my toolbox, taking out a hammer, some nails, and a roll of duct tape somebody must've added in earlier. I went up to one of the cracking beams, hammering in a nail through the crack and then wrapping duct tape around it. I have to admit, I have no idea what I'm doing. I continued doing this to the rest of the supports for what was probably an hour or two.

 

I searched around, Troy wasn't here yet, meaning I didn't have any assignments yet. I turned around to see what seemed to be a comic shop, oh man, I haven't been in one of these since I was a teen. It couldn't hurt to take a look, could it? I decided to go inside, to my surprise there were still comics.

 

A specific book caught my attention, it was titled 'The Walking Dead'. I picked it up, skimming the pages, looked lame. Don't really wanna read about walkers while it's a daily part of my life. I put the book back on the shelf. Walking around the room, I swore I heard something shuffle around. I decided to go over to the source of noise, behind a bookshelf. It was a....man?

 

The man stared at me, raising his hands as if he was caught by the police. My eyes shifted around nervously, I finally spoke up “...Uh, H-Hey there...? I'm...um, I'm James.” I reached out, putting the mans hands down, “No need to be on defense, I...I ain't a guard.” The man shot me a confused look, he looked like crap. His skin was a sickly pale color, and his eyes were dark. Was be bit? “Are...ya bit?”

 

“If ya ain't a guard then who the hell are ya?” the man asked, he added in “And no...I ain't bit.”

 

“Good, good. That's a good start. I'm a...whaddya call it...a resident? I live in the pen.” I held out my hand cautiously, not sure if I should trust this guy or not. “Mind tellin' me yer name?”.

 

“I'm Luke, don't make me regret tellin' ya, okay?” he grasped my hand weakly to shake it, poor guy, when was the last time he ate? Wait, Luke. Rebecca was talking about a Luke earlier.

 

“The folks in the pen were talkin' 'bout a Luke, you happen to know a Rebecca...or a Nick?” as soon as I spoke the names Luke's face lit up like a Christmas tree. “They're real worried 'bout you.”

 

“Please tell them I'm doin' just fine, nothin' to worry about.” Luke smiled weakly, he wasn't fine. The poor guy looked almost like a walker!

 

“Don't ya worry, Luke. I'll make sure yer folks get the message.” After assuring Luke, I heard footsteps outside.

 

“James! Where the hell are ya?!” It was Troy, I've never snuck away from my post before. I looked over to Luke, giving a small wave as I walked outside to Troy.

 

“Sorry, Troy. I got done the fence early...so I went to look at some comics....” I felt ashamed, lowering my head.

 

“Oh for fucks sake, come on! I need you at the kitchen!” Troy grabbed my arm, dragging me to the kitchen, I've never done work in the kitchen. Hell, when's the last time I was in a kitchen?

 

While being dragged by Troy I saw Russell and Wyatt, waving to them. They looked concerned, but that's normal around Troy.

 

Opening the doors I could see somebody else was in here already, the Indian woman. Troy pushed me into the room and slammed the door behind me. I looked at the lady, confused on what to do. “So...uh, what're we doin' in here?”.

 

“We are counting the supplies in the pantry.”, the woman replied, looking at the supplies already. “I'm Sarita.” she told me, handing me a checklist.

 

“N-Nice to meet ya, Sarita.” I grasped the checklist and went over to one of the shelves. Canned green beans....canned corn...canned carrots....c-chips? Hmmm...this could work. I pocketed the small bag, hoping Sarita didn't see me. There was canned cheese...canned _everything_. All of the sudden the doors flew open, Bonnie came running in.

 

“James! The fence is goin' down, we need you!” she yelled, I ran with her to the outside, the fence was tilting, walkers gathering on it. If those supports snaps the fence goes down.

 

I ran over to my tools, grabbing my...my saw! Yeah, I'll use my saw! Grabbing my saw, I ran over, swinging my saw down onto the walkers heads. Troy was helping from his post on top of the expansion, shooting the walkers. Wait, noise attracts walkers. “Troy, stop shootin'! It's attractin' more of them!” I yelled back to him while bashing walkers with my saw, I don't know if this was even helping.

 

“Like hell I will!” Troy yelled back at me, shooting even more. My saw was creating a mangled mess, blood was splattering everywhere, I was about to puke. Bonnie was actually getting the walkers off, stabbing them in the heads. I could see more walkers gathering, all because of the damn noise from Troy's gun!

 

“Troy! Stop with the fuckin' gun! You're bein' an idiot!” I screamed at him, I was not losing this fence. I will not lose this fence.

 

“You want me to stop?! I'll fuckin' stop!” Troy slid down the ladder that leads up to the expansion, running over to the fence, bashing the walkers heads in. Thank god.

 

Soon the walkers stopped gathering, it was finally over. Bonnie panted, “I gotta get goin', thanks for helpin'.” as she walked inside. I waved bye as I crouched down to access the damage on the fence. Two supports nearly snapped, they need to be fixed somehow...all of them do. Somebody suddenly grabbed my shoulder, picking me up.

 

“Listen up, next time you fuckin' try tellin' _me_ what to do I'll knock the shit outta you!” Troy basically spat in my face.

 

“Troy, yer shootin' was attractin' more of them! It could've got us killed!” I pushed Troy off of me. Big mistake, he looked furious. He raised a hand at me, but stopped when we both heard yelling from the roof.

 

“ **NO, NO, NO, NO! PLEASE, BILL! NO! NO! NO! NO! PLEASE!”** It sounded like...Reggie?

 

Troy started to speak, “What--” he was cut off by screaming.

 

I could see Reggie's body falling off the roof as he screamed –SPLAT. His...his body hit the ground.

 

I can't—there's too much blood...I fell to the ground, vomiting whatever food was in my stomach as I heard walkers tear apart the fresh corpse.

 

I could hear Troy whisper to himself, “Jesus Christ...” he must've put his tough guy facade back up because his voice returned to its normal state, “Just get back to work, I'll be back soon.”.

 

As Troy left I stood back up, feeling queasy. Oh wait, I need to get these chips to Luke before he comes back. I walked into the comic shop quickly, “L-Luke...? Ya in here still?”

 

I could see Luke peak his head out form one of the shelves, “Over here.”. I walked over, reaching into my pocket for the chips, suddenly Luke tackled me. Wrestling me to the ground somehow I started whispering to him loudly, “What're ya doin'?! I brought ya food!”. Luke stopped wrestling me, getting up.

 

“Shit man...I-I thought ya had a gun.” he reached out his hand, helping me up off the ground.

 

“It's fine, I'd do the same.” I laughed lightly, pulling the bag of chips out of my pocket, “Here ya go, they're probably stale though.” I handed them over to Luke, who quickly grabbed them. Opening the bag and stuffing them in his mouth.

 

While he was eating I got up, starting to head out the door “I gotta go now, but I'll try sneakin' ya some food tomorrow.” I could hear him say 'Thank you' as I walked out.

 

Once I got out I grabbed my toolbox and some scrap wood and carried it over to the fence, maybe putting planks across the support beams would help hold it up? I placed a plank of wood horizontally in between the beams, nailing it into place. I continued doing this to every set of beams, for what seemed like hours. That's when Troy came back out.

 

“You finished?” he asked, acting like nothing had happened earlier. I gave him a simple nod while putting my supplies back in their place. “Good, it's time for dinner. Come on.” he ordered me, I got up, walking inside with him.

 

I looked at Troy's face while walking, “'Bout Reggie...Why would Bill...”.

 

He looked over at me, “That ain't our fuckin' business.” He lifted up the pen door, letting me walk in.

 

Everybody seemed to be here, except Carlos. Nick and Sarah were in a corner of the room while everybody else sat and ate. I walked over to one of the full bowls, it was oatmeal with blueberries in it. I picked up the bowl, heading over to everybody else first.

 

How should I tell them about Luke? I pondered the thought for a second, “E-Excuse me...”. Mostly everybody looked in my direction. “I, um, I found yer friend. Luke.”.

 

Rebecca stood up, “Where is he? Is he okay?”.

 

“He wanted me to tell ya he's doin' okay, he's in the comic shop next to the expansion. I'd check on him if I were y'all. It might make him feel better.” I answered, Luke did look sick, but I won't lie to Luke by telling them.

 

“Thank you, James...” Rebecca walked over, hugging me. This was pretty awkward, but it made me feel good, like I helped somehow. I patted Rebecca on the back, after she let go I went over to Sarah and Nick.

 

Sarah was sitting with her arms around her knees, sobbing, and Nick was sitting next to her trying to calm her down. I sat down next to Nick, “She okay?” I asked while eating my oatmeal.

 

“No...she's still shaken from earlier. I can't get her to calm down.” Nick sighed, I could see he was trying his hardest. That's when an idea popped into my head. I moved to the front of Sarah.

 

“Want me to braid yer hair?” I asked her, biting my lip nervously. Sarah looked up, cheek still bright red, and nodded slowly. I pulled two hair bands off my arm, motioning her to turn around, which she did slowly. I started braiding her thick hair with a slow, calming pace. I hummed to myself while looping around the braids.

 

I finished up her two braids, this reminds me of old time with...Farah. Sarah seemed to have calmed down a tiny bit, but she was still upset, I should try to take her mind off of this. “Hmm...how 'bout we play go fish?”. Sarah's face lit up, and she nodded. “Ya gonn' join in, Nick?” I looked over, smiling at him. He looked like he needed some cheering up too.

 

“Uh...yeah, sure.” Nick answered, forming what seemed to be a small grin. I shuffled over to my bunk, grabbing the playing cards out of my bag. I sat back down with Nick and Sarah. I gave them each their cards.

 

Oh, that reminds me about something important, Luke. “Uh, Nick. About yer friend. I...I found him earlier. Next to the expansion, he wanted me to tell ya he's okay.”.

 

Nick's eyes widened, “I knew he didn't leave...”, he looked down at his cards smiling, “You got a king of hearts?”

 

Looking through my cards I saw...a king of hearts. “Sure do.” I smiled at him, handing him the card.

 

At least tonight was left on a better note.


	8. The Plan

# Chapter 8: The Plan

 

I stirred in my bed, the hues of the sunrise casting onto the floor. I rummaged through my bag, pulling out a old picture of Farah. Old blood and dirt stained the photograph, but I could still see her smiling face. It was her first day of kindergarten, she had decided to cut her own hair the night before. Quinn got mad that I didn't fix it, but Farah was just so proud of herself for doing it on her own, I couldn't take that away from her. I laughed lightly to myself, holding the picture to my chest. I grabbed my diary out of my bag, looking at the scores from last nights game of go fish.

 

_James: 1_

 

_Nick: 2_

 

_Sarah: 4_

 

Wow, I really did suck. After the first two rounds Sarah started to open up, it was nice seeing her and Nick laugh though. I rolled out of bed, hitting something hard on my way down. Which may or may not have been Nick. My bad. I could see him open his eyes, furrowing his brows.

Were his eyes always this blue? I grabbed my hood, awkwardly shifting my eyes around “S-Sorry...”

 

“Mmm... just let me sleep.” Nick mumbled, rolling back over. Thank goodness he wasn't mad, at least it didn't seem like it. While walking over to a table I heard someone saying my name, somebody at the gate. Troy must've seen me up, I headed over to the gate. As it lifted I saw it was just Wyatt and Russell... they had a camera? Not even a newer kind, it was a Polaroid.

 

“Say cheese!” Wyatt exclaimed, suddenly there was a flash of light. Looking at the camera I saw a photo come out the bottom, it was me. I haven't really seen my face in a long time...

 

I snatched the photo from the camera, taking a close look at it. I looked like shit. “Do I really look like _this_? Time hasn't been kind on me.” I laughed.

 

“Time hasn't been kind on any of us, dude. I mean just look at Russell.” Wyatt and I both held in our laughs, glancing over to our silent friend.

 

“You ain't hot shit yourself, pal.” Russell crossed his arms, angrily looking at Wyatt.

 

Wyatt's humor never really works on Russell, “Russ, it's a joke, chill out.” Wyatt joked, nudging Russ on the shoulder.

 

“Where did' ya find that thing?” I held out my hand, asking for the camera, Wyatt handed it over. It had a couple scratches, but it really wasn't beat up.

 

“Man, this reminds me of when I was in high school. I took this photography course because some hot chick was in it, turns out I suck at photography and she had a boyfriend.”

 

 

“My friend Devin tried somethin' like that too, he joined track team for a girl. Dragged me along with him...” I smiled, reminiscing.

 

“... Did he get the girl?” Russell spoke up, it's easy to forget the guy is here. He's just so quiet...

 

I went to spoke up, interrupted by somebody yelling “The fuck are you idiots doing?!”. Shit, it was Troy.

 

Wyatt looked at Troy, “Sorry, Troy. We were relaxin' a bit--” he was cut off by Troy.

 

“I don't give a damn what you're doing, just keep the door shut!” Troy yelled, pushing me into the pen and shutting the door. I could hear him yell “Go get to work!” before leaving.

 

I sighed, turning around, being greeted by both a pair of golden eyes and a pair of blue eyes. Clementine and Nick.

 

“G'mornin'... d-did the yellin' wake ya..?” I walked over slowly to the table, sitting next to Clementine.

 

Nick shot me a look from across the table, “Gee I fuckin' wonder, did it?”, he seemed grumpy. Hopefully he's just not a morning person.

 

“ _Nick._ ” Clementine stared at Nick, an angry look on her face, “It's not his fault.”.

 

I shifted my eyes back and forth between the two, you could cut the tension with a butter knife.

 

I tried to break the tension, turning my attention towards Clementine “So..how'd ya sleep, sweet pea?”. I smiled at her, but her expression seemed to sadden. “Are ya okay...?”.

 

Clem looked down at her lap, “I'm... fine.”. I somehow managed to make the situation worse.

 

That's when the pen door opened, in came Bonnie with a tray full of bowls, “Time to eat, y'all!”. Her yelling seemed to wake up Carlos and Kenny. Soon they got Sarita and Sarah up also. I watched Bonnie try to handle the tray, almost dropping it a few times.

 

I walked over, “Ya need help, Bon?” I flashed her a smile. I started picking up bowls, lightening the tray for her. Walking back over to the table, setting bowls in front of Clementine, Sarah, and Sarita. Bonnie finished giving out bowls. Somebody was missing.

 

Searching the room I found the missing person, Rebecca. I looked over at Bonnie, she had a look of sudden realization on her face, “Oh, Rebecca!” she exclaimed in her thick accent. Walking over to Rebecca's bed, she knelt down, softly waking Rebecca. I could see Rebecca smile a tiny bit when Bonnie handed her the bowl, my train of thoughts was cut off by a voice.

 

“Where did these come from?” It was Carlos, I turned around and saw him holding one of Sarah's braids softly.

 

“James did my hair for me! Isn't it great?” Sarah exclaimed, I sat down in one of the only spots left around the table, next to Kenny.

 

“Oh, did he?” Carlos' gaze turn towards me, his eyes looked distrustful, but why?

 

“Yeah, and then we played go fish! I won too!” Sarah sounded like a little girl, full of joy, I can start to tell that something is, well, _off_ with her. She's not like the others.

 

The distrustful gaze I was getting from Carlos softened, maybe he saw my true intentions?

 

I started eating, the oatmeal was bland, but filling. I had to remember to save half of it for Luke though.

 

I looked over at the man next to me, Kenny. Why did that name sound familiar...? I tried thinking back, the whole past 2 years have been a blur though.

 

I reached the halfway point on my bowl pretty quick. I got up with my bowl, advancing towards Bonnie “Hey Bon, mind if I go work on the fence? It's been buggin' me all night. Supports are never stable enough.” I let out a small chuckle at my last remark, they really weren't.

 

“Alright, Kenny and Mike will be joinin' ya out there later, fixin' up the expansion.” Bonnie smiled, giving me permission to go. Which I did, fast. I walked to the outside, heading to the comic shop. I slowly opened the door, hoping Luke wouldn't try to jump me again.

 

“... Luke? It's me, I brought ya some breakfast.” I whispered out, cautiously walking into the shop.

 

I could see a tiny bit of Luke's wavy brown hair peek out from behind one of the shelves, I could hear a faint “Over here.” come from him.

 

Walking over, I set the bowl down in front of Luke, taking a seat next to him. Watching him grab the oatmeal and chow down.

 

“So, uh, Luke... I told the group 'bout ya. Told them to stop by to visit ya sometime...” I smiled at him, bringing my knees up to my chest.

 

Luke finished the rest of the oatmeal, “Thanks man, I'll try grabbin' Clem later.”

 

I couldn't help but think of the million of ways for things to go wrong if he grabbed Clementine, but I shrugged it off, “I gotta get goin' now, seeya later.”. I waved as I left the store.

 

I gave the fence a good look, even now there's nothing I can do to make them better. We'd need to brick them up.

 

I heard the door to the inside open, turning my head I could see Mike, Kenny, and Troy walk out. Oh yeah, Bonnie did say Mike and Kenny were going to work on the expansion. I rushed over to the group. “Ya need some help?” I asked Troy.

 

“Nah, these two should be enough.” Troy said as he eyed up the two men, his gun pointed at them.

 

“Well... mind if I hang with ya? I'm not really needed anywhere...” I asked, I needed to talk with Troy about what happened with Sarah, Reggie too.

 

Troy rolled his eyes, “Whatever, just don't get in my fucking way.”.

 

We reached the front of the expansion, Troy ushered Kenny and Mike into the store. Then looking over to me he said, “Up here.” as he climbed the ladder to the roof. I nodded my head, climbing behind him.

 

You could see everything from up here, more specifically the dust that the horde of walkers were making. “How many days do ya give it, Troy?” I asked.

 

Troy looked out to the horde, using his binoculars, “Two or three probably, the walkers are gonna give us hell this time 'round.”.

 

I might just be pessimistic, but I don't think we're gonna survive this horde. Especially the expansion. This isn't why I came up here though, I came up for questions. “So,uh, about the other day... with Sarah. What _was_ that?”.

 

Troy's eyebrows furrowed, “I was following orders, Bill said to so I did.”.

 

“Ya seemed pretty into it for just 'following orders', Troy.” I crossed my arms, looking at him. I was annoyed, “Ya get a kick outta it, don'tcha? Bill pushes ya around, makes ya feel helpless. So ya finally get to feel powerful beatin' the lil people?” I really needed to think before I spoke.

 

I must've struck a nerve, because Troy looked furious “Shut up, Shut the fuck up!”. He grabbed me by my hood, yelling in my face. He knew I was right.

 

The door to the inside opened yet again, and out popped Clementine with a bucket. Bonnie peaked out from the door, “Hey Troy! Clem's just gonna take them boys some nails.”

 

Troy unhanded me, “All right, just follow them cables.”.

 

I wandered over to the edge of the roof, sitting down. This reminded me of Devin's 16th birthday, we were out on the roof that was accessible from my window, Devin got me to take a smoke from him. Man, I thought I could fly, and I tried to fly too. Broke my arm 'flying' off the roof.

 

Suddenly I heard glass breaking... and screaming? Troy looked down, “Shit!”. Oh man, was it the expansion? Troy went down the ladder, running inside. I followed close behind.

 

Walkers were in the store, looking over I saw the window had broken. I had no weapons, it's not like the walker approaching me cared about that though. I kicked it away, knocking it down. As fast as I could I stomped the head of the walker in, soon another grabbed me.

 

I tried wrestling it off of me, but I was losing my grip on the walkers head. I closed my eyes, ready for the walkers to fall down and bite me. Suddenly the weight was gone, opening my eyes I saw Mike lifting the walker off of me, hitting it in the head. That was the last walker.

 

I looked around, seeing Clementine and Troy walk out of the back room.

 

Kenny's eyes locked onto Clementine, “Oh, thank god, you're okay.”.

 

Troy, ruining the moment, spoke up “All right, enough mushy shit. You get back inside right fuckin' now. I'm sure they got shit for you to do in there.” he looked at Clementine and I “Now! Think I'm fuckin' around?”

 

As I walked outside with Clementine I could hear Troy from inside, “Now I gotta sit down here and babysit you assholes. Can't do a simple fuckin' patch job without me here crackin' the whip?”.

 

I looked over at Clementine, “Ya okay? Hurt anywhere?”. I watched as Clementine shook her head no, continuing on “Good, good. Luke wanted to see ya, I'll distract Troy.” I whispered as I pointed to the comic shop.

 

Giving a nod she made her way into the shop, soon after Troy came walking out. I tried to start conversation to get him from hearing Clem and Luke, “Hey Troy, I think we should start makin' a brick fence, somethin' sturdy. Whaddya think?”.

 

“Can't. We're sealing off the windows in the expansion with the bricks and cement we have left over. You're gonna start working on that tomorrow.” I nodded, I could hear a door open.

 

Troy turned his over to the source of the sound, Clementine leaving the comic shop, “What the hell were you doin' in there?!”

 

Clementine jumped a tiny bit, “Looking at comics... there's a whole store full of them in there!”

 

Troy sighed, “Yeah? No shit. You best not dawdle, girlie. Pull somethin' like that again and you'll be meetin' the back of my hand.”

 

I shot and angry glare at Troy, in return he rolled his eyes at me continuing, “Bill radioed. Wants a word with you up in his office, so get on up there. _Now_.” Clementine quickly ran inside.

 

Suddenly there was a static from Troy's radio, “Hey Troy, I need James in the armory.”

 

Troy picked up his radio, holding down a button. “All right, I'll send him in.”

 

I gave a blunt “Mmkay.”, walking inside. I headed over to the armory, opening the door.

 

Bonnie was sitting there with none other than Nick, his icy blue eyes focused on feeding bullets into the magazine.

 

“Hey James, you okay...?” Bonnie questioned, I jumped a tiny bit.

 

Fumbling my words I spat out, “Y-Yeah! I'm great, whaddya need?” while shifting around nervously.

 

Bonnie slyly smiled at me, “I gotta go take a leak, can you load some magazines for me?”

 

I laughed lightly, “Yeah, Bon.” I took a seat where she once was, watching her leave.

 

I picked up a bullet, jamming it into the slot of the magazine. It wouldn't fit, I tried harder to push it in.

 

I could hear a loud sigh from across from me, “Give it to me.” Nick grabbed the magazine out of my hands.

 

I tried protesting against the help, “Nick, ya don't have to--” I was cut off.

 

Nick looked up at me, sighing again “Just shut up.”. He pulled the bullet out, flipping it around, and putting it in. The bullet slid through just fine then.

 

I spoke up in embarrassment, “S-Sorry, I never did--” I was cut off yet again.

 

Nick pushed the magazine back into my hands, “It's fine.”.

 

I started feeding bullets into the magazine just how Nick did it, taking a peak up every now and then.

 

I spoke up from the deafening silence, “So, um, thanks for playin' with me and Sarah last night...”

 

Nick continued doing his work, “Yeah, sure, anytime.”

 

The door opened, looking over I saw Bonnie walk back in, “You boys getting' along in here?”.

 

I smiled up at her, “Mhmm, ya need anything else, Bon?”.

 

“Nope, we're done for today, fellas. Head on back to the pen.” Bonnie cheered, cleaning up the leftover bullets. Nick and I both got up from our seats.

 

“Well, see ya later then.” I smiled and waved before opening the door for Nick. Soon following after Nick went through.

 

The only people in the pen were Sarah and Jane. A weird combination.

 

Jane was in hee corner as per usual, being the lone wolf figure and all. While Sarah was sitting by herself on her bunk.

 

Nick walked over to a table, sitting himself down. I headed on over to Sarah, sitting in the bunk across from her, Nick's bunk.

 

“Hey Sarah, how's yer day goin'?” I smiled at her, she was a nice girl, but that always comes back to get you these days.

 

Sarah formed a small smile, “Good, I was with Sarita most of the day... Where's my dad?” her expression turned into one of sadness.

 

I didn't know what to say, “He's probably still workin', hon. Ain't nothin' to be worried 'bout.” I tried hard to think of a way to distract her... “Wanna play a game?”

 

Sarah raised an eyebrow, “What kind of game?” that's a good question... I looked around the room for something, anything to play with.

 

Nick's hat. We are going to get Nick's hat. I pointed over at Nick, “Ya see Nick's hat? We're gonna take it” I whispered to Sarah.

 

Sarah looked excited, “But... how? He's super tall!” I shushed her, her yelling would ruin the plan.

 

I continued on, “I'll put ya up on my shoulders, and then we'll ambush him.” I whispered back to her.

 

Sarah smiled, “That sounds good, when do we do it?” she questioned.

 

I looked over at Nick, he looked deep in thought, biting his nails. Looking back at Sarah I grinned, “ **Now.** ” 

 

I knelt down, feeling Sarah's legs go onto my shoulders, “Ya ready?” I questioned, looking up. Seeing Sarah nod her head yes I stood up, holding onto her as I stood up.

 

“Now yer mission is to grab the hat and retreat to the bunks, okay?” I gave out commands, this was serious, this was _war_. 

 

Sarah nodded her head, “I'm ready.” good, it was time.

 

I took a big breath in, then yelling “ _ CHAAAARRGE!”  _ running at Nick. 

 

I could see Nick jump, looking at us, I continued my charge. There is no mercy on the battlefield. I could hear Sarah giggling above me.

 

Nick tried getting up, but it was too late, we all collided. Falling down, hitting the floor.

 

I landed on the ground next to Nick, but Sarah landed on his torso. Nick started protesting, “What the f--” but was cut off by Sarah's hand hitting his mouth, she was still trying to get the hat.

 

Nick almost got her off, but she grabbed the hat at the last second. She got up, running as fast as she could to the bunks, getting up onto my bunk.

 

I started laughing on the ground, screaming out “VICTORY!”. Sarah started cheering from my bunk.

 

I turned over to my right, just to be met with Nick's angry face. Oops. Suddenly the door to the pen opened, with Sarita, Kenny, Carlos, Mike, and Rebecca walking in.

 

Kenny looked down at Nick and I, “What the fuck are you kids doin'?”.

 

Standing up, Nick remarked “I ain't a kid, mister.”.

 

While getting up I heard Kenny mumble, “Sure you aren't.” while walking away.

 

I looked over to my bunk to see if Sarah was still there, sure enough she was. With Carlos at the bottom questioning her “Sarah, what were you doing?”.

 

“James and I were playing a game.” Sarah chirped out, I could see she was wearing Nick's hat on her head. I chuckled lightly, it looked cute on her.

 

Everybody started grouping around the fire, well everybody except Jane, I saw Rebecca wave me over. Walking over I took a seat next to Mike. I decided to speak up, “What's goin' on?”.

 

“We're leaving.” Kenny stated bluntly, giving me a cold stare.

 

I tried to stare him back in the eyes, “But... why?” I didn't really need explaining, with what happened to Reggie and the whole incident with Sarah I knew just fine why they wanted to book it outta here.

 

While the door to the pen opened Kenny continued on, “'Cause we all know what happened yesterday! I don't know what the sonuvabitch is gonna do next!”, while Kenny was talking I looked over to see who just came in. I saw Clementine walking in, confusion painted on her face.

 

Kenny leaned in, hushing his voice only a tiny bit, “All right, here's the plan. We make a shit ton of noise, attract the walkers over here to distract everybody. That's when we make our move.”.

 

Mike's face became disgruntled, “So you wanna ring the dinner for a herd of walkers to show up? How is that better?” Mike had a point, how would we all get out?

 

Kenny starting to raise his voice gradually, “'Cause this place'll be fuckin' chaos when that thing hits. No one'll be payin' any attention to us, and that's when we go. That's our opening. We just gotta figure out a way to draw 'em to us.”

 

I tried speaking up, to join in the conversation again, “Ken, there would be walkers  _ everywhere _ .”

 

Kenny looked me in the eyes, “You don't think I fuckin' know that?”.

 

I saw as Clementine walked over, sitting next to me. I looked over and gave a tiny wave to her, earning a smile.

 

Rebecca focused her attention to Clementine, “Your friend here wants to get us killed by lurkers before Bill can do it.”.

 

Kenny furrowed his brows, looking angrily over to Rebecca, “What is it with you?”

 

Rebecca took no time in replying, “That's what it sounds like to me.”. Rebecca was a strong woman, not afraid to speak her mind. Good qualities, yet also bad. I know from experience speaking aloud too much can get you in deep shit.

 

Sarita looked around, “You know that's not what he's saying, but... it does sound dangerous.”, Sarita was good at trying to please both sides of an argument.

 

Kenny was becoming more irritated by the minute, “This shit is all dangerous!” yelling at Sarita.

 

“Kenny! Do not speak to me like that.” Sarita spoke up, raising her own voice at him.

 

I sat there silently, not knowing what to say. Hopefully Clementine will have something to say about Luke.

 

Coincidentally Clementine spoke up, “Maybe Luke could help us... he's outside. He wants a radio to help keep an eye on the guards.” Wasn't a bad plan at all.

 

Rebecca's face lit up for a second, “Thank you! That's the plan I vote for.” I couldn't help but notice how she glared at Kenny while stating her opinion.

 

Nick spoke up, “Me too.” crossing his arms.

 

Rebecca continued speaking, “If Luke can tell us what's going on with the guards we can use that to pick a good time to escape.”.

 

I saw Sarita crack a tiny smile at Rebecca, “That seems reasonable.”. Good, we were getting a plan.

 

Kenny, being pessimistic, blurted out “Who knows when that'll be.” He paused for a moment, looking over at Clementine, “There was a girl back at Crawford that used church bells to send walkers all over the city. We just need something really loud.”

 

I watched as Sarita's face turned into one of deep thought, turning her head to Kenny she replied, “The P.A. System Carver is always using is quite loud.”

 

Mike jumped into the conversation, “There's some speakers outside the building... pointed towards the parking lot. I saw 'em when we were walking out to the work. Troy's always standing next to one of them.”.

 

Clementine looked around at the group, “I saw the controls. They're in Carvers office.”

 

Rebecca chimed in with a “She's right. It's all controlled in Bills office. There's a switch in there that'll turn them on.”

 

Mike questioned, “How do you know that?”.

 

Rebecca answered, “I used to make a lot of the announcements back in the day... I had it flipped on once... luckily there wasn't much around at the time to hear it. It was plenty loud though.”

 

I watched as Kenny's face lit up, “That's perfect! We just gotta get into his office. Why didn't you say something sooner?”

 

Rebecca glared at Kenny, “'Cause it doesn't change anything. This isn't a discussion about how to do it, it's a discussion about whether it's stupid. And it's still stupid. The sensible thing is to get Luke the radio and wait for an opening.”

 

Kenny sighed, “You're real difficult to deal with sometimes...”

 

Sarita looked over at Kenny, “ _ Kenny... _ ”

 

Rebecca frowned, “No that's all right. You ain't exactly a peach, either.”.

 

“Luke's in no shape to help us. You wanna put our fate in _that_ guy's hands? It's not happening.”

 

“Listen, you don't know jack shit about Luke!” Nick yelled at Kenny, I think he struck a nerve.

 

I spoke up, “Ken, you're not the leader of this group. You can't decide what we're doin'.”

 

Kenny opened his mouth, about to yell at Nick and I, but Clementine interrupted “Why can't we do both? Even if we bring the herd to us it's probably good for Luke to be able to tell us where they're coming from.”

 

Kenny nodded his head slightly, “You know what? Fine. I can get behind that. Okay, so we get that turd a radio, he keeps us posted on the herd's movement. We fire up the PA thing and bring the walkers to roll over this place.”

 

Mike chimed in, “And then what?”

 

Kenny gritted his teeth, “Get some guns and shoot our way out. I don't know! Whatever we can! We improvise.” he spat out, glaring at Mike.

 

Mike's eyebrows lowered, “Then that's not a plan. You don't plan to improvise.”

 

Rebecca started to speak, “I figured what your problem is... you don't think this stuff through. If the end of the plan is to just stroll through a herd of walkers, then you should know from the jump that there's no way it's ever going to work.”

 

“Actually...” I heard an unfamiliar voice come from behind me, causing me to jump a tiny bit, looking back I saw Jane approaching us, “I do it all the time.” she finished, putting her hand on her hip.

 

Mike shook his head, “First words I ever hear you say, and it's just some crazy, stupid shit.”

 

Sarita busted in, “Hush. What do you mean exactly?”

 

Jane looked around, “When you cover yourself in their smell, rub the walker guts all over you... they can't tell you from one of them.”

 

Rebecca sighed, “Now I don't know who's crazier.”

 

Jane continued talking despite Rebecca's remark, “Trust me, I've walked through herds before. It works. You just have to keep calm, and make sure you're good and covered.”

 

“You seemed to know what you're talking about.” Sarita replied.

 

Mike shook his head again, “This is nuts.”

 

Kenny smiled, looking over at Mike “No, it's not. It's perfect.”

 

Clementine looked over at Kenny, “Lee figured that out.” Who was Lee?

 

Kenny;s eyes widened, “What?”

 

“It's how we got out of the Marsh House. Lee covered me and walked right through.” Clementine continued. Lee must've been a smart man.

 

Kenny looked amazed, “Really?” he questioned Clementine. Earning a nod from her. “Holy shit. Good one, Lee... All right! What are we waitin' for? Let's get that stupid radio!”

 

Rebecca chimed in “We still have to find a way to get in the stockroom.”

 

Jane butted in, “I got a plan for that, too.” looking down at Clementine “Come on, kid. Gonna need your help.”

 

Kenny pointed behind him, at Jane “Where the hell'd she come from?”

 

I headed over with everyone else to the old ladder Jane was talking with Clementine in front of, the only words I caught from their conversation was Jane saying “You probably won't fall to your death.”.

 

“That thing breaks all the time. Unless something's changed, it won't support much weight.” Rebecca knew just how to burst somebodies bubble.

 

“Come on, up and at 'em” Kenny urged Clementine on, I shot him an angry glare. He was literally trying to force her to do all this.

 

Sarita had the same mindset I did, “Don't push her, Kenny.”

 

Kenny looked over at Sarita, “She's our best bet.” then going back to looking at Clementine “I mean that, Clem.”

 

Clementine looked up, “Now or never, I guess.” I could tell she didn't want to.

 

Kenny grinned, “That's my girl. We gotta get that rope down. Mike, you wanna boost her up?”.

 

Mike reluctantly walked over to the rope, “Come on, kid.”.

 

He picked up Clementine by the sides, she looked down at him, “Don't let go.”

 

Mike looked up at her, “I got you.”

 

I watched as Clementine reached for the rope, finally grabbing it and pulling it down some more. The hook came falling down, hitting the ground. Clementine got down off of Mike, grabbing onto the rope whilst standing on the hook.

 

Mike started to pull her up, “Try to hurry, all right? I don't think they're the sharpest guards in the world, but they're no idiots, either. They see you're not in your bunk, we're all done.” I thought about those last words, what would they do to us? What would  _ Bill _ do to us?

 

Suddenly I could hear walking coming closer to the pen, Mike whispered out to Clementine “Shit, he's coming back! I gotta let you go, I can't stand here. Grab something!”

 

Clem jumped over, grabbing the ladder, almost falling. I cringed a little bit at what would've happened if she missed. The pen door opened, I looked over to see who it was, but it was only Wyatt with dinner.

 

Wyatt put the bowls on the table, “Here you go, tomato soup.” he then left, he looked really tired.

 

I grabbed a bowl and sat next to Nick at a table, looking to start a conversation. “So, how long have ya known Luke...? Did ya know him before or after things went to shit?”

 

Nick looked over at me, “I've known him for nearly my whole life, he's like a brother to me... Is he doin' okay?” Nick frowned, his concern for his friend was endearing.

 

I patted Nick on the shoulder, “He's doin' just fine, I've been sneakin' him food in the mornin'.”

 

Nick smiled slightly, “Thanks man, means a lot to the both of us.”

 

I smiled back, “Anytime... It may be sudden but I've grown pretty fond of y'all.”. I started slurping up my soup, it was pretty bland to be honest.

 

Nick stopped eating for a second, “Yeah? Well, I think some of us have too.”.

 

We sat in awkward silence for a while after that, I couldn't help but have a smile plastered onto my face though.

 

Soon everybody started heading to their bunks, including me. Clementine wasn't back yet. I was worried something had happened to the little girl, but I was wrong, Clementine is not a little girl. She isn't a little kid anymore, you're not really allowed to be in this world. Another reason I worry for Sarah...

 

I pulled the diary out of my bag, doodling a picture of Sarah in Nicks hat next to a grumpy Nick. I laughed as I doodled, I wasn't the worlds best artist, but I knew what it meant at least.

 

I heard a thump from the other side of the room, sitting up I saw Clementine and Mike walking over to the bunks.

 

As Clementine got closer I heard Kenny speak, “Well?”.

 

Sarah sat up in her bunk, “Come on, Clem, don't keep us waiting.”

 

Clementine pulled out the radio from her pocket, smiling.

 

I could hear a chuckle come from the bottom bunk, Kenny, “You little devil. Everybody stay where you are. No need drawin' suspicion.”

 

I whispered down to Clem, “Good job, hon.” as I rolled over, falling asleep. I'll have Clementine give me the radio tomorrow morning, and I'll walk it over to Luke. This plan is great.


	9. The Execution

# Chapter 9: The Execution

 

I rubbed my eyes, opening them. I got out of bed, making sure not to kick Nick again. Crouching down next to Clementine, shaking her lightly. I heard a groan come from her, her eyes opening and focusing on me.

 

“G'mornin', hon. I'll be needin' that radio from ya.” I held out my hand to her, in return Clementine put the radio in my hand. I hid the radio inside my hoodie, patting her shoulder and walking over to the pen door, waiting to leave for work.

 

I thought back to last night, what Jane was saying...the walker guts. I'm not sure I can do that. The blood... Will they leave me? No, this is not time for these thoughts, as long as everybody else gets out everything is fine.

 

I saw movement out the corner of my eye, it was just everybody getting up. I could see Kenny stand around a table with the others, so I decided to walk over.

 

Kenny was speaking, “So, who's bringing this radio over to Luke?”.

 

I raised my hand slightly, “I am, I'm workin' next to the comic shop, I can slip it on my way in.”

 

Kenny didn't seem to like that answer, “Wait--” he was cut off by the pen door opening, Tavia walking in.

 

“Time to get up.”, Tavia walked into the pen, “Daylight's burnin'. They let you sleep in, all things considered.” Okay, that was total bull, how long did we 'sleep in'? Five minutes?

 

Sarah spoke up, “Where's my dad...?”.

 

Tavia glared at her, “He's where the rest of you are goin'. To _work_.” I couldn't help but stare at her, she didn't have to be so rude to Sarah. “Rebecca, Sarah, Jane... if you gotta take a piss, do it now. The next break won't be for a while.” Tavia looked at me, “Troy wants you out on the expansion, now. He'll be comin' up for the rest of you.” I nodded my head, heading outside.

 

The air was getting colder, it was definitely winter. I hurried to the comic shop, opening the door. “Luke?” I shut the door behind me, walking inside.

 

“...James?” I heard Luke call out my name, peeking from behind the bookshelves.

 

“Mhmm.” I pulled out the radio from my hoodie, handing it to him “Merry Christmas.”.

 

Luke's eyes widened, grabbing the radio “Thank you...is it that time already? I figured it'd be a week or two--”

 

I cut him off, “I was just bein' an ass, Luke.” I laughed lightly.

 

“Oh... to be honest I was expectin' Clem.” Luke chuckled, scratching his head.

 

“Sorry 'bout that...Look, I outta be goin' now. Don't wanna get ya caught.” I headed for the door, waving.

 

Once leaving the comic shop, I went in the expansion. Slowly opening the door in, peeking to see if any walkers broke in again. It looked clear, I walked in fully, shutting the door behind me. The wood on the window was shaking, and I could feel the vibration of undead hitting against it.

 

I looked around, finding a pile of supplies near the window. I picked up a weird looking device, maybe a sort of dispenser? I looked at the tube inside the dispenser, it read 'All Purpose Caulk'...Oh, I think I remember my step dad using this stuff before. I put the caulk down, picking up what looked like a tube of brown liquid, taking a glance at the label I saw it read 'Gorilla Glue'...? There was a bucket next to all of these smaller items, it was pre mixed cement, and on top of the lid was some weird looking metal device that reminded me of a gardening spade sorta. I'll assume I use it to smooth out things. Oh, and how could I forget the pile of bricks next to everything?

 

I heard the creek of a door opening, stopping my examination and looking back I saw it was Troy... with Nick. Troy's face scrunched up, “You haven't even started yet?”. He shoved Nick in with the tip of his gun, “Y'all better have made progress by the time I come back.”. Troy left, slamming the door behind him.

 

I picked up a brick, scooping up some cement and covering the top and sides of the brick with it, then sticking another brick to it's side and top. This wasn't so hard, I looked over at Nick, he was using the caulk. I decided to make some conversation while working, “Ya ever build somethin' before?” I continued making tiny patches of bricks, then cementing them to the wood covering the window.

 

Nick didn't look at me, but he did talk, “Yeah, my Uncle Pete had me help him build stuff 'round the house. A fence, a shed or two.”. His eyes seemed to soften as he spoke, “...How 'bout you?”

 

“I was never one for buildin' much, I built a lil slide and swing set for my niece, Farah, though. If that counts.” as I talked I couldn't help but have my eyes water a tiny bit while continuing bricking up the wall.

 

“About the plan...I'm not sure I can do it.” I admitted to Nick, I really don't think I can.

 

Nick looked over at me, “Does that mean you're backin' out?”.

 

I shook my head, “No, no. I'm still helpin'. It's just..... nevermind.”

 

We continued bricking up the window for what seemed like, and probably was, hours. It was finally done, I took a step back, looking at our work. I smiled at Nick, “Good work, man. I don't think I could've done it without ya here.”

 

Suddenly the door opened, looking over I saw Troy “Come on, Bill's having a word.”. He ushered us out of the expansion, leading us to the pen.

 

Once entering the pen I saw everybody standing in a group, Bill in front of everybody. I felt something poke my back, turning my head I saw it was Troy's gun. I headed over to the rest of the group.

 

Bill started speaking, “You all thought you could slip something by, did you?” he started pacing from left to right, “Well, whatever you're planning now is over.” he stopped in front of Clementine, putting his hand on her shoulder “Don't test me, get him in here.”. I looked at Clementine, she was staring Bill in the eyes, not moving a muscle. Please just radio Luke, don't get yourself hurt... I know you're strong Clem, but even strong people get hurt... pleading in my head won't solve anything.

 

Bill grabbed Clementine, lifting her off of the ground. He took the radio out of her pocket, holding down the button, “Luke, as fun as this has been, I'm going to need you to come out or I'll have to make things more... _difficult_.” 

 

A static emitted from the radio, “All right, I'm comin' out.” it was Luke's voice. Bill kept his grip on Clementine, a heard a grunt come from my right, turning my head I saw Kenny. His face was full of anger.

 

Kenny took a step forward, “He said he's comin' out, put her down.”. Kenny got even closer, “I said, put her  _down_ .”. Bill looked Kenny in the eyes, dropping Clementine. Literally. Clementine fell, hitting the ground hard. Kenny looked down at Clementine, then back up to Bill. Bill grabbed Kenny by the collar, pinning him down. 

 

Bill spoke up, “Now then, if Luke comes in now I won't have to escalate things” he talked into the radio “I know you hear me, Luke. If you come out now I won't have to make things any harder.”. Bill looked down at Kenny, “Three...two...” Suddenly the noise of the pen door opening was heard, I looked over, seeing Luke walk in. Bill looked at Luke and then back to Kenny, “...One.”

 

Kenny looked up at Bill, “...heh. Fucker.”. In the blink of an eye Bill had raised the hand holding the radio, striking it down on Kenny's face. I held my breath, watching the scene happen in front of me.

 

Luke's eyes widen, “Bill, stop!” Troy walked him over to the rest of us. He stood next to Nick and I.

 

I heard somebody scream, “No!” looking over I saw Sarita, horror painting her face.

 

Bill raised the radio up again, clashing it against Kenny's skull, I yelled out “B-Bill—Sir! Please, this isn't needed!” I saw the blood on Kenny's face as Bill hit him again, I put my hand on my mouth, trying not to freak out.

 

Nick looked over at me, then back to Bill “Jesus Christ! Stop!”.

 

“Stop him! Somebody stop him!” Sarita ran for Kenny, but Carlos stopped her, “Let me go!”

 

Carlos struggled with Sarita, “Stop! Somebody, help me!” I ran right over, helping Carlos hold Sarita.

 

I got in front of Sarita, “Listen to me, Sarita. Ya need to calm down!” I could hear the clash of the radio hitting Kenny whilst I had my back turned.

 

Sarita kept screaming, “NO! STOP IT! KENNY! KENNY!”. Carlos lost grip of Sarita, she pushed me out the way, running for Kenny.

 

I went to call out to her, “Sari--” but stopped when Troy hit her in the head with his gun, knocking her to the ground. I looked over at him, shocked. Troy returned the same look to me.

 

Bill gave Kenny a few more hits, blood splattering around. I started shaking, I felt like I couldn't breathe.

 

That's when I saw Bonnie walk in, “Bill!” she walked faster up to him “That's enough, Bill! Please!” Bill wasn't listening to her until she spoke up again, “Bill, there's a breach!” Bill gave Kenny a final blow, knocking him unconscious.

 

Bill dropped the radio, “All right, everyone come with me. Bonnie, you stick around. Make sure these folks don't get into anymore trouble.” he walked out with Troy and Tavia.

 

Bonnie stared down at Kenny, “Yeah...okay.”.

 

Bill talked for one last time before leaving, “No supper for y'all tonight. Maybe an empty stomach'll give you some perspective... then we'll try this again tomorrow.” he walked out of the pen finally.

 

I noticed Bonnie staring at me, “James, are you--”. I couldn't hold it in anymore, I ran to a corner, throwing up. I was a mess, I tried putting myself back together, still shaking I walked back over.

 

“S—Sorry.” I looked at the ground, this is why I won't make it out of here. I looked back over to Kenny, Carlos was trying to take a look at him.

 

Bonnie looked at Carlos, “Do your best with him, Carlos. You need to get him able to move, 'cause we're leavin' tonight. I have the supplies ready.” … wait, Bonnie knows? I shot her a confused look, she looked over at me “Clem told me yesterday, I'm comin' with y'all.”.

 

I could hear fast breathing, I looked around, seeing Sarah standing there wide eyed. Shit, I forgot she was here. I crouched in front of her, “Sarah, can ya hear me?” I got a tiny nod in return “Ya need to calm down...uh, try taking some deep breaths...w-while countin' to ten.” I had no idea if this would help.

 

I demonstrated, taking a deep breath in “One.” and then breathing out, I continued doing it up to five. I watched Sarah take deep breaths, whispering out numbers, after a while her breathing went back to normal.

 

Nick spoke up, “So... what now?”.

 

Luke responded almost right away, “We should rest up, it's gonna be a rough night.”

 

I walked over to the bunks, climbing up into mine. I looked into my bag, making sure everything was in there... I wish I had my knife. I curled up, dosing off...

 

I could hear the sounds of walkers, I opened my eyes. I was outside, on a side of a road. This was no doubt when Troy saved me... I could see walkers getting closer out the corner of my eye, but I kept my focus on the road, Troy would come save me any second now... Where is he? A walker fell on me, aiming for my neck. I struggled, but no matter how hard I tried the walker got closer. CHOMP-- It bit right down on my neck, the next walker piling on and biting my leg. I tried but I couldn't scream, I could only watch as blood poured from me. This is a dream, this isn't real, I just need to remember that.

 

I snapped out of my slumber when I felt something warm brush against my arm, I shot up, tears in my eyes. Looking down I saw Luke with his hand stretched out, “You okay...? You were makin' noises--”'

 

I mustered up the strength to talk, “Y-Yeah...I'm fine.” the shaking of my body said a different story. Luke gave me a knowing stare, but didn't press me further on the matter.

 

I hopped out of bed, walking back with Luke to the fire. Everybody was circled around it, including Kenny and Sarita who were both up now. I stared at Kenny's face, an eye patch is covering his left eye... I looked around, Sarah wasn't here anymore... wasn't she just here? _FLASH_ \-- I was blinded by a bright light for a second, I looked around, seeing Sarah on my bunk with my camera.

 

I heard Carlos sigh, “ _Sarah._ Come over here.”. I watched as she put the camera back in the bag and closed it, jumping back down and walking over to Carlos.

 

“Well, everybody's up, so what now?” Luke spoke up, bringing the more important topic to light.

 

Kenny's answered, “We get the hell out of here.”.

 

“Like now, now?” Luke questioned, aw man I'm sure as hell not ready for this. Life never does wait for you to be ready though, does it?

 

Rebecca shouted a “Yes!” at Luke, she looked anxious to get out, who could blame her though?

 

Kenny leaned closer to the group, “Where are we goin'? In case things get squirrely and we gotta make a break for it, we need a place to meet up.”.

 

“We could meet out at Parker's Run.” Mike suggested, but where was that?

 

Kenny's voice became harsher, “The hell is that?”

 

Mike explained, “It's a Civil War site a few miles north. Tourist trap. Got signs all over. Just follow the road.”.

 

“We stopped there after we escaped the first time. Luke and Carlos know where it is, it's not that far.” Rebecca joined in.

 

Kenny reasoned with everybody for once, “Well, at least if a few folks know where it's at, it'll be easier to find if we're split up. All right, that works.”

 

Luke interjected, “Then we just need someone to go set off that PA, right? I mean, you never bothered to explain who's supposed to do that.” I felt like it was obvious who Kenny wanted to do it, I looked over to Clementine, and it looks like everybody else knew too.

 

“Wait, wait. Hold on, she's the plan?” Luke protested.

 

I heard a small sigh come from Clementine, “Let's go.” I watched as we all walked over, Mike boosting Clementine onto the rope she'd use before getting the radios.

 

“Be sure to remember to flip the switch for the outdoor speakers. Just the indoor speakers might not draw the herd. It's right on the microphone box. By default it's set to play music, so you should just have to turn it on, right? Then climb back up and drop into the stockroom. We'll meet you there.” Rebecca reminded her.

 

“Down into the office, outdoor speaker switch, turn on PA, up to the roof, down into the stockroom to meet you guys. That right?” Clementine repeated, I can't believe she remembered all of that, _I_ barely remembered that. This little girl is not only tough, but smart, I can only hope she stays safe.

 

Rebecca smiled up at her, “Perfect.”.

 

Mike started pulling Clementine up to the roof, I couldn't help but call up to her “Be careful, hon!”.

 

She looked down, “I will.” I could see her smiling a tiny bit.

 

Once Clementine was on the roof I ran over to my bunk, grabbing my bag, putting it over my shoulder. I walked over to Nick and Luke, ready to tell them I might not be able to go with them... god how do I say this? I want to go with them but I can't promise-- “James, you're comin' with us, right?” Luke asked me, interrupting my thoughts.

 

Luke caught me off guard, I spat out a “I—uh, yeah.” while scratching my neck. I can do this, it's just some guts... and blood. Wow, I am horrible at this. Suddenly music started playing, loudly. Was it time already?

 

The door to the pen opened, Bonnie running in with a bag, “Here, hurry up.”. I ran over to the bag, looking in to see a bunch of guns and other things, our weapons? I rummaged through with everybody else, picking up my knife. I looked around, everybody had a weapon now, well except for Sarah.

 

Rebecca started walking out of the pen, “Come on.”. I followed right behind Rebecca and Bonnie, I had no idea where the stockroom was. We somehow slipped by without getting caught, who knew Kenny would be right on this. We entered into this big room, with a door similar to the pens which I assume leads to the outside.

 

I started worrying, “Where is Clem? Shouldn't she be here?”, I swear if this little girl got hurt...

 

“Calm down, she'll be here.” Nick reassured me, I held my knife close to me, something didn't feel right.

 

I heard footsteps, “Drop your weapons, _now_.”. I turned around, seeing Bill walk in with a gun pointed at us. Whilst lowering my knife Bill continued to instruct us, “Put your arms up.”. I raised my hands, which were now shaking from a mix of fear and adrenaline.

 

Bill started pacing, getting closer to us “You wanna disrespect me? Fine. You wanna throw away the life... I'm tryin' to build for us all... then fuckin' fine! You wanna run off with this dogshit group of crippled fucks, then fine! Be my guest.” I heard a slight noise, looking up I saw Clementine, she was going for Bill. I tensed up and looked back to Bill, trying not to give her position away. Bill pointed his gun at Rebecca, “But I will put a bullet in you _and_ that baby before I let you leave again with my child!” Wait, the baby is Bills?

 

Clementine jumped down, her foot landing on Bill's head, causing him to fall forward. While trying to catch his balance I watched as Kenny punched him in the face, Luke disarming him as he fell towards him.

 

Luke pointed the gun at Bill, “Get back.”. Everybody else and I took this as a chance to pick our weapons back up. Bill raised his arms.

 

“Come on, Luke. This ain't none of your business.” Bill looked over at Rebecca, “This's just a bit of a custody battle we got on our hands, here.”

 

Rebecca looked at Luke, “Shoot him.”. I looked over at her, I couldn't help but be a bit wide-eyed at her.

 

Clementine looked up at Luke, “We should tie him up.”. That sounded like a good idea.

 

Luke nodded his head, “Yeah... yeah, okay, okat, we got any rope--” _BANG—_ a bullet went through Bill's knee as he screamed in pain, I jumped, looking over at the source of the bullet. Kenny. _BANG,_ another bullet went through the other knee, causing Bill to fall. Shit, can he even get up now?

 

I watched Kenny walk over to the other side of the room, picking up a crowbar. He looked back at us, “Go on and wait outside.”. I looked around, watching Jane, Mike, and Bonnie leave right away.

 

“Kenny, please.” Sarita pleaded, I touched her shoulder. She looked over at me and all I could do was shake my head, there was no talking Kenny out of this.

 

Kenny looked down at Bill, “I only need a minute.” His gaze turned to Clementine “Go on. You don't need to see this.”

 

“That girl's already seen more than you can imagine.” Bill remarked, his voice strained with pain.

 

“Shut your mouth, Bill!” Luke yelled, anger in his eyes, “You're all just gonna let him do this?”

 

Rebecca looked over at Luke, “Yes.”.

 

Luke sighed, “There ain't one part of that son of a bitch I don't hate, but that does not make this right.”.

 

I stepped forward a tiny bit, “Ken, just leave him. The walkers....the walkers will get to him anyway, so right now we need to go! Do ya really want him messing up our chance of getting' out easily? T-Think about it, Ken.” I have to try to reason with him, Bill is dead no matter what.

 

Kenny turned towards me a tiny bit, “It's got to be done.”.

 

Bill started to talk again, “Look at you... you fuckin' ingrates. You don't even know how good you got it.” I turned to see Sarah, Carlos, Luke and Nick walk out. I wanted to walk out to, but something was keeping me from leaving. “That's all right... you'll learn. Lambs to the slaughter... No shepherd to guide you. Clementine knows exactly what I'm talkin' about.”.

 

Sarita walked up to Clementine, “Come on.”

 

Bill kept on talking “Fuckin' big man now, huh?”

 

Sarita pressed Clementine further “Let's go!”

 

Clementine shook her head, “No.”

 

“I'm not letting you see this!” Sarita grabbed her shoulder.

 

Clementine looked up at Sarita, “It's not your decision.”.

 

Why wasn't I leaving? Nick and Luke are waiting outside for me...

 

“Atta girl... she ain't afraid to look it in the eye. You go with that feelin' ya got right now, Clementine. It's what makes you stronger than the rest of them.” Sarita walked out of the building, leaving just me, Clementine, Kenny, and Rebbeca to send Bill off.

 

“How's that eye? Just follow my voice... it'll get ya there. You got a thick fuckin' skull, Kenneth. Should've put you outta your misery right then... now look at ya. You're a mess.” his attention turned to Rebecca “The fuck are you looking at, bitch? Don't act like you didn't love every second of it—” Kenny hit him upside the head with the crowbar, then slammed it down onto his head.

 

Blood splattered, flowing from Bill's head. God, I feel sick. Bill's face was a mess now, I couldn't handle it, running out of the room and to the outside.

 

As I ran out, shaking, Luke grabbed my shoulder “Are you okay--” I couldn't help it, I puked on him. “Shit, man.”

 

I started to stutter out words, “S-s-sorry...” I looked over, seeing the cut open walker, Sarah now being wiped down with the guts. I had to do _this_?

 

Bonnie walked over, handing me a bag, I noticed some other people were carrying bags too. I shot her a confused look, she replied with “Supplies, we're gonna need them.”. I nodded my head.

 

Luke interjected, “James, ya need some guts.”. I looked at him, “I've figured out by now you're not good with these things, but you just...you just need to. Okay?” I just nodded my head, walking over to the walker Nick and Sarita were using to cover themselves.

 

Nick was covering himself with the guts, “Man, we're never gonna make it through this.”.

 

Luke looked at him, “You kidding me? If Clem can handle it, you can.”

 

I stared down at the walker, it was dead, but the sigh of the gore... I don't think I can-- Suddenly there was blood and guts on my chest. I looked up to see Nick staring at me, I inhaled, smearing the blood all over. I can do this, no problemo.

 

I could hear Jane sigh, “Hurry the fuck up.”.

 

Everybody was leaving now, Nick started walking, I tried to follow him but I was grabbed by something... moreso _someone._

 

“What in the actual fuck is going on here?!” It was Troy, shit.

 

I tried remaining calm, looking over I saw everybody leaving “T-Troy, calm down... we were--”.

 

Troy's face scrunched up, “What is this sick shit? Answer me before I start--”

 

I interrupted, “We are leavin', Troy. Keep yer voice down, you'll attract them.”. They were right next to us at this point. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a bullet dodge right pass Carlos' neck, hitting a walker that was right next to Sarita. Talk about lucky.

 

“Don't you fuckin' tell me what to do.” Troy raised his hand to hit me, but I pushed him, causing him to fall down. Before I could process what I just did I realized I had pushed Troy into a walker. A walker that was crawling on the ground grabbed his arm, biting down on his hand, it... it was Reggie. I pulled Troy up, kicking the undead Reggie away from us. Troy looked down at his hand, wide eyed, and back up at me. This wasn't what the plan was.

 

I heard a painful yelp come from the crowd, it was Nick. Did he get bitten too? I could see him turn around... he's coming back? He's holding his shoulder, please don't be bitten. While Nick was making his way over I took some of the guts from me, tried my best not to be sick, and put them on Troy, “What in the f--” he tried protesting.

 

“Shut up, I'm savin' yer life.” I did owe him one, after all he did save mine. I felt a hand touch me, making me jump. Turning around I saw it was Nick. I whispered to him, “A-Are ya okay? Did ya get bit?”.

 

He whispered back, his voice dripping with pain, “No, we need to go.” I looked over at Troy, watching him roll his eyes and shrug his shoulders, he didn't really have a choice. We slowly weaved our way through the walkers, heading for the area least compacted. Once we were somewhat in the clear we started running, running as far away as we could get.

 

This was definitely not how the plan was supposed to go.


	10. Familiar Faces

# Chapter 10: Familiar Faces

 

My legs were starting to ache. I'm surprised Nick and Troy have kept up with me. It's been a good 15 to 20 minutes since we started running, my eyes glanced at Troy's hand... “Guys, stop.”

 

We came to a halt, Nick looking over to me “What?”. I could see the hole in his shoulder, no doubt from a bullet.

 

“We have to take care of Troy's hand... and yer shoulder.” I lifted up the bag Bonnie had given me, “Lets see if there's any medical supplies here, okay?”

 

“Take care of the hand? I'm _bit_ , asshole.” Troy raised his hand, showing his bleeding hand, “There aint no fixing this.”. Troy was right, he was bit, that's a death sentence...

 

Nick spoke up, “Then we cut it off.” I looked over at Nick, “That's the only way.”.

 

“Cut it off? What are you gonna do that with?! I don't see somethin' to cut it!” I looked down at my knife that was in my pocket, I took it out, Troy's eyes looking at it then up at me “No fuckin' way.”

 

I shuddered at the thought of what was going to happen, “Troy, he have to. We don't have anything else.”

 

I saw horror glaze over Troy's face “F-Fuck, I don't wanna die...” He sighed, looking at my knife “Don't fuck this up, okay?”

 

I nodded my head, we all sat down as I dug through the supplies bag. I felt something plastic, pulling it out I saw a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, digging around some more I found bandages. Great, this will help a lot. I looked over at Nick, “Um... I guess I'm doin' this?”

 

Nick looked at me, “I can't move my arm, I'd fuck it up.”.

 

“Somebody better fuckin' do it!” Troy yelled, making his way towards me.

 

I gulped, “O-Okay... Troy, take off yer belt. I...I need to cut the circulation on yer arm.”

 

I watched as he started fiddling around with his belt, taking it off, “Are you sure?”

 

I scratched the back of my head, “Y-Yeah...I think. I saw this in a movie once.”

 

Troy glared at me, “Are you fuckin' kidding me?” his face twisted with regret, but he shrugged that off and handed me his belt.

 

I grabbed the belt, tightening it above his wrist. “... You ready?” Okay, I can do this, I won't puke... I  _might_ puke.

 

Troy nodded, “ _Please_ don't fuck this up.”. I took a breath in, lifting up the knife— _SQUISH_ , I swung knife down. I cringed at the noise, Troy yelped, biting his lip. I swung down again, hearing blood squish against the knife. I held my breath, trying not to think about the blood.

 

I swung down again, Troy screamed as I pulled back up. “Sorry!”, I didn't know what else to say. I took a peek at the wrist, I could see his bone exposed, I gagged at the sight of the mess I've made. “A-Almost done.” I don't know if I was reassuring myself or Troy.

 

As I swung down I heard a crunch, I must've broken the bone. Troy started screaming, “HOLY SHIT, HURRY UP.”

 

I quickly swung down, finally cutting through the wrist. I looked up at Troy's face, he was crying... “I... I'm sorry, Troy.”. I grabbed the peroxide, pouring it onto the open wound. I heard Troy hiss in pain but there was no way I was gonna stop now, we didn't go through this for this wound to get infected... I started to wrap up the stump, it wasn't the best wrap job but it will do.

 

“Holy shit.” I heard Nick groan, I looked over at him, hanging my head slightly. I caused this, I was the one who pushed Troy. What if it was too late? What if he loses too much blood?

 

“My hand, you cut off my hand...” Troy started muttering quietly. I went to put my hand on his shoulder, but he backed away. Staring at me with a mix of fear and anger.

 

I heard another groan coming from Nick, this time it sounded more painful, I turned around to see his fingers in the bullet wound. I ran over to him, “Nick! What're ya doin'?!”.

 

“I'm gettin' this damn bullet out, that's what i'm doin'.” he hissed out in pain, jamming his fingers harder into the wound.

 

“S-Stop! Yer bein' reckless, ya can't be so rough...” I grabbed his hand as he tried to go further into the wound, “What is yer problem?!”

 

Nick took his hand out of the wound, shaking off my hand. “All of my friends could be deador worse. I left Luke by himself to go with _you,_ so don't you fucking ask me what my problem is.”

 

I stared at Nick, I didn't even think about that... I just met these people but Nick, he knew them. He was even close to some of them. He's probably going through _hell_ right now, and who could blame him? I know what it's like not knowing if your friend is dead or not... “Shit, man. I'm... I'm sorry. I shouldn't be actin' like an ass, yer goin' through it right now.” I looked at the bullet hole, my head hurting as I questioned Nick “You... need some help with that?”

 

Nick sighed, “I guess so...”. I inched closer to Nick, looking the the front and back of his shoulder.

 

“The bullet went through.” I told Nick, why was he even putting his fingers in there? I took some hydrogen peroxide and poured it into the wound, Nick cringed but kept himself from yelling. I then grabbed some of the bandages, wrapping it around his shoulder. “That's all I can do... we'll have Carlos look at you when we get there. I just need to... take a minute.” I got up, walking away from the group.

 

I walked for a couple of minutes, I could hear the sound of flowing water, I passed through some more bushes to find a tiny creek. I sat myself down near the water, unzipping my bag, I pulled out my picture of Farah. Shit, I forgot I had blood on my hands... I tried to rub it off but in the end I just stained the picture. I sighed, looking down at her now blood stained face. I wish I could see her again, her big brown eyes, her tiny nose...

 

I could hear the rustling of bushes, was it Nick? I turned around to be met with a walker, I jumped a tiny bit, trying to move out of the way. I was too late, the walker fell onto me, causing my to hit my head against the ground _hard_. I started to wrestle the walker, keep it off of me. This walker didn't look too old... too rotten I mean, the person who once was in this body definitely was an older man. He had short white hair... his eyes seemed familiar. This wasn't time for examining walkers though, I had to get this thing off of me. I started to struggle harder, trying with all of my might to push it off... I wasn't gonna be able to. I'm just not strong enough for that. Damn, I left my knife back with Troy. How could I be so _stupid_? Fuck, this thing is gonna tear my throat out if I don't think of something--

 

My train of thought got cut off as I looked over, seeing Nick standing about a foot away from me. His face looked... shocked. “N-Nick! Get this thing offa me, would ya?!” I was trying my hardest to keep this walker off, “Nick, please!” What was he doing?! He has a rifle with him! I started to lose control as the walker got closer to me, “D-Dammit Ni-” BANG, the walker fell down next to me. I shuffled backwards, grabbing the picture of Farah.

 

I looked over at Nick, he was frozen there with his rifle still raised. Suddenly, he dropped the rifle, slowly walking over to the corpse. He knelt down next to it, I could see his eyes soften up. Was he about to cry?

 

I crawled over, sitting next to him. “Did ya know him...?”. I could tell by the look on his face that he did.

 

He lifted his head up, “That was my Uncle Pete...”. Oh my god, why was he a walker?

 

“What... happened to him? Do ya know?” I rested my hand on his back, slightly rubbing it.

 

“We were down by a river with Clementine, goin' to catch some fish... We got surrounded by lurkers, I told Clem to go help him but she ran to me... I tried my best but I... I couldn't get them off him in time.” Nick slammed his hands onto the ground, “Goddammit.... Clem told me he was already bit. I should've been there sooner...”

 

“I'm so sorry... you shouldn't have had to do that.” I looked down at the walker, this was once a person... it's hard to remember that sometimes.

 

Nick looked over at me, “It's fine... I'm just glad you're okay, I'm tired of losing people...”.

 

“The fuck is going on here?” I heard Troy's voice, turning around to see him standing there with the supply bag in his hand.

 

“Nothin', let's keep moving. We gotta find the others.” Nick replied, getting up and walking away. I got up and walked after him, I heard Troy sigh as he followed behind me.

 

I turned my head towards Troy, “Listen, man. I'm real sorry 'bout what happened back there...”.

 

Troy glared at me, “That shit was messed up, but I'm fine.”. I took the bag out of his hand as we walked, it was heavy with me holding it with both hands, I couldn't imagine it with only one. “I've been nothin' but an asshole to you, why did you help me?”.

 

I pondered that question myself, why did I help him? “You saved me before, so I figured I owed ya one...”

 

We walked for what seemed to be an hour or two, I kept checking on Troy to see any changes but it looks like the hand was cut off in time.

 

From a distance I could see people, it looked like Bonnie and Mike... ? I started to run towards them, almost dropping the supply bag a few times. “H-Hey guys!” I yelled out to them, causing everybody to look over in my direction. Bonnie ran over, grabbing the bag out of my hands.

 

“Are y'all alright?!” Bonnie scanned over the three of us, stopping when she saw Troy. “Troy?! What happened to ya?!”

 

“I got bit, James cut my arm off so I didn't die.” Troy raised his stump, the bandages were stained with blood.

 

“We need to get them fixed up, is Carlos here” I questioned her, I don't know what we're gonna do if he isn't here...

 

“Yeah, come on.” Bonnie replied, rushing back over to the group with Troy. Following close behind I could see everyone's face change as Troy came in.

 

Carlos looked at Troy's stump, “You want me to help _him_? After what he's done?”.

 

“Carlos, I'm beggin' ya here. Please.” I pleaded, but i'm pretty sure they fell on deaf ears.

 

Sarah walked up behind her dad, “James is a nice guy, so he wouldn't do something if he thought it was a bad idea... can you help him, dad?”.

 

Carlos looked at his daughter, then back at me “Fine, but only this once... “

 

I nodded my head, “Thank you, Carlos.”. I saw Luke coming towards me out of the corner of my eye.

 

“I'm glad you're okay, was worried 'bout y'all.” Luke patted my shoulder, smiling at me.

 

“Y-Yeah, you too... ya need help with anything?” It was nice to see that Luke was genuinely worried, I don't think many people were.

 

“Sarita and I were gonna head on down to the museum near by, Rebecca's havin' the baby soon and we need a place for her to have it. Since you're here maybe you could go down, I'll stay with Nick 'til he's fixed up.” Luke filled me in on what was happening, I nodded, heading over to Sarita.

 

“Ah, you're okay. I heard you and Nick scream...” Sarita smiled as she started to walk down a path that I assumed that was heading towards the museum.

 

After a couple of minutes of walking we reached a big building, there was a horrible smell emitting from inside, but I walked into the building anyway. There were a group of children, _dead_ children, lined up against the wall together with an adult in the middle... they all had gunshots to the head. I shivered at the sight, this world has gone to shit...

 

I heard the click of a door unlocking, I turned my head to see the door to the small ticket booth open, an older man came walking out.

 

“Long time no see, JJ.”.


	11. Family Affairs

# Chapter 11: Family Affairs

 

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop thinking. Why did he call me JJ... how does he even know my name? The back of my head started to ache, must've been from when I hit the ground earlier...

  
  


“Do you know this man?” I heard Sarita ask... what do I say? There's something so familiar about him... I looked over at him. His hazel eyes were watching me like a hawk, black hair slicked back, this guy looked pretty much like an older me. I looked down towards his belt, noticing a rather shiny looking pistol, what was this guy planning on doing?

  
  


“Y-Yeah...” I mumbled out, I couldn't pretend _not_ to know the guy. The signs were obvious, him knowing me and him _looking_ like an older me.... This was my dad.

  
  


The man started to laugh, “What's with that weak 'yeah'? Boy, of course ya know yer father! C'mere!”. He opened up his arms wide. I groaned as I had flashbacks of being under the water, his rugged hands holding me down... this was Joe Lesmer. I started to shiver slightly as I walked up to him. He wrapped me in a strong embrace, leaning close to my ear whispering to me, “Yer lucky you weren't alone.”. He let go of me, but didn't take his arm off of my shoulder.

  
  


I watched at Joe eyed up Sarita, “Now I don't mean to be rude, but I sure could use a bite to eat, Miss...?”.

  
  


Sarita smiled warmly, “My name is Sarita, would you like to come back with us? I'm sure there's something for you.”.

  
  


“Ah, Miss Sarita.... M'Names Joe. That sounds just great.” Joe yanked on my arm, signaling me to go with him and Sarita. I pulled back, earning a stare from both of them.

  
  


“I-I'm gonna stay back, look for...for some...supplies.” I took my arm out of Joe's grip, walking to the opposite side of the museum, “I'll make sure it's safe for Rebecca too...”. I saw Sarita nod, then walk out with Joe.

  
  


I couldn't hold myself together any longer, I had to sit down for a moment. I...I just let _him_ into our group! What was I thinking?! What if something happens to Sarita? Oh god, Sarah and Clementine.... What have I done...? Putting my hands on my head I contemplated what my actions could bring. This could get somebody killed. Please, if it does... let it be me. I don't want anybody getting hurt because I messed up.

  
  


It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out if this place is safe. There's no doors here! I slowly got up, walking over to the corpses lined up against the wall... They all had a bullet wound in their head, they don't look like they ever turned either. They were so tiny... they must've been around 9 at most.

  
  


I took glances at their name tags, they were peeling off but I could still read them pretty well. Angela, Danny, Megan, Kevin, Logan, Ethan, Fred... Now that I look at them, I realize how many there were. Sighing, I looked around the museum some more. I saw a pile of backpacks thrown into a corner, maybe there's something in there? I opened up a light orange backpack that had a bunny sticker on it, finding a pack of markers, a notebook, and a tube of bubblegum chapstick... Huh, I know who would want this. I picked up a white bag with a tiny bee sticker, searching through it I found the same contents as the first, along with a pack of chalk. I could feel a tiny smile form on my face, I'm sure two certain kids will enjoy this.

  
  


I put each bag on a different shoulder, when I saw something shiny out of the corner of my eye. Turning around I saw a gun in the hand of what I assume was the teacher. I walked over, checking the gun for bullets, it had a few leftover. I threw it into the orange backpack, I could hear footsteps coming, I gotta hide-- Oh... it's just Bonnie with Mike, Clementine was tagging behind with them.

  
  


“Oh, my god...” Bonnie whispered under her breath as she saw the children, turning her gaze over to me, “You're still back here? I thought ya went back already...”.

  
  


“Nah, I'm headin' back right now... so, uh, seeya...?” Man, could I get anymore awkward? I saw Bonnie hold back a laugh as I walked out. Once out of sight I started running, I needed to get back.

  
  


I could faintly see Luke and Nick sitting on the ground, standing up as they saw me running. “Hey, slow down... You okay?” Luke put his hand on my shoulder.

  
  


“Oh, um, y-yeah...”, I scratched the back of my head. Looking over I saw that Nick has new bandages, he's looking better too, “Carlos patch ya up already?”.

  
  


“Yeah, said I would've bled out if I waited to patch it up...” I watched as he shuffled his foot around a bit, looking down at me, “So... thanks.”

  
  


“Oh, uh, no problem...” I chuckled, patting Nick's shoulder, causing him to flinch “Shit, sorry.”. Luke joined in with Nick and I as we all laughed together.

  
  


I looked around, seeing no sign of Joe. Did he really just take some food and leave? That's a relief, but I don't really know if I should trust it or not.

  
  


I could hear laughter behind me, turning around I saw Mike carrying two jugs of water, Clementine and Bonnie following behind him. I went up to Clementine, “Clem, you got a minute? I need to tell you and Sarah somethin'.”. Clementine shot me a concerned look as she nodded her head.

  
  


I looked around for Sarah, she was sitting with Rebecca. I headed over with Clementine, sitting down across from Sarah and Rebecca. I smiled at Sarah, “What're you two talkin' about?”.

  
  


“We're planning baby names.” Rebecca replied, soon letting out a groan of pain. This reminded me of when Quinn was in labor... heh, Farah took 26 hours to come out. I could remember those hours as if it was yesterday, I was only 13 at the time, so I missed school the next day.

  
  


“I was thinking about Ella!” Sarah exclaimed, gleaming with joy.

  
  


“Aww, that sounds cute... Clem, Sarah, close yer eyes for a sec. Okay?” I instructed, taking the backpacks off my shoulders once they closed their eyes, plopping the orange one into Sarah's lap and the white one into Clem's lap.

  
  


I looked over at Rebecca as the girls opened their eyes, I could see a genuine smile form on her face. Sarah looked over at me, “What's this?”.

  
  


I bit my lip, smiling, “Open it!”. I watched Clementine and Sarah open their bags, their faces lighting up as they looked inside.

  
  


Clementine took out the notebook, already starting to color in it with her new markers. Sarah's face twisted in confusion as she pulled out the pistol I put in there, “Is this for me...?”

  
  


“Jesus, you gave her a gun?!” Rebecca yelled at me.

  
  


I flinched at Rebecca's loudness, “SShe needs to be able to protect herself, Bec!”. 

  
  


“And how is she gonna do that? She doesn't even know how to use it!” Rebecca argued against me, she had me there... Sarah  _ didn't _ know how to use a gun. 

  
  


“Actually.... Clementine showed me, back at the cabin.” Sarah remarked, looking down at her new gun.

  
  


“She what?!” Rebecca looked over at Clementine, “Clementine!”.

  
  


“She asked me to! It's not like it was loaded!” Clementine defended, sighing as she looked over at me.

  
  


“I want to be able to protect myself...” Sarah said as she put the gun back into her backpack.

  
  


“I know sweetie, just... just ask your dad first. Okay?” Rebecca said as she groaned in pain.

  
  


I saw Jane walk up behind Clementine, “I'm taking Clem to check out the deck, we won't be long.”, then walked away with Clementine following behind her.

  
  


I looked around, “Bec, where's Troy?”, I didn't see him at all.

  
  


“He's...” Rebecca moaned in pain “He's in the tent.”.

  
  


I nodded as I headed over to the tiny green tent near the entrance of the site, slowly opening the curtain of the tent.

  
  


Troy was sitting there, just.... _staring_ at his stump. I sat down next to him, “You... okay?”.

  
  


He spoke up, “I can still feel it movin'... it's fuckin' weird.”, looking over at me. I took a seat down next to him, sympathetically patting him on his back a bit.

 

“... That took some balls, you know.” Troy spoke up, looking me in the eyes.

 

“You were dying, anybody would do it.” I retorted, my head clouding with thoughts of earlier...

 

Troy shook his head, “I wouldn't. Hell, I don't think half of the people out there would either. ”. That made me think, would they really not? I could see somebody like Sarita doing it, she was kind... she reminded me of my mom in a way.

 

“ _James!_ ” I heard my name being yelled from outside the tent, that masculine spanish voice could be none other than Carlos. I looked over at Troy, he gave me a nod and I stepped out of the tent. As soon as I got out I was face to face with the doctor. “What is this?” he asked, holding out the gun I had given Sarah earlier.

 

I sighed, “Listen, I can explain, she needs--”, I was cut off by the doctors yelling.

 

Carlos' face scrunched up, “What do you know about what children need?! This is _my_ daughter, you do not know what she needs, she is not like other children--” I cut the doctor off this time.

 

“Doc, she needs to learn! You can't have her bein' a liability! I know pretty well what a child needs, and it's protection! I'm tryin' to help your girl, I didn't even get a chance to help my own--” I closed my mouth quickly, not wanting to finish my sentence. I could see Carlos giving me a questioning look. As I walked away I gave Carlos some advice, “Listen, keep the gun if you want... just know that you might not be there when she needs it.”. Man, that felt cold to say, I just want her to be safe... maybe I pushed it.

 

I walked over to Bonnie, who was sitting on a picnic table, “You alright?” she asked.

 

“Heh, could be better.” I replied, sitting up on the table next to her, “I just... I want to make sure things go well, but I seem to make them worse. You ever feel like that?”

 

Bonnie glanced over at Kenny and Sarita, “... Yeah. I got'cha.”. She turned her attention back to me, “You did what you thought was right. You’re a good man, James.”.

 

I gave her a small grin, “Thanks, Bon.”. Looking over, I saw Nick biting his nails in his usual pensive pose.

 

“What happened back there? With Nick and Troy?” Bonnie asked.

 

My grin went away as I thought of it, Troy's screams ringing in my head. “Troy came out when y'all were leavin', started fightin' with him... he got bit. Nick got shot, we all ran for it, it was a mess, Bon.” I brushed a hand through my hair, “I had to cut off the hand, fuck, didn't know what I was doin'. I got attacked by a walker later, Nick saved me... It was his uncle.”.

 

Bonnie eyes widened, “Pete? That must be... hard on him.”.

 

“Yeah, I can't even imagine... You knew Nick before the breakout, right? Was he always like this?” I questioned, Nick was... unstable. It was natural given the circumstances. I don't think any of use are completely stable.

 

Bonnie stared at Nick while she talked, “He's never been an optimist, that's for sure. He's not like Luke, he has trouble with things...”.

 

“Speakin' of Luke, are you two...?” I stopped talking as Bonnie looked over at me, “I mean, ya just, um--”

 

Bonnie laughed softly, “No, we aren't. We almost were... Luke stopped it.”, her eyes saddened. I got the impression Bonnie still had feelings for him.

 

“Oh, uh, sorry... I should probably go check up on Clem n' Jane. They've been gone a while.” I slid myself off the table, heading in the direction I saw Jane and Clementine walking towards earlier.

 

As I walked closer I could see the deck. I opened my mouth to call out to Clementine, but then I saw something was off. Jane was holding a boy at gun point, what was going on here?

 

I could hear a thick Russian accent yelling, “No! You are not nice people! You have already left me defenseless and now you take my sister's medicine?”. Medicine? What're they doing up there?! I couldn't hear what they were saying anymore, but I saw Jane slam the boy into the rail, putting a gun to his head. Should I step in? What do I do?!

 

Jane let go of the boy, and he quickly took his leave, limping away. “What's goin' on?” Luke's voice startled me, making me jump a bit.

 

I got up from my hiding spot, “There was a guy, Jane was... well I'd rather not assume. You should probably ask her yourself.”. I shrugged, maybe that guy was a threat. I didn't know what happened so I shouldn't say anything. I walked back to where everybody was, trying not to start anymore trouble today.

 

Sarita came walking up to me, “Did you see your father?”.

 

I shuffled my foot around a tiny bit, “Oh, uh, no. He was gone already when I came back. He get some food?”.

 

I couldn't say I wasn't happy he decided to leave, I can't say I believe he's gone either. Now I might've only been 7 when it all happened, but I remember how he was. Bastard would come home and go off the deep end, he held grudges for the stupidest things. He was a perfectionist, needed the job done and done right. Back then, during the whole tub incident, he got interrupted.

 

At that time I just met Devin, he always came around my house no matter how many times I told him not to... I'm glad he didn't give up that one day. He saw everything that happened and ran for it, my dad ran after him but it was too late. Devin had my neighbors calling the cops and well... the angry man with blood on his hands chasing after him was enough proof for them to call.

 

“James, are you okay?” Sarita spoke up, snapping me out of the daze I was in. Shit, I totally zoned out.

 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry, mom--”, did I just call her mom? “Ah, sorry--”

 

Sarita started laughing, “It's alright.”. She took a closer look at my face, “You're looking awfully pale, do you need something to drink?”

 

“Oh—Yes, please.” I replied, watching as Sarita rummaged through one of our supply bags, pulling out a bottle of water. “Thanks...”, Sarita and I parted ways after that, I headed over to Nick. Maybe he needed someone to talk to after that whole Pete thing.

 

Nick stopped biting his nails as he looked over at me, “Hey.”

 

“Hey... You, uh, doin' okay?” I tilted my head down, “That whole thing... with your uncle--”

 

“I don't want to talk about it.” Nick solemnly stated, his expression darkening.

 

“Oh, that's okay-- We don't have'ta, um...” I kept trying to spark a conversation, but what would we talk about? How I nearly got Troy killed? How I fought with Carlos? Maybe I should just be friendly. “Want some?” I asked, holding out my bottle of water.

 

“Sure...” Nick took the bottle out of my hand, twisting off the cap and taking a swig of the water. Now if this was normal life I wouldn't be asking a guy if he wanted my drink, but in this situation it was necessary, right? Why am I reassuring myself? God, I'm a loser. Nick spoke up, “It's getting dark.”

 

I looked up at the sky, it was getting dark fast, “Y-Yeah... I think Clem n' Jane found a good place for Bec. Speakin' of Jane I haven't seen her in a while, or Luke...”

 

“Oh, no... Clem... Clementine....” I hear Sarah whimpering, turning around I saw what she was seeing.


	12. Tension

# Chapter 12: Tension

 

Nick shouted, “Shit! Lurkers!”. I watched as he raised his rifle up, not shooting just yet.

 

The tent started rustling, with a panicked Troy walking out, “What's goin-- Fuck, you guys just gonna stand around here or are we goin'?!”.

 

“How'd they get that close without anyone seeing 'em? Wh'the hell's Luke?” Mike shouted, annoyance clear in his voice.

 

My eyes went wide, “We gotta go!”. Troy was right, we're just standing here. Walkers aren't gonna wait for us to get our act together.

 

“You just keep that baby safe.” Kenny slowly started to walk towards the horde, what is wrong with this guy?

 

“No, Kenny, we need to leave!” Sarita pleaded, grabbing onto his arm.

 

Kenny shoved Sarita off of him, turning to face her and yelled, “Go!”.

 

“We can't stay here!” Bonnie yelled, helping Rebecca up with the assistance of Carlos.

 

“Clementine! Where's the place you and Jane found?” Rebecca groaned in pain, I can't imagine how messed up this must be for her. Nobody deserves to give birth to this.

 

“This way!” Clementine started walking towards the deck, everybody following her. I looked over at Kenny, he was just bashing the same walker in the head... Should I go stop him?

 

“C'mon, we ain't waitin' for him!” Nick called over to me, I started running. Troy and Nick tagged with me, seemed to be an ongoing pattern, all of us together.

 

Somehow we got in front of everybody. Running up the stairs of the deck as fast as I could I heard Luke talking, “... that's about as human as I've felt in a long time. I almost forgot what--”. I turned to go into the building, just a second ahead of Troy and Nick, stopping as I saw Luke and Jane sitting next to each other. So that's where he was....

 

I tilted my head slightly, “What're you guys doin'...?”. It took me a minute but after seeing Luke's pants barely on and Jane's jacket off I finally put two and two together, “Oh, uh...”.

 

“James?!” Luke yelled out, his eyes widening, “Jesus, It's not... um.”

 

Nick walked up behind me, face scrunching up as he saw the scene infront of him, “Luke...? Are you fucking kidding me?”.

 

We we slightly pushed out of the way by Bonnie as she helped Rebecca into the gift shop, “In here, let's get you comfortable.”.

 

Tension got worse when Kenny walked in, noticing what was going on right away, “What the fuck are you two doing up here?”

 

Luke stood up, fumbling with his belt as he spoke, “What's going on?!”.

 

Kenny got closer to Luke, pointing to the outside, “We've got God-knows-how-many walkers out there which YOU were supposed to be keeping an eye out for!”

 

“Well maybe we should do something about that.”, Jane spoke up. She isn't wrong but it wasn't as easy as it seemed. Like Kenny said, we have tons of walkers out there.

 

Carlos ran in with Sarah, “Quick, help me get situated.”, kneeling down to position Rebecca.

 

Kenny also ran over to Rebecca, “I'll give you a hand.”

 

“James, we need help out here!”, Mike yelled out from the deck as I heard the bullets start unloading into the horde. How was I supposed to help?! I... I can't handle a gun, not yet. Nonetheless I ran out to the deck, wanting to help in whatever way I could.

 

As I got onto the deck I noticed Sarah followed me, the gun I gave her in her hands. I thought Carlos took that?

 

Sarita was on the deck as well, helping with the walkers, “Sarah, go back inside! It's dangerous--”.

 

I cut Sarita off ,“She's fine.”. This wasn't the best time to see if she could handle it but I knelt down and looked her in the eyes, “Sarah, if you get scared go back inside. Okay?”.

 

Sarah nodded, shaking a tiny bit. I patted her on the back, “Just do what Clem taught you, don't forget to count if you need to.”.

 

“Keep shooting! They are NOT gettin' up here.” Luke hollered, continuing his onslaught of bullets.

 

Everybody started to unload onto the horde. I don't think Sarah shot, but these things do take time. I started stabbing the walkers that were at the gate but after a while I couldn't hold them off myself.

 

I heard a shrug from Jane as her gun clicked, “I'm out!”.

 

The door was about to burst, we all held onto it, pushing as hard as we could. I saw Luke run over to Clementine, together they pushed the cannon up to the gate, blocking it up further.

 

“What the fuck is goin' on out there?!” Kenny hollered, still helping Rebecca give birth.

 

I felt the deck rumbling from under me, this wasn't going to hold for long...

 

Sarita ran over to Sarah, “Sarah, go inside!”.

 

“This deck's gonna give!” Mike yelled, running back inside with everybody else.

 

In a last attempt to do some right I ran over to Sarah, in hopes of getting her inside. The deck gave as I ran over to her, before hitting the ground I saw Sarita push Sarah further back onto the deck.

 

As my body smacked the ground I felt pressure all over the right half of my body. Opening my eyes slowly and looking around, I saw the deck was on top of me. Sarita was nowhere to be seen. I could barely see Sarah dangling off the deck, it sparked a panic in me but thankfully Bonnie snatched her up.

 

“Oh my god! Are you guys okay?!” I heard Bonnie's voice ring out. Come to think about it, everything was ringing.

 

“Nghhh..” I couldn't speak properly, but I did feel something wet on my arm... wet and warm. It was blood, the real question was is it mine?

 

“We're coming down!” Luke yelled down to us, we just needed the walkers off of us right now.

 

“Nh...No, just-- just keep them off us!” my head was aching, not a surprise considering the circumstance.

 

My arm was hurting bad... do I want to know what happened to it?

 

Jane jumped down, “Hold on...”. She started to lift the deck off of me.

 

The deck finally lifted off of me, as I looked over at my arm I saw a pool of blood... Oh my god. My arm had a chunk taken out of it, blood was just _pouring_ out. What was wrong with it?! I grabbed my arm, trying to stop the flow. I looked around for a sign of Sarita, I could see her leg sticking out. “We need to get S-Sarita! I'll help!”.

 

“Wait, Sarita?!” I heard Kenny's voice shout out from the top of the deck, seeing his face lean over the deck, a menacing glare overcoming his features. “You lil piss ant--”, he nearly jumped off the deck but thankfully Mike and Luke held him back.

 

Jane looked over at me, “Just go, I got this!”. I could hear the clicking from the upper deck, everybody was running out. I started to kick walkers away, I wasn't gonna abandon anybody. Not today, not ever.

 

“Fuck!” I heard Jane cry out, running over to see the deck was off Sarita but...

 

It had impaled her, right through her stomach. No, no this wasn't supposed to happen. The noises around me became blended, I could hear screaming. My head was dizzy, next thing I knew I was being pulled back up the deck. Looking at my arm I saw the crimson stream flowing still, is this karma?

 

Once at the top I felt something, rough hands around my neck. A blunt force hitting my face, was I on the ground? The world just kept getting darker, until the second hit split my lip. Dad? I could start to make out words again. “What did you fucking do?!”, that voice... Ken?

 

“Get off'a him!” That was Luke, no doubt. The pressure was lifted off me, and as I felt two pairs of hands carry me inside I slowly drifted into the dark.

 

Groggily opening my eyes, looking around the dim room just to meet them with a familiar blue pair. Biting his thumb in his usual manner, looking down at me. I spoke up, voice strained from its dryness “What're you doin' up?”.

 

“Keepin' watch. We were worried 'bout you.” he said, kneeling down to hand me a bottle of water. I tried to lift my arm but it hurt? Looking down I saw it was bandaged, it wasn't bleeding anymore but it was too sore to move. Using my other arm I grabbed the water and chugged it, it felt like I haven't drank in forever, or ate for that matter. Nick whispered in my ear, “C'mon, we can talk in the other room. So we don't wake the others.”. I nodded, following him into the side room.

 

Once in the side room I sighed, covering my face with my hand “Nick, I'm so sorry...”. Seeing him give a questioning look I continued on, “I just _fuck_ everything up, ever since I met y'all. I got Sarita killed, I almost got Sarah killed! It shoulda been me under that deck, not her--” I stopped talking when Nick got in my face, glaring at me.

 

“This was **not** your fault.” the warmness from his body was refreshing compared to the chilly winter air, “I should've done more... maybe this wouldn't've happened.”.

 

I stiffened up, “No, you were doin' just as much as any of us!” trying to not get flustered by how close we were, “Th-This is nobodies fault! Not yours, not mine!”.

 

I gulped, watching his piercing blue eyes soften, “James...”. It was hard not to stare, considering he was right in front of my face. Leaning down to stare me in the eyes he got a bit closer, our nose started to touch. Oh good lord are we about to...?

 

“Will you be quiet--” I looked pass Nick's head, seeing Kenny standing there. “You piece of shit! You get Sarita killed and now you get to have your fine and dandy with your fruit loop boyfriend!?”, he walked up trying to push Nick out of the way but failed. Nick grabbed him, pushing him away from us.

 

That's when Clementine came in, “Kenny...? What are you guys doing?”.

 

I pushed both Nick and Kenny out of the way, “It's okay Clem, let's go back to bed.”. I wasn't trying to baby her, but even adults don't need to deal with this nonsense. I looked back at Nick then headed back to the other room with Clementine. Taking my diary out of my bag I started to write just like old times.

 

_Nearly dying was scary, but living makes me even more scared. I feel like a mess, I am a mess. I'm not sure why most of the people here like me, I'm... not sure why Nick likes me. If he actually does? What was that back there? This is all so confusing, Goodnight diary. In hopes for a better tomorrow._

 

As I put my book back in my bag I laid there, waiting to drift off into sleep.


	13. Daddy's Boy

# Chapter 13: Daddy's Boy

 

I was awoken to the sound of screaming, but not your normal kind of screaming, it was the baby. Everybody else was laying down so I got up to hold them, they were so delicate... That's when Rebecca turned over, staring at me as I held her child. “O-Oh, I hope ya don't mind. I've held babies before, raised them before, if that helps. Here.”, I handed the baby back to her. “What's their name?”

 

“His name is Alvin Jr., AJ for short. Just like his daddy... You've raised a baby before?”, Rebecca's expression turned into a smirk. “I never pegged you as the baby daddy type.”

 

“I'm not! I mean I've never even-- it was my niece. Her parents were... busy. Y'know?”, while we continued talking everybody started to rise from slumber. My body just felt horrible, dried up blood and dirt all over me. “Excuse me.”, I walked over to Troy who was just sitting there, I watched as he went to scratch himself with his hand just to be hit with a stump. Shit, this was depressing.

 

“What're you fuckin' staring at?” Troy was his usual cheery self, honestly I wouldn't be sure how to act if he changed.

 

“Do you mind makin' a trip with me? I really need to wash this off...” I gave a small laugh, man I looked like shit.

 

“You fuckin' kidding me? Ugh, fine, be ready in a couple minutes.” I gave Troy a pat on the shoulder as a symbol of thanks and went to the side room for a breath of air. Nick was in there, did he sleep here last night?

 

I sighed, “You alright Nick? I'm sorry for--”.

 

“No more sorry, it gets us nowhere.”, his face didn't look that sad, in fact it almost looked content? Maybe this was his slice of silence before the uncertainty of today. I sat down next to him, pulling my knees up to my chest. Just silence, no self depreciating conversation, just blissful silence together. That is until Troy came walking through the doors.

 

“Get th'fuck up, I ain't wasting all day with you.” he grabbed me up, dragging me down the steps. I gave Nick a small wave goodbye just to hear a small scoff from Troy. A good half an hour walk lead us to a stream similar to the one we found before heading to the deck. “I'll go wait up ahead, no longer than 10 minutes, okay?”. I nodded, rinsing off my face with the water as Troy walked away.

 

I already felt better, Ken sure did fuck up my nose good. Washing the dried up blood of my skin, I relaxed a bit, soaking up the serenity of the water.

 

Suddenly a large arm wrapped itself around my waist, lifting me off the ground slightly. Panicking, I started to flail my legs and opened my mouth to scream, only for it to be covered with a bulky hand. “Hush boy, wouldn't wanna attract none of them lurkers now would we, JJ?”, I stopped moving all at once when I heard who it was, my father. “Now tell me son, who did'ya kill?”, my eyes widened at this question as the hand was removed from my mouth.

 

Twisting my body I looked him in the eyes, still being held tight in his firm grip. “How did you know that I--”

 

“So what was it? A man, woman...” I stayed quiet, trying to keep a emotionless facade that was soon broken when the next option was uttered from his mouth “A kid?”. My expression twisted at the thought, “Shit, you killed a kid!? I thought I was the monster here! How old were they? Was it long? Messy? C'mon JJ, I need some details here!” he started to shake me a bit, his excitement was unsettling.

 

I decided to keep my silence, he didn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing. As if it was fate my picture of Farah fell out of my jacket, it took Joe no time to drop me and pick up the photo. “Who's this lil' flower? You into little girls now JJ? Course not, you like them men now don'tcha? Oh, the things I'd do if I had this kid--”

 

Before I could process my thoughts I was up off of the ground, punching Joe once in the face. “Don't you fuckin' _dare_ speak of Farah like that! She never deserved what she got and she doesn't deserve you shittin' on her name now!”, I pushed him back, which of course barely moved him.

 

With a grin he knocked me down, pressing his foot on my neck hard enough to make it extremely difficult to breathe. “Farah, eh? Ain't that your niece? Ya kill your niece, JJ?! How 'bout you go pay poor ol' Farah a visit? Tell her how you're just like yer ol' pops--” _BANG._ His body just fell, as if he was a bag of rocks. Twenty two years of pain just washed down the drain, cleansed from my mind. I took a good minute to look at his lifeless body, it would've been me if Troy hadn't of shown up in time. My throat hurt just thinking about it.

 

“You're always getting your pansy ass into trouble ain't ya?! Get the fuck up!”, I never felt more safe hearing Troy's voice. I slowly got up, kicking Joe's corpse on my way over.

 

“Let's just go.”, I started to walk back to the deck. A weight has been lifted yet I don't feel any better, why is that? Oh, right, because I've learned I'm no better than him. These hands have blood on them, Innocent blood.

 

“Did you really kill her... your niece?”, Troy had a way of snapping me out of my thoughts, not always in a good way.

 

“I... yes. I shot her, it was dark and I was drunk. I thought she was one of them, I- I...”, I felt his hand on my shoulder, “I was her guardian, y'know? I was the one to raise her, not my sister. She'd always run 'round yellin' 'Uncle James look at this! Uncle James can you help me with homework? Goodnight Uncle James, I love you!'” I was cut off by my own tears, holding my mouth shut so I wouldn't sob.

 

“I wish I had a fuckin' Uncle like that. My parents didn't even want me, foster parents were shitty too. Drunk assholes. ”, he scoffed in between sentences. “That guy back there was your dad, right? Man, fuck parents.”. That last remark made me chuckle a bit, though the rest of the trip back was silent. Not the same content silence as before though.

 

Once Troy and I got up onto the deck everybody was staring at us strangely, what was going on?

 

“Um, James? Ya mind talkin' for a minute with us?”, Bonnie was sitting in a corner with Luke, both of their faces seemed worried.

 

Walking over hesitantly, I could see their faces grow more serious. “I- Is somethin' wrong? Everybody okay?”

 

Bonnie put her hand on my shoulder, “Are _you_ okay? We heard yellin', then a gun shot... we almost came lookin' for you.”.

 

Luke looked me in the eyes, “Was it Troy? Dammit I knew we shouldn'tve--”.

 

“Hey! It wasn't Troy, okay? He-- I just don't wanna talk 'bout it.”, I was worried I was going to burst into tears again. That would only raise suspicion. Both of them gave me a nod, letting me walk away from the group. I decided to write in my diary again.

 

_Joe is gone, but what weight should that lift? It just left me with so many thoughts, I'm going to have to tell the group at one point. How will they react? How will Ken react? How will Nick? What has life come to, Farah? I'm almost glad you never had to go through with this world, this life._

 

That's when I felt a tap on my leg, looking up to see the usual icy blue eyes of his, “Wanna talk 'bout it?”. I spaced out for a second, should we talk about it? Nick doesn't even know what _it_ is... no, he deserves to know. I nodded, heading to the side room with him yet again.

 

“Nick, I... I don't know h-how to tell you other than coming out with i-it.” my head started to rush, tears swelling with it “I- I... I killed somebody, a kid.”. His eyes widened, before he could speak I continued on “She was my niece, it was the first night shit hit the fan... She, she was in the dark with them walkers and I was drunk and I thought she was one of _them_.”. That's when I had a pair of arms wrapped around me, a sympathetic embrace. “My dad showed up today...” this was going to be a long story to tell.


	14. The Calm

# Chapter 14: The Calm

 

I woke up earlier than usual today, mostly everybody was asleep, including Nick who I was snuggling into? Jerking back, I looked around, making sure nobody was around to see that. He was a pretty warm sleeping spot though, considering it's starting to snow outside.

 

I walked into the main room, only Clementine and Sarah were awake at the moment, I decided to walk up to them “What's goin' on lil' ladies?”.

 

Sarah frowned, “I want to learn how to shoot, Clementine said she'll help me but my dad wouldn't want me to...”. Poor girl just wants to learn how to protect herself, hm... Carlos is still sleepin' so we got a shot at it right now.

 

“Hon, fun fact about life, parents are going to be upset no matter what.” Okay, maybe I was projecting my own problems onto her, but i'm not particularly far from wrong. “Let's try shootin' outside. Meet you out there.”

 

I walked outside and saw Jane out there, looking at the ground and being her silent self. I walked up to her, trying to strike up a conversation with her.

 

“Hey there... uh, Jane. Somethin' wrong?” this was one of the first times I've approached her, and to be honest I'm intimidated by her.

 

She looked up at me, her eyes as steely as the rest of her appearance, “Why do you care?”.

 

“Oh, just bein' friendly is all... y-you wanna help Clem and I teach Sarah how to, er, protect herself?” I didn't come over here to ask her this, but I thought spending some time with Sarah could be good for her. Maybe it'll make her feel more welcome with us?

 

Sighing, she replied with “This is just a waste of t-- You know, i'm not doing anything right now, sure.”.

 

That's when Clementine and Sarah walked out, with guns in their hands. Jane and I walked over as Clementine instructed Sarah, “Just do what we did at the cabin.”.

 

Sarah raised the gun, taking a sharp breath in as she pulled the trigger. Wincing as the gun unloaded its bullet into the tree next to the can.

 

"Try again.", Clem called out. She sounded like a teacher, it was pretty cute. Jane was skeptical of Sarah, but I'm hoping Clementine and I can change her mind. Taking another shot, Sarah skimmed the side of the can this time.

 

Her face scrunched up in disappointment, I patted her on the shoulder, "Yer doin' just fine. Try goin' more to the right." Once again she shot out, this time hitting the can again. It was cute seeing Clementine give her a high five after that.

 

“Why don't you use a gun, James...?” it was an innocent question, Sarah didn't know what it meant to me. Hell, I don't think anybody does.

 

“You see... I hurt somebody with a gun once, somebody I cared about a lot. I – I don't trust myself with 'em still.” I could see Jane glaring at me, not in a threatening way, just plain curious I would assume.

 

Sarah cocked her head to the side slightly, “Oh... what happened after that?'.

 

I looked at the ground, “They died, Sarah. That's why you don't aim at anybody unless you plan to shoot, okay?”. There was no point in lying about it, we can't be sheltering her anymore. She understood though, nodding in response.

 

“There's one more thing to show you, but we need a walker first. Come with me” Jane chimed in, waling away with Sarah, I wonder what they were going to do? Maybe my plan was working, they are spending time together after all!

 

“So, Clem, what do you think of Jane?” it always felt weird trying to converse with Clem, she was different then the other kids I've met before.

 

Watching Clementine smile she looked over at me, “I like Jane, I'm glad she's with us.”.

 

All a sudden I heard running. As I looked over to the source of sound I saw Carlos with a shotgun in his hands “Why was there shooting, where is Sarah?!”

 

I held my arms in the air, “W-Whoa! Hold on, everything's fine. We we just showin' Sarah how to shoot, false alarm.”. I could've sworn Carlos' face was turning red, he started stomping over to me, his gun still raised.

 

Pressing the gun into my chest, he started to speak “If anything happens to my daughter I will--”

 

He was cut off by a familiar young girls voice, “Dad!”. Sarah ran up, grabbing Carlos' arm “Why do you have a gun pointed at James?”. Carlos didn't answer Sarah, instead he kept starring Jane down.

 

His stare held strong as he was staring Jane down, “We need to talk. Alone.”.

 

I ushered the girls inside, not wanting them or myself to hear or see what was going to happen. While walking up the steps I paused to see if Nick was still there, letting the girls walk ahead of me. He wasn't there, the gunshots must've woke him up. Whilst walking into the main room I was grabbed, jumping I turned around and saw Bonnie and Luke.

 

It looks like these two were getting on better terms, but why do they keep pulling me aside? “W-What's goin' on now?”. Bonnie looked pretty giddy, but Luke... Luke looked concerned. What was happening?

 

Bonnie was grinning, a strange sight to see these days. “We saw you talkin' with Nick last night, you two are gettin' pretty close, ain't ya?”. Oh, oh no. I didn't want anybody getting ideas but I guess it was too late for that, huh?

 

I tried my best to steer them away from what they were thinking, “Oh, I mean we were just, u-uh talkin' and s-stuff. Friendly stuff like th-that and all.”. By the looks on their faces I could tell they didn't buy it, I wasn't a very good liar.

 

Luke's face twisted, “Friendly stuff? Is that-- Is that what you're callin' it? Man, I never thought Nick turned…. you know.”. Did he just-- You know what, I'm not in the mood to discuss this junk with others.

 

I accidentally slipped in an eye roll in my response, “I-- Y-Yeah, i'm just gonna g-g-go now.”. I turned around, walking back into the main room to be met with quite a peculiar sight. Nick was holding the baby-- AJ. His whole body looked so wound up,as if he was holding a bomb. I couldn't help but chuckle, “This yer first time holdin' a baby? Ya look so tense.”.

 

His arms tensed even more as he took his eyes off AJ to look at me, “I just don't wanna drop it, I got it.”. His focus turned back to the baby in his arms, acting like any inch of movement will break the kid.

 

His hand was up a little too high, “Here, move yer hand down a bit more.”. He just looked over at me, a less then happy expression on his face.

 

He huffed, “I said I got it.”. Yet he still moved it anyway, I couldn't help but laugh at how stubborn he was. He turned his gaze away from me as I laughed, looking embarrassed.

 

That's when I could hear yelling outside, Carlos yelling to be exact. Man, I need to have a talk with him, I can understand his point of view on this but he needs to understand ours.

 

Looking around, I saw Troy talking to Sarah, he looked teary? Being my usual self I walked over, “Everythin' alright, Troy...?”

 

He turned around, “Yesterday just... got to me. I know I'm an asshole but I don't want to be the asshole nobody likes, I was just tellin' Sarah i'm sorry, for... you know.”. He was changing, it made me smile. “Don't expect me to get all soft or shit!”.

 

“I wouldn't count on it, bud.” I nudged Troy's arm, causing him to laugh a bit. Maybe everything was calming down? That was until everybody heard Carlos outside again. Poor Sarah, it was obvious that she was distressed by it, how could I take her mind off of it? Hm....

 

I knelt down, “Hey Sarah, you wanna play a game? The hat one?”. Her face lit up, nodding as I motioned her to get up on my shoulders. Now things were serious, this is our second strike upon the Nick's Hat Empire. Once Nick put down AJ and stood up it was our moment, we charged.

 

“GO GO GO!!” we collided with Nick, knocking him over once again. Sarah went for the hat just like last time, and Nick yet again struggled under us. She got the hat in the nick of time, you could say. Instead of running with the hat this time she put it on my head? I looked over to what seemed to be a pissed off Nick, as soon as he saw the hat he cracked a smile, even a slight laugh?

 

Once he calmed down he spoke, “Looks good.”. Well I didn't expect that, I mean, I don't know.

 

“Heh, looks better on you though.”, I put the hat back on Nick's head, pushing the front over his face playfully. I heard stomping and sighing, looking over I saw Carlos, I might as well catch him while he's still fired up. “Carlos. We need to talk.”. Oh boy, here it goes.

 

Basically spitting in my face, he turned to face me “What do _you_ want?”.

 

I breathed in, “Listen, Carlos, I respect ya but... but yer bein' unreasonable! Think about what we're trying to do for Sarah, we're trying to make it so she doesn't get hurt! The same thing yer tryin' to do! Sh-Shouldn't we be on the same page then?!”. He didn't say anything, he just turned away. “You can turn away from me, Carlos. That's fine, but it's your daughter it's damaging.”. I couldn't take it, I ran outside, but upon my arrival I saw Clementine and Jane.

 

Jane's face was tinged with sorrow, “I'm not gonna stick around and...”.

 

“Are y'all alright?”, by the look on their faces I might've intruded on a personal moment.

 

“Look, I gotta get out of here. I thought... I thought bonding with Sarah would make me want to stay, but I don't want to get attached to anybody, it's too risky. I have to go now... keep that girl safe.”, I didn't know what to say at this. Jane's leaving? How's Luke going to react, or any of the group for that matter? Clem and I watched as she walked away, vanishing into the woods.

 

Though Jane was gone the air felt... peaceful? Eerily so, like the calm before the storm. Now it's time to go tell the others...


	15. The Storm

# Chapter 15: The Storm

 

All I could feel was the crisp coldness of the winter air, it wasn't this cold yesterday. I couldn't help but shiver as I walked over to Rebecca, waking her up so she could get her bearings before we go.

 

Jane leaving left people confused, angry, and betrayed. Most importantly it reminded us we need to leave as well, it was getting colder and we were out of supplies.

 

“Come on, we gotta head out.” Luke's voice sounded drained, all ours did. We were running off of no food and barely any sleep.

 

I headed over to my bag, pulling it over my shoulder. Oh, something fell out? Picking it up I took a good look at it, of all times for her picture to show up... I shooking my head, shoving it back into my bag. You need to be on top of your game today, James, there's a storm brewing.

 

As we started walking it felt as if the temperature dropped ever further. I could feel a pair of eyes watching me, looking over I saw Mike, “How're you two doing? You and Carlos.”

 

“We're just.... not on good terms, I guess.”, I groaned while I shrugged. What other way could've I have said that? We're both too stubborn to come to an agreement.

 

He pointed over to Nick, who was biting his thumb. “He's been avoiding you all morning, something happen?”.

 

I sighed, “I noticed. I don't know what's got into him...” Perhaps I was just a quick phase, something to get his mind off of the world for the moment. I wouldn't blame him... but it'd be disappointing to say the least.

 

I couldn't help but notice how slow Rebecca was walking, the poor woman feels exhausted more than any of us. I walked up and supported her with my arm. “You need anything Bec?”.

 

“No, no I'm alright... My sister had it so easy.... her birth was only two hours.” her humor was the only thing keeping her going, if she'd have lost hope long ago she would've never made it.

 

“Um, if you need help with AJ I'd be glad to help ya...”, It's been so long since I've helped raise a baby. At the same time it feels like it was yesterday.

 

Her head lowered, staring at AJ, “Honey, I appreciate it, but we all know...”.

 

I tightened my grip on her, securing her position more,“Hey now, don't go talkin' like that Bec. We're gonna get you--”.

 

I was cut off, “I'm not going to be there for him....”. Her voice sounded broken, as if she was going to sob.

 

I knew what she was saying was true, but I refused to acknowledge it, “All of us will be there for him, Bec.”.

 

Who was 'All of us' though? Is this group even together at this point? We have so many differences, it's almost as if we're all somehow alone yet together.

 

All I could feel was the cold of the winter, it was probably near Christmas considering this snow. Christmas was my favorite holiday, like most children. It left me with memories of my Grandmother and I making Tula Gingerbread. Though the homemade caramel was my favorite, still is. All this thinking about food made my stomach growl, when was the last time we ate?

 

As I was lost in my thoughts I almost didn't notice Rebecca's weak body falling to the ground. I barely grabbed her, making sure she didn't drop AJ.

 

Bonnie helped me pick her up, “You alright?”. We took a look at each other, we both knew she was getting too weak. The group had to stop, letting Rebecca sit down on a tire we saw on the side of the road.

 

Luke turned to us, “She's exhausted. We all are.”. I couldn't help but notice his obvious glare at Kenny, non of us really needed this tension.

 

Kenny turned around, his face red. Was is from anger or the cold? Probably both. “We should've left earlier, instead of waitin' around.”.

 

Mike stopped, pointing behind back from where we came, “We could turn back if we-”.

 

He was cut off by Kenny. “That's not an option.” he turned back around, stomping faster than before. “Everybody keep going we're runnin' outta daylight.”

 

This time Luke stopped, staring Kenny in the eyes. “You don't even listen to anyone else. You just go on barkin' orders! You gotta lighten up, okay? You're pushing 'em too hard.”. I gulped, this could set him off... Kenny hits hard, that I know for sure.

 

“Can you two shut the fuck up?!” Troy stepped in, causing Kenny and Luke to stop their stare down. He looked over to me, I mouthed a 'Thank you.' to him, causing him to grin.

 

The storm was horrible, it's as if the temperature had dropped another 10 degrees. It felt like my bones were being frozen, I could never stand the cold. The view of the snow falling was pleasant though, I feel like I could drift away watching it... We all sat down in the snow, resting our sore legs. Laying back I shut my eyes, crisp flakes of snow landing on my chilled body.

 

I could've fallen asleep if it weren't for the voice that rang out from far away, “Hello?!”. It was a russian accent, like the boy from the deck. Could it be him again? If so, why?

 

“Who is this?” Luke questioned, tightening his grip on his gun. I didn't like how this felt, something was wrong about this. I look my knife out of my bag, clenching it tight in my hand.

 

Clementine tensed up, her face twisting as she got up off the ground,“Arvo?”. Judging by her tone this boy wasn't a welcomed guest.

 

It was only best to get up, brushing off the snow from my hair. “Who's he?”, there must be more. One teen alone wouldn't hold up a group unless he was stupid.

 

“Jane and I met him on the observation deck, before everyone else came.”, shit, this is the guy they held up?

 

“That's the guy?”, Luke obviously heard about him as well. He was advancing pretty slow, did he have something wrong with his leg?

 

“You know this sonuvabitch? What's he want?”, Kenny put his hand behind his back, fingers barely brushing his pistol.

 

“I don't trust him. Also, he might be mad at us.” What did Clementine mean? Why would he be mad at as? This made everybody more tense, raising their weapons.

 

Carlos ushered Sarah behind him, “Sarah, get behind me.”. Arvo was here now, only a few feet away from us, it doesn't seem like he has a weapon either. Just like the others, I don't believe it.

 

“Hello! You are Clementine.” Arvo smiled, he looked so young... He couldn't be more than 18. I was right about his leg too, it has a brace on it.

 

“What's goin' on here, friend? You got people with you? Where are they?” Kenny eased his pistol out of his back pocket, fully into his hand now.

 

Luke walked closer to Arvo, lowering his gun a bit, “You're not out here on your own, are you?”.

 

That's when people started coming out from the trees, two men and a woman. The bigger man went behind us as the woman stood next to Arvo, the last man stood in the trees to our side. They all had big guns, aimed right at us. Everybody raised their guns up higher, looks like this turned into a standoff.

 

“These are my friends. We stay hidden for safety, but _you_ we know. You're Clementine.” This Arvo guy didn't sound too happy right now...

 

The woman spoke in Russian, all I could translate was “Them?”. I was very rusty on my Russian, but I definitely knew some.

 

Arvo looked back at her, “Yes, them.”. What did we even do to him?

 

The big one started laughing, and not the happy type of laugh, it sounded menacing. He also started speaking in Russian, “Tell them put on the ground and that we are taking everything.”. What? They want to take _everything_? It's not like we had much of anything to begin with, but no way!

 

Arvo nodded, speaking in English this time, “I told them you are the ones who robbed me. They think its funny that you're just a little girl...”. They robbed him? That does explain where our pain killers came from... I just thought Bon snagged them at Howe's.

 

“ _Robbed?_ ” Kenny didn't seem too happy about this either, by his tone and the disappointed look he was giving Clementine.

“... and they want you and your friends to put down the guns so we can take your things.” Arvo didn't look too happy about this himself, was he put up to this? His face looked... guilty.

Everybody started getting excited, pointing their guns at eachother. It was weird being the only one without a gun, I feel almost helpless... I didn't want this, I had to do something. I tried my best to remember what little Russian I knew “W-Wait!”. This caught their attention “We can... d-deal. Give for give.”, I wasn't sure what we'd give to them.

I could hear Kenny grunt from behind me, “What the fuck are you-”.

 

“Lay off him, Kenny.” Nick came to my defense, those were the first words I heard him spoke all day. It was a relief to know he somewhat cared.

 

I watched Arvo look over at his group, frowning as he looked back at me,“I am sorry, but we are not here to make deals. Buricko is saying that we will take everything.”.

 

This made everybody start yelling, waving their guns around carelessly. No, no I can fix this! Can I? I speak like a child to them, I barely know anything! All I can do is try.

 

I put my knife back in my bag, raising my hands, “We can sort this out, a-act like adults! This is.... childish!”.

 

Mike also tried helping in being a voice of reason,“This can be easy for you. Just put your guns down.”.

 

Clementine also tried to stop this tension, “We have a baby!”. That should help, who could hate a baby? They're so small and adorable.

 

“You have a baby with you?” Arvo sounded shocked, understandably. He started speaking to his group, all I could assume he was saying was what he already told him.

 

“Back the fuck off!” Kenny was talking to the bigger man in the group, the bald one.

 

“Put down or we shoot!” The man didn't seem like he was joking around at all.

 

I grabbed Kenny's arm, “Put yer guns down! Th-They'll shoot!”. Kenny knocked me back, making me stumble on my feet.

 

Arvo started pleading in Russian, “Buricko, Buricko, stop! Put down! You don't want to do this!”. I was right, this kid didn't want to do this at all. I wish I could help but this situation is clearly out of my hands now.

 

“Last chance!” the other man to our side shouted. I saw the big one, Buricko, put his finger on his trigger.

 

In one last attempt I yelled, “Listen to me they're gonna--”. It was too late, Buricko had already shot, hitting Rebecca straight through the head.

 

I fell to the ground at bullets started to fly, a searing pain started to flare in my side, I tried my best not to yell but I couldn't help myself. I wasn't the only one either, I heard a few others yell too. This was the storm.


	16. Three Of Us

#  Chapter 16: Three Of Us

 

I looked down to see blood coming out of my side, it doesn't feel like the bullet hit anything important but it still hurt like hell. I looked around to see who else got hit, Troy and Carlos. Shit, where was Sarah? I couldn't go see if they were okay because of all the bullets flying about. Shit, the baby! I crawled over, grabbing him and running to the cover Luke and Clementine were behind.

 

“Oh, shit. I didn't even see him out there! Nice work, James.” Luke tried crossing over the stone barriers to me, only to be shot and retreat back to his.

 

I flinched at his groaning, it sounded like it hurt bad, “Where'd you get hit?!”.

 

“Well, he got me in the leg, but... I think it went straight through... shit, I don't know.” Luke groaned as he held his leg.

 

“Here, take AJ.” I handed over the baby to Clem, “I have to see if Troy is... y'know! Fuck!”. I could see the blood pooling under Troy as I ran over, “Dammit, are you okay?!”.

 

Troy grunted, an aggressive frown overcoming his face,“Just fucking great!”. I had to duck at the bullets being shot at me. It was the big one, Buricko. He did this.

 

That bastard, he got Troy good. I could feel the pressure building up in me, the raw anger. I don't think I've felt this in a long time. I saw Troy's pistol on the ground, I picked it up before I could have second thoughts, unloading onto Buricko. Once I came to my senses I had hit him, right in the neck. That's when I heard that horrible noise, the gurgling. I dropped the gun as fast as I could, trying not to think about it. Helping Troy up I got a small, “I could've got that asshole.”. It was his way of saying thanks, I knew this by now.

 

“Kenny what're you doing?!” Clementine yelled out, turning around I saw Kenny had Arvo with a gun to his head.

 

“I'm ending this. Get out here! Right fuckin' now!”, Kenny was speaking to the last guy. I got the vibe the guy didn't care if Arvo got hurt.

 

“He's just a kid, Ken! He was put up to it!” I grabbed Kenny's arm, only to be shoved back. I grabbed my side as I stumbled back.

 

Another gunshot rang out, looking behind me I saw the woman from before. She was dead, inches way from Clementine. This caused Arvo to break out of Kenny's grip, running over to the woman. “Natasha, Natasha!! Nooo, please!” he whimpered holding the woman, now known as Natasha, in his arms. They must've been close. Perhaps they were family?

 

The last attacker rose, ready to shoot Kenny, but suddenly the last attacker fell to the ground, blood pouring from his mouth. There was a knife in the back of his neck, no, not just any knife. _Jane_. She just stood there, staring at what she just did. Until Kenny shot the man in the head, doing the same to Buricko's corpse.

 

“Jane!” Clementine ran over, giving her a one armed hug, holding AJ in the other. Jane hugged her back, giving a relieved smile. It was a touching picture, a reunion between friends and all.

 

The touching moment ended when Sarah started yelling “Dad! Daddy!!”. Looking over I saw Carlos... there was blood everywhere, a bullet wound where his heart is. Yet he was still moving, not because he was alive but because he had turned. We all got him off of Sarah before he bit her, shooting him in the head. I went to grab Sarah but she wasn't there, looking up I saw her running away.

 

“No, Sarah!” I started running, I didn't know how long she'd be running for but all I know is that I won't stop running. I heard footsteps behind me, it was Troy. I turned my head, yelling back at him, “You're hurt! You shouldn't be running!”.

 

“Do your ever shut the fuck up?!” even while he's bleeding out he has time to be his stubborn self. He was pretty fast for being shot, I guess I was too, it was the adrenaline and pain. She was dodging through the trees but did she now where she was going? After a while we were in a small shopping outlet, must be close to a town.

 

Sarah ran into a small building, a bakery, 'The Vanilla Bean'. “Sar-”, I covered my mouth when I saw the walkers in the building. It was too late, two noticed me, I kicked one down on the ground and started backing up as the other cornered me. I charged, stabbing it in the head with my knife. I put my foot on the already down walker, stabbing it in the head too. Where was Sarah? I saw Sarah's feet behind the counter, a bakery rack is the only thing separating the last walker from her. I stabbed it, but missed, only hitting its neck. It turned around, grabbing my arm, I couldn't reach my knife since it was hanging in the back of it's neck now. I pushed it off, stomping in it's head, trying my hardest not to cry at the pain in my side.

 

I moved the rack to the side, crouching to be face to face with Sarah, “Are you alright?”. She wasn't answering, only blankly staring at me. “Troy and I are here to get you, hon. We're all here for you, but we need to leave, now.”.

 

I held out my hand, only for Sarah to turn her head away from me. “I.. I can't.”

 

“There's lurkers outside! The shootin' brought 'em here, dammit we're fucked!”, Troy bumped my arm, “Gimme your knife, I'll hold them off.”. I handed over my knife, kneeling back down to Sarah.

 

“Sarah, we need to go now!” I didn't want to yell, but if we don't leave soon we can all die here.

 

“I cant, I can't, I can't. Daddy, I'm...” Sarah shook her head, I might have to force her up at this point.

 

“Can you two hurry the fuck up?!” Troy was starting to get overwhelmed with all the walkers, stumbling around as he stabbed them in the head.

 

“I know how you feel, I've done the same. My... closest friend left me so I could survive, you have to do the same. It's what we have to do, Sarah.” I held my hand out, Sarah gulped, grabbing it and helping herself up. Good, we can get out of here now.

 

“Come on, Sarah. We've gotta get back to the group. All three of us.” I gave Sarah a tight hug, thats when Troy stumbled over to us, “Let's get outta here, there's a stairway to the roof over here!”.

 

Troy grabbed my arm, "Wait.".


	17. Two Of Us

# Chapter 17: Two Of Us

 

“I'm staying behind, ain't makin' it like this.” Troy showed off his stomach wound, he _was_ stumbling around a lot. How much had he loss?

 

I grabbed his arm, “B-But, Troy! You don' need to do this!”. My mind was racing with dozens of possibilities, but I didn't see one where we could effectively get away from here with Troy. He was too hurt.

 

“I'm making my own decision for once, James. I've been told what to do since shit hit the fan.” there was no changing his mind about this. I didn't know what to do, I latched onto him as some sort of... goodbye hug. To my surprise he did hug back, he really wasn't half the asshole he played himself off as. When we stopped he looked me in the eyes, “Get that girl outta here safe, golden boy, or I'll come back just to kick your ass!”.

 

My voice was shaky, tears swelling up in my eyes, “O-Okay... I w-will!”. I picked up Sarah, who was still in shock, and ran up the stairs and onto the roof. Just as I slammed the door shut I heard a scream, then it really hit me.

 

No, no, no , no, NO. I wanted to scream, I wanted to scream and cry and throw a fit. I couldn't do that anymore, I have to be an adult, for Sarah if not for myself. I punched a wall, trying to let my anger out a bit. Did it help? Sort of, fucked up my hand a bit though, I guess that will happen when you punch a _cement wall_. “We gotta jump these rooves, get on my back.” I hoisted Sarah up onto me, man... I haven't jumped any roofs since high school. That's right, James, think of other things right now.

 

The door behind us started to shake, who knows how many walkers were behind it, it was either jump or die. I started to run, lunging off of the roof. Oh god, don't look down and.... we made it. Not without making my side flare up, it was still bleeding... it shouldn't be too serious, even if it was I have to get Sarah out of here, to the others.

 

This situation was all too familiar, my mind was racing, remembering things from years ago. I jumped another roof, and another, and _another_. Adrenaline won't allow me to stop, until a familiar man's voice rang out, “James?!”.

 

“N-Nick!”, we took a moment to stare at each other, this …is the first time we spoke today, he's talking to me again. I wanted to get closer to him, looking around I noticed a fire escape on the side of the building. I jumped down onto it, nudging Sarah to get off my back. “I-I'm gonna lower Sarah down!”. I didn't like how this was wobbling, I needed to get her off now.

 

“Okay!” Nick held out his arms, honestly he looked kinda funny like that, but this wasn't a laughing time. I laid on my stomach, lowering Sarah as far down as my arms could allow, not to mention I wasn't the strongest person out there. I felt a wave of relief when Nick caught her, she was safe now, that's all I cared about.

 

I could hear the moans of the walkers near us, it was the horde from the bakery, I had to get down and _fast_.

 

The metal started to shake more, this was _not_ the time for it to give out. Okay, all I have to do is get on the rail and jump – The metal gave out before I could do the second part of my plan, falling from underneath me. It'd be fine if the rest of it didn't come down on top of me, “F-Fuck, I think it hit my leg.”, my voice cracked, it hurt bad but I don't think it pierced anything, I hope it didn't.

 

Kenny came running over, I could hear him chanting “Not again.” under his breath over and over, what did he mean? I gasped when the metal came off my leg, it was relieving feeling, not being pinned under metal. His voice went back to normal, “Can you walk?”.

 

I got up off the ground, trying to walk, I had a small limp but I was fine. That's what I felt weight on me... it was Nick, his arms wrapped around me. I teared up, hugging him back, I was so glad to see him again...

 

We didn't let go, until we heard awkward coughing from Luke, “Arvo said he has a house not too far, with supplies. We're headin' out.”.

 

“We can't sit around, there's a horde on it's way. We gotta get moving.” Jane was right, the sooner out of here the better.

 

We all started walking until Luke stopped, “Wait – Where's Troy?”.

 

I just kept walking, I didn't have the energy to talk about it. Just to think that... he's back there. He... he turned. I just – I can't think about it. Nick put his arm around me, I leaned my head onto him. Despite the cold, and the threat of walkers, I felt safe. I made sure Sarah walked with us, I didn't want her being too far away from me, I kept a promise to Troy.

 

While walking I could hear a conversation between Jane and Clem.

 

“Look... I know you're probably pissed about me leaving... when I heard the gunshots I... I knew it was a mistake. If it helps, the things I'd normally do is walk away for good... but I didn't. Despite what my instincts are telling me. Despite... everything I've seen...” Man, Jane was giving a speech here.

 

“I'm not pissed... I'm glad you're back. I didn't want you to go in the first place.” Clem really did like Jane, it was kinda cute to watch them talk.

 

“Thanks. That's... that's good, because you're one of the reasons I came back, and it'd probably get pretty annoying if you hated me the whole time.” Jane joked with Clem, it's nice to see Jane has a silly side.

 

“Wouldn't want it to be annoying.”, Clem joked back with Jane, this was cute.

 

“ _No_. That would suck. I'm gonna try to make this work... All I can do is promise you I won't abandon you again. Which, to be fair, I've never done before...”, I feel like my analysis on Jane was right. She doesn't like getting close in fear of losing, it was her way of coping to leave before getting attached. I don't think it was the same with Luke though, she cares but I don't think she wanted a relationship.

 

It felt like we've been walking for hours, that was until Luke tripped over.

 

“Wait up! Wait, We need to stop.” Bonnie helped Luke to his feet, with the assistance of Mike.

 

“ No! No, I'm... I'm fine, okay? I just need a second. Sorry, I just... I just put more weight on it than I should've.” Luke was a bad liar, it was obvious that he was in pain.

 

“Alright, wait there!” Kenny yelled out to Arvo, who kept moving. “Hey! What'd I say?” Kenny grabbed him, throwing him to the ground. “When I tell you something, you fuckin' listen, you understand?”.

 

Mike stepped up, “Kenny, come on! There's no need for that.”.

 

“He's getting' what he deserves” Kenny aimed his gun at Arvo, to keep him on the ground.

 

I sighed, Arvo didn't 'deserve' this, he was leading us to supplies for god's sake, “Ken, back the hell off.”. I called out to Arvo in Russian, “It will be okay.”.

 

“Should've known you'd be buddies with the fuckin' ruskie.” Kenny shoved past me, sitting down on a tree stump.

 

“I'm gonna have a word with Kenny. He doesn't have to treat him that way. Kid's been through enough as it is.” Mike was trying to be a voice of reason.

 

“Good, teach 'im some manners while yer at it.” I couldn't hide that I was angry, it was true that Kenny has no filter though.

 

When Mike walked away I heard a gasp, looking over I saw Luke putting pressure on his leg.

 

“You look like crap.” Clementine remarked, making all of us laugh a bit.

 

“Don't make me laugh, all right? Hurts when I laugh.”, Luke's smile soon faded as he sighed, “How'd we get here?”.

 

“We walked... at least most of us did. You and James basically had to be carried.” Clem was in quite the joking mood today, perhaps it was to try to lighten the mood.

 

“ _Hey_.” I teased, gesturing to clementine, still giggling. Only one of us wasn't laughing, Sarah.

 

Clementine put her hand on Sarah's shoulder, “Are you alright, Sarah?”.

 

“I... will be... Thanks, Clem.” Sarah smiled for the first time today, good. I'm glad she has another child with her, despite their differences.

 

Bonnie walked up, fresh bandages and rubbing alcohol in her hands, “Hey, Clem... go over and see if you can change Kenny's bandages. I offered but... I don't think he was comfortable with me doin' it. You know him better than I do, maybe he'll let you do it. ”.

 

The mood dropped again, Clem sighed, “If I have to.”. She took the items, walking over to Kenny who had his usual pensive stare.

 

“Whoa, what happened to your hand?” Bonnie grabbed my arm, I forgot all about my hand. “Here, let me clean that.”. I forgot all about my hand, the pain in my leg and side must've muted it.

 

“Oh, I-It's nothin'. It just... it hit the ground when I fell, y'know?”, I knew I was a bad liar, probably worse than Luke, but I didn't want to bring it up.

 

“That's pretty messed up for just hittin' the ground.... but it's not our business, right Bonnie?” Luke intervened.

 

“O-Of course.”, I knew Bonnie meant well though, we were friends after all. As she cleaned out my wound on my hand I felt light headed, soon all I could hear was the faint noise of Nick calling out my name as I slipped under.

 

_Warmth, there were warm fingers going through my hair, why was everything warm in winter? “Good Mornin', Jamesy boy.”, it was the voice of an old friend. Devin? No, it couldn't be._

 

_“Hn..? Mornin' Dev. Farah up?”, my words were not my own, this was no dream. It was a flashback, to a time before all of this. Not too far before though, only hours before._

 

_“Oh, I took 'er to camp for ya, you needed th'sleep, birthday boy.”, ah yes, Devin the ever so sweet friend. Farah always liked going to camp though, it was nice for her to stay active during summer._

 

_The flashback started to blur, soon I was walking to Nate's truck hurriedly with Farah._

 

_“Why do I gotta leave camp early, Uncle James?” her voice , so innocent, so full of curiosity. If only..._

 

_Getting into the truck I reassured her, “Well ya see, hon, you get to help us get ready for the party!”. I reminded myself of Carlos here, trying to shelter her from the bad, I had seen the news report earlier._

 

_“I don't, heh, I brought my fair share of help” Nate was his classy self still, raising a pack of beer, what had ever become of him?_

 

_“Do you think mommy and daddy are gonn' be there?” She rarely saw her parents, they were both busy, in their own ways. Whether it was because of Rodney's infatuation with a certain bar a town over or Quinn's workaholic nature keeping her away from us._

 

_“Well, I sure hope so. Haven't seen your mom in a while.” I was so excited to see Quinn, to let Farah see Quinn. We might've had... problems, after Joe's arrest, but I still loved her no matter what she thought I did to get him in trouble._

 

_This is when the radio started blaring an emergency signal, I never liked how loud those were, made me anxious. Nate turned it off scoffing, “It's a bunch'a bull anyway. Now let's fuc–freakin' party!”. At least he made effort to not curse around Farah..._

 

I returned to consciousness, Nick ran over “You alright?”. As he helped me up onto my feet I winced from the pain. Not even from my bullet, but from my hand and leg as well.

 

“Heh, yeah. Just.. stressed. Can't really stop to let it out.”. So much had happened today, but I'm alive, I shouldn't complain.

 

I heard a small chuckle escape Nick's throat, “Yeah, I know what you mean.”.

 

“Well, let's head out” Bonnie called out, I had to admit I was embarrassed for making the group wait.

 

The sun was setting, the temperature lowering. If it weren't for Nick's warmth I'd be freezing my ass off by now. How long was it until we reached the house? We stopped when we found a... power station? This wasn't a house at all.

 

“Is that it?” Kenny yelled at Arvo, who didn't answer. “Hey, I'm talking to you!”

 

“What? It what?” the poor kid didn't understand him, he was probably as tired as us too.

 

“What do you mean 'what'?!--” Kenny was about to go off the deep end.

 

“He doesn't speak much English.”, Jane cut him off.

 

“Yeah, I can see that!”, then why was Kenny yelling at him?

 

Kenny was about to start up again but I hushed him, my Russian was still rusty as hell but it beat listening to this kid get yelled at for half an hour “Is this the place?”.

 

“Is still more walk, some more hours.”, Kenny wasn't going to like Arvo's answer.

 

Kenny waved his gun around as he grunted, “Goddammit, I knew this was gonna happen. This guy fucked us.”

 

“Like walking aimlessly is any better? We'd be fucked regardless, at least we have a better chance of supplies now.” Jane did have a point, what was Kenny's plan exactly?

 

Bonnie walked up, “It's getting' dark. Maybe we should stop for the night.”. We weren't gonna make it to the house in time before nightfall, this was the best idea.

 

“This is bullshit!” Kenny hollered, his face was red again.

 

“ _Relax._ ” Jane's voice was tense, she sounded annoyed.

 

“ _Don't tell me to relax._ ” Kenny's voice was getting tenser as well.

 

“Instead of fightin' how 'bout we make sure this place is safe? We're all tired, stressed, we need to take a moment.” I tried being the voice of reason, though I knew this wasn't my strong suit.

 

“Can we just try and have a calm, quiet night?” Clementine sounded drained, we all were.

 

“I'd be up for that.” Mike chimed in.

 

“Yeah, sounds nice.” Luke really wanted to get off that leg for the night, this was the perfect place.

 

“All right, y'all wait here. I'll go make sure this ain't some walker nest we're lockin' ourselves into.”, I think some of us were glad that Kenny was gonna go down, it'd give him time to cool down and us time to relax a bit.

 

Jane spoke up, “I'll go with you.”. Now they're working together? Great, maybe they'll talk out their problems. Probably not, but a man can dream, right?

 

“Take Alvie for me, Clem.” Kenny handed Alvin to Clementine, she was holding him like a natural, unlike Nick. She stuck her tongue out, making him laugh. Finally, we were gonna get a night of peace.

 

At least I hope so.


	18. Alcohol & Affection

# Chapter 18: Alcohol & Affection

“Come on over. It's safe.” Kenny called out, that's a nice change of pace for once.

 

I tried walking on my own, limping, but still walking. It was a cold area, but nice. It was nighttime by now, the only thing stopping the area from being pitch black was the fire we made. It helped with the cold, but poor Arvo was tied up to the side, in the cold. I had my arm over Sarah, she had finally calmed down.

 

Luke was first to break the silence, “Today's my birthday... Near as I can tell at least.”

 

“Happy Birthday, Luke” Clem and I said in unison.

 

“Yeah, man. Happy Birthday.” Mike chimed in.

 

“I can't believe you're 27 already, you're gettin' old.” Nick joked, smiling at Luke.

 

“Hey, you're pretty close to being 'old' yourself.” Luke joked back, earning a laugh from both of them.

 

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Bonnie started rummaging behind her “Was savin' it for a special occasion and... well, it bein' your birthday and all... figure...” she pulled out a bottle of wine “This's as good a time as any.”.

 

“Where did you get that?” Clementine asked, good question, where on earth have they been stashing that?

 

Luke answered, “Bill kept all the alcohol in the armory. He didn't like people... imbibing”.

 

“What's that mean?”, Clementine questioned.

 

I spoke up, “He didn't like people drinkin'.”. Not sure why Luke didn't just say that, Clem is a kid after all.

 

Luke started to raise the bottle to his mouth, “I feel kinda guilty taking the first --”.

 

Bonnie put her hand over the top of the bottle, stopping Luke from drinking it “Whoa, wait! You gotta make a toast!”.

 

“I'm not really... Okay. To the loved ones that we've lost along the way.. and to the hope that we see them again... some day”, I gotta admit that was a good speech, good one Luke.

 

“That was real nice.” Bonnie smiled.

 

“Yeah, I didn't mean for it to rhyme and all but--”

 

“Well, I got first watch.” Kenny announced, cutting off Luke.

 

The group then fell silent, it seems Kenny has a way of making people not want to talk recently.

 

“Fire's real nice. Plenty of room if you wanna get warm.” Bonnie broke the silence by calling out to Jane.

 

“Maybe in a bit.” Jane replied quietly.

 

“I didn't expect her to come back. Just when I thought I got her figured out, she up and surprises.” Bonnie said, turning her attention back to the group.

 

“She came back because she cares, it's foreign to her, feeling lonely.” I suggested, I knew a bit what it was like to be so lonely.

 

“Well, that'd explain a few things.” Bonnie said to Luke, earning a scary stare from him. “Oh, come on, I'm just teasin'.”

 

“It was stupid.”, Luke sighed.

 

“I understand. She's a pretty girl... once you get past all the dirt and guts.” Bonnie halfheartedly added that last part, staring at Jane.

 

“I don't know... I guess I just... wanted to forget about all this shit for like, ten minutes.” Luke confessed, a grimace on his face.

 

“Ten minutes? Man, that's longer than I'd last at this point.” Mike joked, lightening the mood. Mike was always trying to calm the tension, I liked that about him.

 

“All right, all right, it wasn't ten minutes.” Luke laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“Come on. We got a little one around.” Bonnie chimed in, though she was laughing herself.

 

“I know what you're talking about.” We all turned our heads to the source of the voice, Clementine.

 

“Do you?” Mike doubtfully smirked, as did most of us.

 

“You're talking about... kissing stuff.”, Clementine pouted as the adults busted into laughter. We weren't making fun of her, it was just that innocence was so refreshing to us.

 

“Ew! My mom said that's how you get cooties.” Sarah's face crinkled up as she spoke, only adding to the humor of the situation.

 

Letting out a small chuckle I gave the girls an escape, “Well, how bout you an' Sarah go do somethin' while the adults talk about 'kissing stuff'.”

 

“Let's go, Clem.” Sarah got up, waiting for her younger friend.

 

“Please!” Clementine begged, jokingly making a gagging gesture as she walked away with Sarah

 

We waited for the girls to go away to continue our conversation, “Man, was that your first time?” Mike asked Luke. We were really gonna dig into this, weren't we?

 

“Hell no! I was a grade A Casanova in college.” Luke nearly shouted proudly, it's not hard to see that happening I guess.

 

“Yeah, his moves worked on all the girls back then.” Nick confirmed, laughing softly.

 

“Worked on me.” Bonnie blurted, taking another swig of the drink. Only after that did she realize what she had just said, “I just did it too, didn't I? Sorry, it's the drink talkin'.”

 

“Speaking of drink.” Mike looked over at me, “I didn't see you take a sip.”. He held out the bottle to me, we just stared at each other for a moment.

 

“Oh, I-I don't drink.” I defensively raised my hands, the last time I drank was... back then.

 

“C'mon, you gotta lighten up!” Mike insisted, pushing the bottle forward more.

 

“I... okay.” I grabbed the bottle, looking down at it. My hand shook as I took a swig, sighing in relief. That was for Troy, he deserved a drink in his honor. I guess this was a step towards recovering, something like that.

 

“We don't really know much about you, James. Did you have a special person... y'know?” Bonnie spoke up. A special person? I mean, I could tell that one story...

 

“I had a girlfriend... once, when I was 17. We didn't really do much, I did it to be cool with my friends, and she really was just using me as some sort of tutor. One night she wanted to do... it. I wasn't attracted to her at all but I wanted to fit in, y'know? So she's tryin' to get my pants off, I'm stalling of course, and then my friend Devin walks in, buck naked! She got scared and ran out, never heard from her again.”, after I finished the story everybody just stared at me, it was sorta uncomfortable.

 

“A girl...?”, Bonnie sounded confused. Not that I blame her.

 

“Did your friend walk around naked often?” Mike tried holding back a laugh, it was strange after all.

 

“Oh, yeah. He was really comfortable 'round me, but Christmas was the funniest. He'd walk around, but he had on a Santa hat... you know where. He'd do it once the relatives left, but one year my grandma forgot her purse, and she nearly fainted!” I started laughing at the old memories, it seemed like I wasn't the only one either. I got a couple chuckles out of everybody by the time the story ended.

 

Then we saw a familiar face come sit down with us, Jane, her frame shifting uncomfortably as she found something to say, “... Hey.”.

 

“How ya doin'?” Bonnie awkwardly tried making small talk.

 

Jane looked over at her, forcing a slight smile, “Okay...”.

 

I figured I'd let them all get comfortable with each other, I had another person I was worried about, “I'm gonna go check on... him.”.

 

I approached our sniveling captive, I hate to call him that but that's what he is right now. I crouched down, “Hey, you okay? I'm sorry for... today.”.

 

“It not your fault, you try. Your Russian is... not so good.” Arvo remarked through his heavy accent.

 

I quietly let out a laugh, “I wish you could be at the fire. Here, have this.” I took off my hoodie, wrapping it around Arvo like some sort of... small blanket. It was the best I could do, and it was as cold as the frozen over hell we lived in today. “I'm going to sleep, try not to... upset Kenny. Goodnight, Arvo.”.

 

“Goodnight, James.” Arvo called back to me, I feel like I've gotten closer to him, I make interesting friends huh...

 

There were no beds unlike Howe's, so I could lay anywhere, I laid down close enough to get some heat from the fire. I wouldn't want hypothermia, would I?

 

I was sleeping soundly until I was nudged by somebody, lazily opening my eyes I saw Nick. “How 'bout we go let off the stress we've been buildin' up, somethin' poetic like that.”. He held out his hand, helping me up, what was left of the wine in his other. How could I refuse an offer like that? It wasn't like Nick to be this straight forward, it was kind of charming.

 

We ran over to the darkest area of the power station, hoping over the fence. We didn't want anybody seeing us, it felt like we were a couple teens sneaking out the house. We started walking. To where? We just didn't know.

 

That's until I found a tree, there was something about it. “Wanna climb this? Probably get a good view up there.”

 

“Sure, though the view down here is great too.” Nick flashed a small smile as he started climbing.

 

I fumbled around thinking of what to say, “C-Could say the same...”. I started climbing up behind him. This tree was tall, once we sat onto a thick branch I did something stupid, I looked down. It was pretty damn far up, a fall from here would probably result in a broken bone or two.

 

We sat there for a few minutes, this felt right, like I could just let it all out. Taking a gulp of the wine, I opened my mouth and started yelling, letting tears run down my face if need be. Nick caught on quick, also letting out his own problems. This went on for a bit, everything felt... lighter. I couldn't help but look at him, laughing at how dumb we probably looked.

 

Nick looked back at me and we sorta just sat there like that, taking in each others features. It was gorgeous, how his bright eyes contrasted with the darkness. I leaned in closer, trying not to overstep any boundaries. He replied, also leaning in, leaving only inches between our faces. I could feel my face burning as we connected, lips interlocking. Was this really happening? I mean, it definitely was, but it felt so surreal...

 

It went on like this for minutes, but it felt like hours, that was until I heard a growl. I pulled away, breaking up our little 'moment', “Wh-What was that?”.

 

Nick stopped, taking a look below us, “Holy shit, James look.”. That didn't sound too promising. Looking down I saw a few walkers, probably from all the noise we made, walkers and a BEAR? What is a bear doing here?! I mean, we're in the woods, but it should be hibernating by now! I guess the walking dead will mess up a good couple of months sleep... It was dark but from up here it looked like the bear was fighting the walkers.

 

There was nothing we could do but watch, I took another sip from the winde bottle, “Who's your bet on? Walkers or Bear?”.

 

Nick had his eyes glued on the fight, it was almost like we were watching TV, “Bear.”

 

The bear had taken down two so far, only around three to go too. The poor thing had been bit so much... it made me think of Troy. I took another big gulp from the bottle, trying to wash any memory of that away. I knew alcohol was a depressant, but hey, life is depressing.

 

The bear won, not all the walkers were dead but they were down. I don't think the bear was going to make it either though, it got bit multiple times... at least it went out with a bang, cool... I guess.

 

Nick put a hand on my shoulder, “I'm sorry, for avoiding you earlier... I just, didn't want to lose another person... After Pete, after Rebecca.... I guess some people are worth the risk.”. I looked over at him, smiling the best I could. It meant a lot, we've all lost people, but it's hard to come back from it.

 

We sat there for a couple hours, just gazing at the scenery, with the occasional walker of course. It got me thinking about myself, how was this going to go?

 

Not just with Nick, but with the others. How was I going to protect Sarah, how would it be different from before? Who knows what next thing will make Kenny go off the edge, especially with Arvo with us now. It felt like I was sinking under the pressure, but I can't afford to give in, I have to be stronger now.

 

What would Quinn think of what I've become? Not much, hopefully, I'd like to think she's forgotten about me... It's better that way. “Nick, are we... y-you know. 'Official'?” I mentally slapped myself, _god_ that was awkward, the drink is definitely wearing off now.

 

I heard him laugh under his breath, “Well, shit... Can't really say I expected to get this far...”. He shifted around, as if looking around for the answer itself “If you're okay with being 'official', I am too.”. The sun was starting to come up, it was time for us to head back to camp.

 

Climbing down the tree was always harder then climbing up, at least for me it was. My busted arm and leg weren't helping it either. The walk back was peaceful, of course there were a few walkers, but we could easily go around them. As weird as this may sound, I didn't feel as scared of them right now, despite being in a way smaller group right now.

 

As we reached the camp we heard everybody yelling. Did something happen? I started running, so did Nick. Did walkers attack? Was somebody bit? God, don't even let yourself think that. As we rushed up to the scene I saw the source of all the commotion. It... it was Arvo, he had bruises on his face, blood dripping from his nose. Kenny was yelling at him, I didn't take time to listen, only to yell “What the hell is goin' on?!”.

 

Kenny turned around, stomping over to Nick and I, grabbing my shirt he shouted “Where the fuck have you been?! Your little friend over here just tried running out on us!”. I could practically feel spit hit my face as he yelled.

 

I shook as I clenched my fists, sweating disregarding how cold it was, “D-Dad, I-”. I stopped before I started, this wasn't the time for fucking up “I mean, Ken-”.

 

“Listen boy, I know you have some daddy issues but-” That's it. I wasn't letting him be mean to me anymore, I lunged at Ken. I caught him off guard, I caught myself off guard as well, what the hell was I doing? I raised my arm to punch him, stopping as I looked up at Sarah. She was terrified, tears in her eyes. I couldn't do this, not now at least.

 

I had to control myself, for her, she is the only innocence I have left. I looked at Kenny, only to instantly be punched in the face. My vision blurred as I fell down, there was multiple people yelling but it all seemed to blend together as I passed out. Man, I really should've slept last night, can't say I regret it though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @rhydon Kenny and Jane's actions were both bad at the end, but in my opinion Jane hiding AJ seemed ooc. Considering each episode had different writers it was very jumbled what they wanted her to be throughout the season, because honestly the Jane we first meet and the episode 5 Jane seem different. Nick is one of my favorites, I hope I'm doing him some justice!


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